Life
by Wedjatqi
Summary: Unexpected news forces Teyla to seek out John in his isolation - the 5th and final part of the Death and Life series. JT. AU. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** This is continuing the series that began with 'Defeat', 'Departure', 'The Return' and then 'What is Lost and What is Found'. And now this one! Pls read these others first if you can.

**Warning:** This is a slower paced fic, with a lot of dialogue and introspection. You are forewarned. AU

**Disclaimers**: I own no part of the Stargate world, I make no money from this endeavour. It allows me to let my muse out to play.

--

The air was beautifully crisp and winter fresh as he drew it into his lungs. The mountains towered in the distance over the city. It was nice enough to drive out to the city every couple of weeks for his sessions with Dr Greesham, but he was looking forward to heading back to his cabin hide-away.

John placed the last shopping bags into the backseat of his car. The last bag was small and from a fashion store so he tucked it safely into another bag. He had bought the necklace on a whim. He didn't know if he would ever see Teyla again, but he had seen it in the shop window and it so reminded him of her that he had had to go in and touch it. Once placed in his hands by the helpful shop assistant he had to buy it. She would love it. Perhaps he could send it to her?

He shut his door and started up the engine. It had been a good day walking around the shops, feeling free and contented enough now among large groups of people. Dr Greesham said he was making excellent progress and John was finally beginning to agree with him. It had been a long tortuous four months of relative isolation, nightmares, soul searching and long walks through the winter landscape surrounding the cabin. But, he was finally feeling somewhat more settled. Not that he had decided what to do next, but the Doc said not to focus on that too much yet as he still had two more months of leave.

As he turned the car out of the car park and headed towards the mountains, he ran through what he and the Doc had discussed today. He had been seeing the Doctor twice a month for two hour sessions and John liked the man. He had been among the long list of SGC approved psychiatrists that lined the long length of the Rockies. Though the Doctor didn't have full clearance he had worked with people from the armed forces for most of his career. He was smart enough to never ask for any details about John's missions and had told John that in fact it didn't matter, as the emotional impacts of war time events was the same on people regardless to where they actually occurred. John wondered if the man would still agree if he knew John had been battling monsters in another galaxy. But then it hadn't been those monsters that had really damaged John; it had been good old fashioned humans.

John had begun to talk about Teyla with the Doc last time and they had spent much of today's session talking about her. It felt good to talk about her again and he had enjoyed telling the Doc about his beautiful and courageous wife.

"You sound like you still have strong feelings for her." Greesham had remarked. He was a tall distinguished looking man whose eyes suggested that he had seen his fair share of life. He sat opposite John in his well worn thick leather chair.

"I still love her and she says she still loves me." John had admitted now happy to talk freely about everything with this man. He was past the emotional protectiveness from before, he knew that he was free to express himself here and no one would know. He was safe and there were no judgements here.

"You said you felt that your marriage had been over before your capture. How were things once you returned?"

"I was a mess."

"How did you feel towards her once you were back?" He asked.

"I was happy enough to see her, but I didn't really want to be around her."

"Why?"

"Because it hurt more. We were so happy when we got married, but life got in the way and I didn't want her pity."

"You didn't want her support?"

"No. But, she gave it anyway. She visited me at the base a couple of times a week."

"How did you feel about that?"

"I didn't want to be around her, but it was always nice to see her." He looked down at his hands, the scratches and bruises long healed, but he could still feel them. "She could tell I wasn't okay. When she looked at me I felt like she was making demands of me. Wanting me to cry and I didn't want that."

"Why not?"

John chuckled at the usual play of question and answer with the Doc, at first it had annoyed him, but now he understood. "I was already hurt about her rejecting me as a husband…I didn't want her to comfort me. I didn't want to feel strongly for her again."

"But you said you still love her."

"I do and I did let her comfort me once. She went with me to Dad's funeral."

The Doctor nodded, they had spoken at length about his father. "After you found the letter from your father?" He asked for clarification.

"Yep."

"How were things between you and Teyla after that?"

"I left to come here to the mountains the next day." He paused wondering whether to tell him more. "We slept together that night. It was a comfort thing and I didn't want to remember just the tears and the pain."

Greesham nodded, making no judgements on him. "How did you feel after you slept together?"

"I regretted it in a way, but it was…nice to reconnect like that." He felt his cheeks warming. "To remember how things used to be so long ago. It had been well over a year since we last made love."

"Why did you regret it?"

Then they were at the crux of the matter, and at what John had been thinking about lately. He turned to look out of the Doctor's tall office window. The mountains outlined the city's landscape. Though the mountains looked barren he associated them with freedom and the search for peace. He had spent much time over the past days thinking along these lines as he stared out at the beautiful raw environment outside the cabin. "It reminded me of how things used to be. The happy times between us." He lapsed into silence and Greesham waited, sensing he had more to say.

"I miss her." He confessed. "Before I was captured we had fallen into silence, never really talking, silently pulling apart." Lonely memories played through his mind. "I used to lie awake and watch her sleep. She used to lie at the furthest edge of the bed well away from me. If she touched me accidently in her sleep she would pull away. Even in her deepest sleep she pulled away from me." The sadness filled his throat.

"Why do you think you two drifted apart?" The doctor asked softly.

"Life got in the way. I was on a lot of missions and she worked with the military as a civilian contractor, but she still had to look after her people and their interests. Things got difficult between us about then."

"You two were caught between the sides?"

"Yeah, I guess. We never really argued about it, but we disagreed more. I had to defend the Military's decisions and she began to disagree with them and me more and more."

"How do you think she felt about that?"

"I think that might be why she began to pull back. She resented me for not taking her side. I think she thought I didn't really understand her."

"Do you?"

"I thought I did, but she became a woman I didn't recognise. Things changed so slowly and gradually I couldn't really tell you when it started. I was spending a lot of time on dangerous missions as well."

"How do you think she felt about that?"

"She was going out on the frontline missions as well, just not with me anymore. She understood what it meant and how important it was."

"Do you think that made it easier for her?"

"It wasn't easy for me either, Doc. She went off on her missions and I worried about her. Worried that she would be hurt and that I wasn't there to protect her back. Worried she'd be killed and I'd never see her again."

"Did you tell her that?"

"At the start of our marriage we shared that with each other and when we came back from missions we would hold each other all night." Memories flickered through his mind of the hot sweaty late night sessions and the long hours of holding her, stroking her skin and enjoying her breath against his bare chest. Good memories.

"Why do you think that changed?"

"Things got too complicated. We thought our love would protect us from all those difficulties. Maybe we stopped trying I guess." He studied his hands intently, looking for the injuries he still felt.

"You said you felt she rejected you as a husband. Did she say that to you?"

"No. Teyla would never say something so hurtful." He said with conviction and with pride. "She is a very strong and honourable woman."

"And that strong and honourable woman rejected you." Greesham replied.

John looked up at him with a frown, knowing the man was purposefully pushing him. He reluctantly nodded his agreement.

"Did you two ever discuss the problems in your marriage?"

"Kind of. Well, not really. It kind of drifted away and then I was captured. I guess we would have had one had I not been taken."

"But that would have been a discussion about the marriage's end. I mean did you ever talk about it before to try and stop it from falling apart?"

John tried to think, but couldn't really remember a clear time. He knew he had wanted to and had planned how to start the conversation, but something had always gotten in the way. "Things always got in the way, which I know sounds like a weak excuse, but we were living on a frontline base at the time. You wouldn't believe the universe's timing in that place!"

Greesham smiled like he actually understood what John meant and perhaps he did. "You said you are still currently married. You haven't entered into divorce proceedings?"

The thought was disturbing to John; least of all that he couldn't guess how you would go about getting a divorce from a woman in another galaxy. "No. I hadn't really thought about that. She is stationed very far away anyway."

Greesham lifted an eyebrow silently challenging him.

John rolled his eyes. "Okay, no. I don't want to do that…I planned to get away to the mountains for these six months and to get my head together before even thinking about that."

"You confessed several sessions ago that you didn't think you would ever return to your former station, perhaps even not returning to the military again."

"Maybe. I'd quite like to just become a pilot. Something quiet."

"Something isolated." Greesham added.

"I guess."

"Were you planning to divorce Teyla?"

In truth John had not even considered it. He thought it maybe because she was in another galaxy, but in truth he wondered if he would have even if he returned to Atlantis. "Not really."

"So you want to be separated, but not divorced?"

It sounded about right. "I suppose. Where she comes from the traditions are slightly different."

"They don't approve of divorce?"

"I don't know if they do or not. I never asked."

Greesham nodded and noted something down on his notepad. He knew John hated it when he did that, so he rarely made notes. John angled his head to try and see what he had written across the space between them.

"You said you have been thinking about Teyla lately. How have you been feeling towards her?" The Doctor asked as he looked up from his short notes.

"I began to dream about her again." He answered.

"Not nightmares?" Greesham asked with interest.

"No. They weren't really happy dreams, but no, I've been having less nightmares lately."

"And you've been dreaming of her instead?"

"Yes. Especially of that last night and day together."

"You dream of sleeping with her?"

"Sometimes. And of how we said goodbye in the motel car park. Sometimes it all mixes with old memories of when we used to work together."

"What do you mean?"

"When we used to go on missions together, protecting each other. Fighting against the darkness together."

"You dream of protecting each other?"

John nodded, feeling suddenly emotional. "I worry about her. She's not in the safest place and there are so many…. I hope someone is watching her back. And if something did happen to her; it may be a long time until someone gets around to letting me know." He confessed.

"You worry about her dying?"

"Yes. I miss knowing where she is and what she's up against. I've had some nightmares about her being hurt." Being swept up into a Wraith dart and then drained of her beautiful life.

"Is that all you think about her?"

"No. I have found myself wanting to share things with her. She would love the cabin and the local wildlife and the walks I go on."

"Do you want to be with her again?" Greesham asked, the question feeling very abrupt.

"I don't think that would be an option." He replied. She was living in another galaxy, on New Athos. Besides they had said their good byes. She had looked so sad when they had parted, but was that just because of their history? She had not said she wanted to get back together, but then he had been in a right state at the time. He had told her he needed time.

"I'm not asking if it's an option. I'm asking if _you_ _want_ to be with her again."

John played his feelings over, trying to be honest with himself. "I think if life were different I would." He imagined her in the cabin and a deep sense of longing filled into his heart. "I would love her to come here. Spend some time together and see if we could salvage our marriage. But, Doc, there is little or no chance of that happening. The situation is far more complicated than you can imagine."

Greesham made one quick note on his pad and looked back up at him. "Life getting in the way again." He paused as he made a few more notes. "In truth John, I'm interested in you finding balance and some happiness. If you have to let go of your wife to do that then that's fine, or maybe you would like to try and get back in contact with her again. That is up to you. Do you really believe she wouldn't want to see you again?"

"She would probably want to see me again, but I don't want to go back out to that front line again just yet, if ever." He looked back out to the mountains again. "I've been talking with my brother more, the last time he was talking about the woman he's seeing. I think they are going to get married soon. She's moving into the family house with Dave and it got me thinking about civilian life. I've always been in the military and I couldn't ever give up flying, but the idea of a settled life here somewhere, a family and without the constant fear that it will be destroyed at any moment….." He lapsed into silence the image so clear in his mind. He would love to live on a ranch again, own his own plane maybe. Maybe get to fly a chopper again. But, he missed the idea of never flying a Jumper again. He realised that in his ideal world; on that ranch, Teyla was there with him.

Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes, surprising him. He wiped them away.

Greesham gave him a moment. "You have been progressing so well, John. But, remember it has only been five months since you were released. It is completely understandable that you still feel you never want to return to the violent life of the Military, but there are other areas you could work for the Military. Maybe as a test pilot again, or in training new recruits. You don't need to decide anything yet. Things are still very fresh, and you need to give yourself a little more time. You have two more months, remember, until you have to make some sort of decision and in truth they would most likely be willing to extend that leave for you considering the circumstances."

John nodded. He had the cabin for another couple of months and after that he could always get a flat somewhere if he needed more time. The Doc was right; he didn't need to make this decision just yet. He still had time.

"What I would like you to do before our next session in two weeks is to think about how _you_ feel towards Teyla and your marriage. Maybe write down your memories of the good times you two shared. What it was that you enjoyed about your relationship together outside of work. And I would also like you to write a letter to her, you do not have to ever send it, but write to her about how you feel about what happened between you two and what you would like to happen in the future."

Greesham pulled away the top piece of paper from his notepad and handed it over to John. John took the notes the doctor had made and realised they were instructions for what he had just told him, not judgements or comments.

"Thanks Doc."

It had been a good session and as the mountains grew larger before John as he drove out of the city, he wondered if the fact that he had bought her that necklace said anything.

--

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

--

For the first month after she returned to New Athos Teyla worked harder than she ever had in her entire life. She cut down trees, built new tents, harvested like the winter would be rushing in tomorrow to destroy it all. She knew she was trying to stay busy, but that did not stop the need. She worked from when she opened her eyes at sunrise to when she all but collapsed into her bed at night.

The furious whirlwind she had become dimmed slightly by the second month, her energy fadied from the high demands she had been making on herself. So she took to taking long walks by herself, checking the new rope bridges, setting up look out huts on the edges of their new home and pushing out to explore further.

She lived in her own cocoon of emotion yet trying not to feel too much. She missed him like her heart was on fire. She dreamt of him every night, and her mind lingered on the memories of their last few days together. She had so enjoyed her time on Earth with him, despite the circumstances and his state. They had felt like a real married couple again; standing beside each other in the shops, at the funeral and lying beside each other at night. And it had opened up the memories of long ago; of when things had been so good between them. When they had laughed, shared and held each other.

Many times she considered returning to Earth to visit him, but it was unlikely they would let her loose on Earth alone. She had composed several letters to him, which remained shut away in her bedside table. In them she told him how much she loved him and missed him and how she hoped he was finding some peace again.

All these lost thoughts and feelings and the desperate need to pass the days with work or walking meant that it took her over two months to realise she was pregnant.

She had cried with joy when she realised. She had even been feeling rather sick in the mornings and hadn't realised the importance, so self centred on her emotions had she been. The camp's midwife confirmed the pregnancy for her and she had returned to her tent full of sudden purpose. John was going to be a father and he needed to know. They were going to have a child together. The midwife had warned her that she needed to take things carefully for another month to be sure, but Teyla already knew the child would be strong.

It gave her purpose and sudden justification to interrupt his self imposed isolation. She contacted Atlantis that afternoon and asked that a message be sent to John on Earth saying that she needed to speak to him. Rodney and Doctor Weir were full of curious unspoken questions, but she did not tell them or even hint at the reason why she needed to see him. She guessed they thought she missed him and wanted to see him. They were right, but now it was for so much more. She did not tell them the truth, as it was only fair that John be the first to know.

A month passed and she heard nothing back. Atlantis had undergone another attack from the Wraith, but had successfully defended herself, though the ZPM had been further drained. Consequently they were only contacting Earth every couple of weeks from now onwards. When they were able Doctor Weir sent her request through once again, and two weeks later came back the report that no one was sure where John was. They knew he had been planning to stay in the Rockies, but that was apparently a massive mountain range. They could not track down the friend of his that owned the cabin either. And besides the SGC had its own problems and daily trials that meant her innocuous request was not high up on their list of priorities.

Teyla had suggested that they may be able to locate him by his tracking beacon, but apparently there wasn't a space ship available and again it was not high up on their priorities. They reported that they would keep trying to locate him, but could not promise anything. They recommended that she may have to wait till his six month leave was up to speak with him.

That had angered her. She waited another couple of weeks after that last report, her pregnancy now at four months and her small bump was now visible to others. She had had enough. So knowing that Atlantis were planning to send their next report to Earth that day; she told her people she was leaving to find him herself if she had to. They all appeared very supportive, which had surprised her as many had not approved of her marriage originally. Maybe they had seen how sad and lonely she had been and her renewed determination now that she was with child.

She had dressed carefully to hide the small but obvious bump behind a large closed coat. Once she was told she was safe to walk through she stepped through the Stargate and into the familiar gate room. Doctor Weir was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. Teyla knew already that they had heard nothing from Earth by the expression on her face.

They embraced warmly.

"Teyla it is good to see you. You look very well." Elizabeth said.

"Thank you Elizabeth, as do you." Though in truth she looked tired, but that was normal for those living in Atlantis. Some things never change…and some things did. She found herself oddly happy that she fell into the later category as she followed Elizabeth up to her office.

"Rodney will be upset that he missed you. He is out on a mission with his new team."

Teyla couldn't help but smile. "He rejected the latest team then?"

"I think it was a mutual rejection." Elizabeth replied with a smile, but Teyla could tell that she was tired of dealing with the difficult Rodney and his team issues.

Rodney had continued to visit Teyla on New Athos several times a month if he could and she had been surprised and touched at his continuing efforts to keep in contact with her. She valued his friendship and felt a little guilty at not telling him about her pregnancy, but she worried he might not have been able to keep it a secret.

"We've heard from Ronon again." Elizabeth reported as they sat down. "His little army is not so little anymore. He made contact with a new race of people who have space capabilities so the army is now fully mobile."

"Really?" Teyla asked impressed. She felt so proud of Ronon and regretted once again losing contact with him.

"He asked me to send you his love and he gave me a rather massive hug to pass onto you."

Teyla couldn't help but laugh in delight at the image of the slim doctor receiving a rib cracking Ronon hug. She was so glad he had not forgotten about her.

"He said once this last mission is over he will make time to visit you."

Teyla nodded, pleased. "You have not heard anything from John." Teyla said, already knowing the answer.

"I'm afraid not, Teyla. The SGC have looked into it, but to be honest I think your request has simply gone through to the administration people now who can only do so much for you. We can send another message today if you wish with the bi weekly reports."

Teyla had suspected as much, but she could feel her friend's desire to help her. "Could you send me?" Teyla asked.

Elizabeth was obviously surprised at the suggestion and her eyes fell to the large bag sat on Teyla's lap, which Teyla was actually using to cover her stomach. "Send you?"

"If I am there in person then they can not ignore me so easily." Teyla explained with a soft smile.

Elizabeth tilted her head in acknowledgement. "I agree, but I'm not sure they would want me to send you through without prior permission."

"That could take until the next bi weekly report." Teyla replied. She sighed. "I am still technically John's wife; does that not make me partly a citizen of Earth?"

Elizabeth smiled in acknowledgment again. "That is how it works between countries on Earth, but I can't say that has ever been applied to this situation. But, then you and John have the first inter-galactic marriage." Teyla felt proud of that fact. "I suppose you could be right. But still I don't know how much you will manage to get done and you may be stuck on Earth for several weeks if the next report is late."

Teyla disregarded that concern with a wave of her hand, she was planning to stay on Earth until she found John and maybe longer if necessary. "That does not matter. I need to speak to him, see him if I can."

Elizabeth regarded her closely for several silent moments. "Teyla, I understand that things have been difficult between you two, but John wanted time alone. Maybe you could wait another two months?"

Teyla sighed and realised she was going to have to share her secret. She stood up, dropping her bag to the floor and opened her coat revealing her stomach. "I am carrying John's child, Elizabeth, and he does not know it."

The doctor's eyes dropped to Teyla's belly. "Teyla!" She looked up at her with wide eyes. A bright smile blossomed over her face as she stood, but so were the questions; was she happy to be pregnant? Teyla smiled at her in return, suddenly very happy to have told someone outside of her people. Elizabeth came around her desk and hugged Teyla again, with so much feeling that it surprised Teyla. "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Teyla whispered.

"We'll send you to Earth then." She said determined now for Teyla. "I will ask permission to send through some personnel that should work. But, you may have to argue your case on the other end."

"No problem." Teyla responded. There wasn't a single person on Earth who would get in her way to find John. She would not rest until she spoke to him, preferably see him. She only hoped that it didn't take until her child was born to find him.

"We are not scheduled to contact Earth for another three hours. Maybe you would like Carson to check you over, perhaps give you a scan?" Elizabeth suggested.

The thought was appealing to Teyla. She was sure the child was strong and had felt it moving very slightly last week. But, it would put her mind at ease to have Carson check her and she enjoyed the thought of including more of her friends in the news. And John would be happy to hear that she had seen Carson. "I think I will take you up on that offer."

"And maybe if there is time we could have lunch together before you leave?" Elizabeth asked.

"I would like that too."

--

A little over three hours later Teyla waited for the go-ahead to walk through the shimmering gate. Carson had given her permission to travel and had given her and her child a clean bill of health. He had even looked slightly tearful as he had handed over the tiny picture of the scan of her child.

Rodney had returned from his mission and had joined her and Elizabeth for the end of their lunch. He did seem a little upset to hear that she hadn't told him about her pregnancy. He had promised to keep it a secret now, but had asked if he could tell Ronon next time they spoke. She gave him permission and he brightened up. It had been a lovely meal and she had felt so welcomed by her friends that it brought back so many happy memories.

Those memories gave her the fuel and determination to step through to Earth and demand that she be able to see her husband. Rodney called down to her that the report had been sent and permission for her to walk through had been given by the SGC. She nodded up to them in farewell and stepped through the event horizon.

The dull metallic gate room of Earth appeared around her and the mechanically recycled air of the underground base met her nostrils. She prayed she was not going to have to remain in the SGC too long. She already missed the wide open spaces of New Athos.

The soldiers on duty looked surprised by her arrival and she looked up to see General Landry raise his eyebrows at her through the glass window. The gate shut down behind her and she felt a burst of confidence; she had made it here finally.

She was escorted up to the meeting room and this time she made no attempt to hide her stomach; she knew this would be the way to insist on her request. She pulled off her coat and laid it across the back of a chair as the General entered.

"Teyla. It is good to see you again." He offered his hand and as they shook hands his eyes fell to her belly. "I take it you are here to try and find your husband." His eyes were kind, and held a kindness she appreciated.

"Yes, I thought I could help locate him and hopefully visit him."

The General waved her over to a seat and sat down next to her. "Am I to take it that he needs to hear some rather pressing news?" His eyes dropped to her stomach again.

"Yes." She rubbed a hand over her belly. "I have been trying to get a message to him for over two months now and I thought my being here may help."

He nodded. "I see. Well, I can understand that you need to see him."

"And I am his wife." She pushed.

He nodded again, a light smile on his lips. She liked this leader of the SGC. "As I understand it we have tried to locate him, but no one knows where he is staying. He was recommended to see a psychologist every two weeks, but we can't locate him through them, as it would break doctor-patient confidentiality for them to even tell us he was a patient of theirs. He was supplied with a list of recommended doctors but we haven't been billed by that doctor yet and may not until his treatment is over. We ran out of options at that point."

"Has his brother heard from him?"

"He said he has spoken to Colonel Sheppard several times on the phone, but the Colonel always phoned him and they never spoke of exactly where he was staying. He apparently had to wait to be at a town large enough to phone. We told his brother that we had mail for the Colonel and were wondering where to send it. If it helps he subtly reported that the Colonel was doing better."

The news that John was in regular contact with his brother really pleased her and to also hear that he was better was hopeful. "Thank you." She said, knowing the General had not needed to tell her that information and that he had obviously looked into the issue for her.

The General looked thoughtful for a moment. "Doctor Weir said you suggested using his beacon signal to find him. We don't have a ship in orbit to do that, but I wonder if Doctor Lee may have another way to find him."

A flare of hope made her smile.

"I will speak to him, but first I would appreciate it if you were checked over by the Doctor here first."

"Doctor Beckett has just given me a full scan." She handed over the letter Carson had given her, predicting she would be delayed by such tests. The General took the letter with a nod.

"Very well. Let's go see what Doctor Lee is up to."

--

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

--

Doctor Lee managed to arrange some time on an Earth orbiting satellite to locate John's signal and after only an hour they had his location. After all her waiting and asking it had taken them only two hours on Earth to find him. Getting to him however was looking like more of a problem. The Earth powers-that-be, as John had often referred to them in private, appeared unwilling to let her out off the base, and even less happy about her not having an escort if they did.

So she had to spend the night in one of the bare cement walled rooms. At breakfast the next morning she was feeling a little down about her prospects of escaping the base. She was beginning to think that after all this work they weren't going to let her out to see him. How dare they not let her see her own husband!

Doctor Jackson, who she had met previously, had joined her whilst he had a early morning coffee. He was good company and seemed to understand her difficulties as his friend Teal'c had had similar problems leaving the base alone some years ago. But, it had been as she stood up and he saw her belly that things began to change. An hour later he had appeared at her door and told her that General O'Neill would like to talk to her.

Surprised and worried she took the phone call. The General welcomed her to Earth and asked how things were back on New Athos. They shared some small talk for several minutes before he asked her openly why she needed to see John. She told him that she was pregnant and that John did not know. She explained she only wanted to visit her husband and that she could actually be considered a citizen of Earth herself.

He seemed to appreciate her argument and gave her permission to leave the base. But she was to carry a phone with her and to check in once she reached him. He arranged a document called a passport for her and even travel arrangements to get to John. She almost cried as she thanked him. He told her congratulations and explained that he was a bit of a romantic at heart, but not to tell anyone else that.

Travelling by aircraft packed in with what felt like hundreds of other people had not been very enjoyable, but the flight had been relatively short. Once there she carried her bags of clothes and such supplied for her by the SGC to a waiting coach that would take her to the town nearest John's location. The SGC had found her some cold weather clothes and she was immensely grateful as she stood waiting in the falling snow. The several layers of tops, thick snow coat and heavy boots did not entirely keep out the cold as she waited in line for the coach, but she didn't let it bother her. She was on her way and she took the chance to study the Earth culture around her.

The coach trip took many hours as it stopped at various towns along its route, as it did the number of people on board gradually declined until she was only one of two people on the large vehicle. She could have slept, but the passing beauty of the landscape fascinated her. The excitement was making her nerves buzz, but as she got closer to him she had also begun to worry. She began to feel very nervous wondering how he would be and if he would be happy to see her. How would he react to hearing the news? Would he be happy to be a father? She hadn't really considered these questions with much depth until now, focusing solely on simply reaching him. Now, she knew she would see him by the end of the day and she was getting anxious.

The coach finally stopped in a small town almost plugged up with snow. She placed her bags down onto the snow covered sidewalk and pulled on her thick gloves. The place was tiny and the coach only ever visited it once a week. She had been fortunate to catch it this week. There was only one road to the town, which was lined with buildings that looked more like homes than store fronts. She carried her two bags down the left hand side, looking for the general store which she had been told was the best place to start to find out exactly where John lived and how to get there.

She found the store at the end of the buildings surrounded by boxes and stands of fishing and hunting items. This town was on the coach trip as it was part of a hunting route that drew in many people, but not as much at this time of year apparently. Teyla could see why John had liked the idea of hiding away up here; the landscape was barren, yet beautiful.

She pushed open the door and stepped into the warm room, packed full with shelves full of almost any item you could imagine, but her eyes fell to a familiar tub of crisps she had discovered on Earth before. Her stomach grumbled in response to the sight. She selected a tub and a new bottle of water and carried them to the counter. An aging gentleman appeared from the back room.

"Hello there, miss. That all you want?" He asked as he pressed the prices into a large till. The door opened behind her and another woman walked in carrying a large bag of what was possibly grain.

"Yes. Though I was wondering if you could help me find a friend of mine; John Sheppard?" She asked as politely as she could.

"John? Not sure if he's the same man as you might be looking for miss." There was the suspicion she had been warned about in small isolated towns.

She smiled as brightly as she could. "Tall, short dark hair that stands up…slight scar down the right side of his face." She offered.

The man appeared satisfied that she actually did know John, and she thought it had been the hair comment that had convinced him.

"You come in on the coach just now?" He asked as he took the pieces of paper they used on Earth for trading from her, eyeing her bags. She was once again pleased the thick layers of clothing and the coat covered her stomach, as she suspected the news that John had a female guest would be spread around the small community in no time, but that she was pregnant would have made it worse. She simply smiled in return.

"Yes. I know this is the closest town to his cabin, but I do not know exactly where he is or how to get there. Do you know someone who could help me, or a way to contact him?"

The man considered her for a moment. "We don't have any phones up here, love. Might be someone heading up that way, but I'm not sure."

"I could head up that way to deliver Mavis' supplies, James." The woman said from behind Teyla. Teyla turned to the strongly built woman with a smile.

"I've got her supplies ready at that." James replied.

"Would you be able to take me to John?" Teyla asked. She still wasn't entirely used to the varied way the people spoke on this planet.

"Sure. I'm Tessa. John's still got my spare snow chains and I could do with picking them up as well. I've got to make a few of my deliveries, but we could head out there in half an hour."

"That would be wonderful, thank you." Teyla responded as she removed the top of the crisp tub and began to munch on the food, her hunger kicking in, or perhaps it was the nerves again. "Maybe I could help you with your deliveries?" She offered.

"Wouldn't say no to a spare pair of hands." Tessa replied with a good natured smile.

--

The drive to John's cabin took about twenty minutes and Teyla passed as much of the time as she could trying not to get too nervous by asking Tessa about herself. It turned out Tessa was a blacksmith who lived in the town, but worked at another closer to the city. She supplied worked metal to all of the local towns, which was enough to keep her in food she reported. Her husband was a hunter who took tourists out for excursions into the forests in the summer and they had both lived in the area for most of their lives.

The area was magnificent to Teyla. She could see how it would be a good place to heal. The forests that they passed looked inviting and she hoped she would have the opportunity to wander through them. She had not spent anytime on Earth outside of a city and she longed to explore. And after spending the last day locked up in the SGC, on a plane or in a coach; she was missing having space around her.

Tessa turned the truck to the right at a fork, explaining they were almost at John's place. Teyla's heart rate jumped. They turned a final corner and a lovely cabin came into view in the distance. The road they travelled along was cleared of snow and passed a series of smaller buildings on the way to the front of the cabin's path. The closest was a simple building that looked like it was meant to house the large sturdy car parked behind it. The garage caught her eye especially because John was up on its roof repairing the lining. Tessa touched the car's horn as they approached, making John look round. He was wrapped up in a thick snow coat himself, but the hood was down revealing his face. He wore a thick close cut hat and very familiar sunglasses. He moved to the edge of the garage roof as Tessa pulled up beside it. She then rolled down the window, and leant out to talk to him. Unfortunately all Teyla could see of him was the bottom of his boots if she leant down far enough in her seat.

"You've got a visitor, John." Tessa said in greeting, her tone made it clear that she spoke to John regularly.

"You don't usually announce yourself that way, Tessa. Or are you so desperate for those spare snow chains?" His voice played over Teyla's nerve endings and warmed her. She had found him.

"Not me. You got a lady visitor."

"Really?" John said in surprise. Teyla tried to lean forward some more, but she still couldn't see any more of him than his boots. "I'll come down then." He said and his boots moved away.

Tessa rolled her truck forward until the end of the garage building came into view through her window. Teyla watched as John climbed down a ladder that was leant against the garage and turned towards the car, pulling his sunglasses off.

He leant down as he neared to see her through the car and his jaw dropped. "Teyla!"

"Hello John." She said, unable to keep the massive smile from her face. She had finally found him.

"How did you get here?" He asked as he stepped up to the car window.

"It took quite a lot of time and effort." She replied.

"I bet it did." He said with feeling. He seemed happy to see her though obviously very shocked.

"So I can set James' worries aside, that the young lady does in fact know you." Tessa teased him.

John looked away from Teyla to Tessa with a smile. "Yes, tell him I'm fine."

Tessa turned to Teyla. "James does worry. He's like the mother hen to the whole town and surrounding countryside. Not a bird falls out of a tree without James somehow hearing about it."

Teyla smiled but looked back at John quickly. He looked better and was smiling with Tessa. He was healing.

"I'll drive Teyla to your front door then, don't want to let her get all cold waiting for you to finish that garage roof." Tessa teased.

"It's getting done in its own time. I'll pull out those chains for you as well." He leant forward to make eye contact with Teyla again. "It should be nice and warm in the cabin."

She nodded and then Tessa moved the truck forwards heading towards the cabin. "So you two are _just_ friends, huh?" Tessa asked doubtfully.

"It's a long story." Teyla replied. As soon as the car stopped she pushed open the door and pulled her bags out of the back. She thanked Tessa and offered some money for the petrol, but Tessa waved away the offer. So she headed down the path to the cabin, climbed the wooden steps and pushed open the door. Inside it was as comfortable looking as it was from the outside. A large room set with a table and chairs to one side and a sofa on the other facing a glowing fireplace. The air smelt of wood smoke and the echoes of cooking food.

She placed her bags to one side and turned back round to step out onto the long porch that surrounded the cabin. John was loading the snow chains into Tessa's truck and talking with her. He moved well, that sense of vulnerability and wariness gone from his posture. He moved differently still, more contained, but he was obviously so much better than before. And it was so good to see him.

As she waited for him to finish talking to Tessa she wandered along the porch and took in the snowy landscape that surrounded the cabin. Behind her Tessa's car started up and Teyla watched as it headed back along the road away from the cabin. John was walking up the path back towards her and she smiled at him as he climbed up the steps to join her on the porch.

"It is so beautiful here, John. I can see why you wanted to stay here." She offered as he came to a rest beside her, looking out at the view with her.

"I thought you would appreciate it here." He smiled and turned to her. "I can't believe you're here." He said he's eyes studying her face.

"It took some time. I have been trying to get a message to you for two months." She told him, wanting to make it clear to him that she had been trying for some time.

He looked suddenly worried. "Has something happened?"

She saw his panic, and remembered back many months ago to when she had been told bad news. "No one has been hurt, John."

"Atlantis?" He asked, still worried.

"It was still standing when I left there two days ago." She smiled reassuringly.

"Good." He said, but his eyes were still cautious. "How are Rodney and Ronon?"

"Ronon is doing well according to Elizabeth and I saw Rodney before I left Atlantis. He's still having trouble settling into a new team." She smiled.

He nodded with understanding, his former concern lessened only slightly. "You're not sick are you?"

She shook her head slightly. "No, I'm not sick. But I have some news." The time was upon her and she was so very nervous, more nervous than she had ever been which meant a lot considering what she had faced in her life.

"Something has happened." He said warily.

"I tried to get a message to you as soon as I found out, but it has taken me this long to reach you."

He nodded, his eyes searching her face.

She took a breath. "I am pregnant, John."

The concern vanished, and shock replaced it. "What?" His eyes dropped to her lower half, but her stomach was obscured by her coat and multiple layers and she didn't want to open her coat when it was so cold out here.

He looked back up to her. "It is….?"

She wasn't sure what he was asking, then realised he was pointing to himself. "Yes, it is your child, John."

His eyes fell back down to her coat. "A baby." He muttered and fell silent.

"I wanted to tell you as soon as I could, and I did not think you would want to wait until your six month leave was complete. And I was not sure if I would ever see you again." She heard the emotion in her voice, felt it clogging her throat suddenly.

He looked back up his wide eyes blinking rapidly. "No, I'm glad you found me. I would want to know."

"I know you wanted to be here by yourself to recover and to think. I can go back if you do not want me here."

"You want to go back?" He asked, his stunned expression shifting back into wariness.

She looked up at him and suddenly so wanted to be held by him. She had fought and longed to tell him, but had not realised how much she had needed him to know. To have his support and she wanted him to touch her; to make her feel supported and wanted. The desire to step into his arms was so strong she had to clench her fists by her sides to stop herself. "I missed you." She found herself admitting into the silence between them.

His expression softened slightly at that. "I missed you too." His eyes slid over her face for a moment, focused briefly on her lips and he abruptly looked away. "We should get you inside where it's warm." He stepped away, leading her back towards the front door.

She followed and stepped the through the door that he held open for her. The room was welcomingly warm and she looked around at the space again. John shut the door behind them and flicked on the lights, which brightened the room even more.

"This place is lovely." She remarked as she pulled off her gloves and pulled her feet out of her boots finally.

"You wait till you see the view from the back windows." He said lightly as he took her gloves from her hand and placed them on a small shelf alongside his which was set above a small radiator. She tucked her boots on the mat by the door and undid her coat. She hung it up and turned to him, to find his eyes back down on her stomach. Though she still wore several layers, the curved shape of her lower belly could be seen.

He realised he was staring and looked down and away. "You need something to cover your feet in here; the floors can be pretty cold at night. You can borrow a pair of my thick socks if you want. We can pick up some slippers from town for you tomorrow."

She looked down at her thinly socked feet. "Thank you."

With one last stare at her stomach he reached down and picked up her bags. "I'll show you to the spare bedroom." He said as he walked quickly away. She tried not to feel too rejected by that; after all he had only just found out he was to be a father and they hadn't seen each other for months.

She quietly followed him through the lounge area and into a short corridor that lead to a small kitchen first on the right, past a door on the left which he pointed out as the bathroom. Then there were two doors at the end of the corridor. He led her into the right hand one into what would be her bedroom. As she passed the closed door to the left of the corridor, she realised that was his bedroom, where he slept and she would not.

She stepped into the tastefully decorated spare bedroom and her eyes were immediately drawn to the massive window that took up most of the left wall that was the back wall of the cabin as a whole. She gasped at the majestic view of the sloping snowfields that spread out behind the cabin. Forests lined both sides and the mountains towered over it all. She wandered over to the window as John placed her bags down on her bed.

She touched the cool glass with her fingertips and studied the details of the view. John left the room briefly and then reappeared beside her. She turned to see him holding out some thick green socks.

"Thank you." She took them and moved backwards to sit down onto the comfortable bed and began to pull them on over her socks.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

She smiled up at him. "I am always hungry now."

He smiled in comprehension at that.

"I ate mostly snack food on the journey." She reported. "The food on the plane was not enough and not that enjoyable."

"Not as nice as travelling by Jumper is it." He commented.

She made a face. "No. I have to say I really did not care for the plane travel or the coach."

"You should try a chopper some time if you ever get the chance. I always enjoyed flying them the most." He said as he stood rather awkwardly before her with his hands tucked into his hip pockets. "I was going to cook some burgers for dinner."

She knew her eyes lit up at that and he smiled down at her. "I would enjoy that. Do you have those bread rolls and some salad as well?" Her mouth was watering already.

"I think I can manage that." He replied.

Socks in place she stood, her feet noticeably warmer. He was looking at her stomach again before he looked up at her face self consciously. Another long silent pause filled the air, filled with tension and too many memories.

"Is it alright that I am here?" She asked him.

He smiled lightly, breaking out of his stunned expression somewhat. "It's nice to have you here. I'm just a little surprised."

"I am sorry to deliver such news without giving you much warning."

"I don't think there's really a way to prepare a guy to hear that this kind of news, Teyla." He responded.

She felt rather awkward standing there, aware that she had totally changed his life in the last five minutes. He had enough to deal with already. "Do you regret it?" She asked softly, not sure she really wanted to hear his answer.

His eyes slid down her once again and she had the urge to lift her top so he could better see, as he obviously wanted to. He frowned lightly and looked back up to her worried eyes. "No."

Relief poured through her and she felt herself relax further though she hadn't realised she had been so tense. She closed her eyes against the emotion. So much had happened and she felt suddenly very tired.

"Let's go eat." He said. She opened her eyes to see him smile at her once more and he turned and left the room, his eyes still rather wide with his new knowledge.

She had focused so hard on getting to him and telling him, that she had not realised what she would need to do and address once all that was over. They still had all the same issues from before and there was still his own healing to complete. She looked round to the vast expanse of snow outside. If there was anywhere where she and John could reconnect and finally talk about what had happened then this was the place.

She took a deep breath and headed out towards the kitchen after her husband.

--

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning:** This is a slower paced fic, with a lot of dialogue and introspection. Sometimes the most significant moments in your life can occur shared over a cup of tea (yes, I am British), talking at a bus stop or sitting by yourself and thinking about what you really want in life. To this fact this fic is dedicated. (You are forewarned.) AU

--

The dark room spun around him, the laughter oddly distant tonight. Snow was falling around him gradually filling up the tiny isolation room around him, but everything was still so dark. He fumbled forward seeking the wall, feeling its suppressive presence close by but unable to find it with his outstretched hands.

Rough hands grabbed him, pulling him away from the wall he longed to touch. Fingernails biting into the stone floor he was pulled out of the small room by his right leg. He grabbed at the floor paving beneath him as he was dragged away. Snow lined the corridor around him, stones cut into his stomach and pieces of rotten meat stained his clothes as he was dragged towards that communal cell once again. He knew once in there they would set upon him, tearing at him, the sensations of what was to come already haunting through is body. He didn't want to go in there. The loneliness and emptiness of the isolation cell had been preferable to this madness. In there he could hide at least, as suffocating as it was in there.

Behind him he heard the cell door slam open, heard the jeers and taunts. Some were cursing him, others begging to hurt him. All became a cacophony of evil sounds, getting closer and louder.

He sat up in bed panting, the room black around him. His eyes fell to the shadows as they did every night when he woke from a nightmare; looking for danger. The shadows had moved subtly across his room over the months, so nothing ever looked the same from week to week. He assessed them all now, his mind still struggling to let go of the dreams and focus on the knowledge that he was safe.

Eventually satisfied that nothing was about to leap out of darkness and claw at him, he tossed aside the covers and lifted his sweaty body from his sheets. Taking calming breaths he softly made his way to the door and stepped out into the hallway to go splash cold water on his face. He paused and looked down the corridor towards the other bedroom door.

He knew she had been here and that it wasn't part of his dream. He was certain that it had happened but, that nervous part of him that was still shaky from the nightmare made him doubt himself in the empty silence of the night.

The spare room door was slightly open and he edged quietly towards it. She was here and had told him their news, but he needed to be absolutely sure he had not fantasised it all up. That it hadn't been some new cruel form of nightmare. What would he do if it wasn't true?

He reached the door, pushed it lightly with his fingertips and it swung noiselessly open. He didn't want to disturb her, or frighten her by watching her sleep, but he had to be sure.

Her shape in the bed made him sigh in relief, his body physically sagging away from its former tension. She really was here. Her loose, slightly longer hair was spread over the pillow on which her cheek rested. He could just make out her features through the dim moonlight shining in through her window. She was so beautiful.

As he had so frequently today and hopefully not having annoyed her too much, he looked down at her stomach. It was obscured by the heavy blankets covering her, but it did not stop him from studying her, seeking out the new shape of her belly. His child was growing in there; their child. A deep sense of satisfaction filled him and for the first time in a very long time he felt something close to happiness. Teyla and his child were here. He wasn't alone any more.

He stepped slowly out of the room, drawing the door closed behind him. That she had not woken said much about her tiredness. She had gone to bed last night barely an hour after her dinner, the weariness clear on her face. She had travelled a long uncomfortable journey to reach him and in her condition it had drained her. She slept now in a deep truly relaxed sleep that he envied.

--

John watched the sunrise in complete silence, unmoving. He had spent the rest of the night in front of the TV napping lightly. Once the light had begun to increase he had pulled on thick warm clothes and headed out to sit on the porch with a hot drink to watch the sun rise. The drink sat untouched as he watched the world in front of him.

Various creatures stirred and emerged from the forest line at various points, all undisturbed by his still observation. He watched it all with detached interest, for his mind lingered elsewhere. He thought of his brother and his new lady, of the old family homes he had felt so trapped in growing up. That life had so much appeal now. A life where there would be no more nightmares waiting to be added to the already full mix. A life where he could raise a family, be loved and cherish it all.

He had never really wanted anything like that before; instead looking for action, the thrills from sports and the opportunity to work hard and to fly. Now he realised that perhaps he did want more than that. His years in Atlantis had woken something new in him; the desire to have good friends and family around him. There he had found connections with people that he now missed and considered his family. There he had found Teyla and fallen in love. And it had all scared him to death. For now he truly had things to lose that mattered to him, people to reject him again and deaths he may never recover from.

Then there were the horrors of what he saw and experienced in the Pegasus galaxy, what the people there had to live with, it had frightened him more than he had realised. He remembered in the early days of their marriage Teyla had shared stories with him about how her family had all been gradually taken by the Wraith. To hear such a strong woman whom he loved, talk with such fear; it had hurt him. Scared him. And to watch her go out on missions had been torturous and that she went without him. It had gotten too much. And he realised now that all that had played a significant part in why he had pulled back from her, and why he had let her pull back from him. They could have dealt with the difficulties of politics if they had tried he was sure, their love had been strong enough against that in the beginning. But, somewhere along the way he had stopped trying to keep it alive, to use it as a shield against the difficulties and horrors of two galaxies. He had let the fear win.

Now she was here. All the pain and suffering in the past between them and his own personal nightmare of imprisonment and torture felt very alien and distant from this place. He had come up to this cabin to get away from all that as best he could and it had helped. Now it was the two of them together again, just them and no one else for miles. That seemed to calm that place within him that had been so frightened for her and so angry about what they had lost with each other. A part of him he had thought lost slid back into place and he knew she had helped with that. He had a form of purpose again; to become a father. Suddenly there was more to life besides nightmares and his failed marriage. All of which had felt so overwhelming he had struggled to find direction. Now, he had an opportunity to change his life and he was finally ready to face the subject of his future.

With that resolve he stood carrying his cold mug back into the cabin. The place was still silent meaning she had not woken yet. He set about tidying the place up and began to inventory what little he had in the kitchen cupboards. Before he hadn't really cared what he ate as long as it filled him and was vaguely nutritious. Now, he had a pregnant hungry wife to feed. He noted down a list on a pad of things they should get to stock up the kitchen. If a snow front hit he would want there to be enough food for her. And judging by the amount she put away last night, he would need to fill the cupboards. The thought made him smile and he found himself thinking about Rodney. Teyla had told him about his friend's latest exploits that she knew and how he still hadn't gelled with a new team. John found that he really missed him and considered whether he should write to him. Or maybe send him a gag gift of some kind.

He heard her door open down the corridor, so he stuck his head out of the kitchen and watched as she trod slowly towards the bathroom door, her eyes sleepy and her hair all messy around her head. He had forgotten how nice she looked first thing in the morning, so soft and sleepy.

"Mornin'" He greeted her.

She blinked up at him and gave him a lovely soft smile. "Morning."

"You want some breakfast?" He asked.

That seemed to brighten her eyes slightly. "Please." She replied as she wiped her eyes tiredly.

"I've got porridge." He offered, remembering how much she had enjoyed it as a breakfast.

"A large bowl, please." She replied as she opened the bathroom door.

"No problem." He mused as she disappeared into the bathroom.

By the time she had gone back to her room and returned fully dressed he had the breakfast bar set for her in the kitchen, poured her warm porridge into a bowl and set it down in front of her. She looked up at him with much brighter eyes, fully awake and looking very thankful for her meal. He placed a jar of honey down next to her and set about cleaning up as she began to eat.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked.

"I did. That is a very comfortable bed." She said as she attacked her food.

"Do you want some tea or something? I know there's some things you can't drink when you're pregnant, but I've got some juice and Colin left some strange herbal teas in the cupboard. Only one of them says not to drink it if pregnant." He reported pulling out the brightly coloured box of tea and showing it to her.

"I would love just some hot water, please." She replied but still reached out and took the box from him. She studied the box in the way she did everything from Earth. It was obvious she was just as interested in the manufacture of the box and the designs on it as she was on the text. It was so refreshing to be reminded of the joy of everyday things. For her people you made your own tea, not had someone package it for you months ago and make a brightly coloured box for it to live in. He set a mug of freshly boiled water by her bowl.

"I was thinking if you felt up to it we could drive into the nearest city. We need to pick up some food, a lot of food." He teased as he watched the porridge disappear with great gusto. She smiled up at him a little sheepishly and he found himself properly smiling at her. Humour had not been a big part of his life for a while and he found its return to be very pleasing.

"I would like that." She replied.

"We can get you some more clothes and anything else you need. I've got a deal with a dvd rental store there where they let me take out a load of dvds at a time and keep them for two weeks. We could pick some up. Maybe get you some hiking boots if you want to go walking." He suggested.

She smiled and looked towards the nearest window. "The forests here are wonderful. When Tessa drove me here we passed through some beautiful scenery."

He smiled again, so pleased that she enjoyed it here and that she was confirming what he had thought before. "There are some great walks, though they might be a bit long for you at the moment."

She gave him a raised eyebrow and he held up his hands. "Or not."

She smiled as she finished her breakfast. "I need to call into the SGC to let them know I found you."

"They gave you a phone?" He asked knowing that was what he would have done.

"Yes, but there is no signal here. You should also know they contacted your brother to ask where you were."

John nodded. "He said something about there being some mail for me, but I didn't really think it was important."

"They didn't want to worry him or you. And they did not know then why I wanted to talk to you."

"I take it they do now?" John asked imaging the pregnant Teyla kicking up a storm in the SGC.

"General Landry and Dr Lee were most helpful. But, it was Dr Jackson and then finally General O'Neill who really made it possible for me to get to you."

John felt touched and a little embarrassed that these people had gone out of their way to help him and Teyla. "Did they restrict how long you could stay?" He asked worried again.

"No. I pointed out several times that as your wife I am partly a citizen of Earth."

He laughed briefly with pleasure at that and nodded. "Yes, you are. Does that mean I'm an Athosian citizen as well?"

She nodded regally. "Yes, if you wish to be."

He nodded. The subject of their marriage was out in the open again and he wasn't sure whether to dance around it some more or to talk about it now. He knew that many of the Athosians had not been too happy when their leader had married an outsider and a man who was from another galaxy and had been partly responsible for waking the Wraith.

"The SGC also gave me some money and a credit card, so I can buy the food if you want." She said as she stood and carried her empty bowl and mug to the sink. He moved to wash them up for her, but she waved him away gently.

He leant against the worktop. "They gave you a credit card? Not sure they're wise to let you loose with one with your appetite at the moment. And I seem to remember you enjoying that last shopping trip a little too much."

She laughed lightly at that as she wiped her hands on a towel and they smiled at each other in silence for a moment. It really was nice to have her here, though slightly uncomfortable. "Shall we get going? Then we'll get there for lunch." He suggested.

--

The bookstore was packed practically floor to ceiling and John wandered through the bursting shelves. Teyla was busy peering at the strange content of women's magazines, so he went off to find some new reading material. He loved this massive store and regularly came in here on his trips to see Doc Greesham. On those days he would stock up on reading, dvds and a head full of psychology and head home. Today he was here to just shop. It was nice not to have any appointments to go to, that he and Teyla could wander through the shops in their own time.

He had refused to let her carry the growing number of shopping bags, having left her several times in clothes stores whilst he took all the bags back to his four wheel sturdy car, which now had the added benefit of loads of space for bags and the food they would pick up on their way out of the city later.

Hiking boots, warm clothes, dvds and toiletries purchased he had led her into the book store. She had apparently never been in one before and had wandered around with her eyes wide, trying to look at every book on every shelf. He left her to browse and headed out amidst the shelves. A helpful shop assistant directed him now towards the books on pregnancy and she recommended the top titles for Teyla. He flicked through them and added the best looking three into the basket for Teyla to look through. He picked up another book that caught his eye, one on fatherhood. It looked good and was written by a guy for guys. It went through all the weeks of pregnancy with diagrams showing how the baby was growing, how mom might be feeling and lists of suggestions on how to help and importantly what not to say. He chuckled at that part and decided to buy it for himself.

Looking up from his filling basket a familiar face caught his eye; Doctor Greesham. He noticed John at the same time and once John smiled he smiled back.

"Doc." John walked towards him tossing the fatherhood book into his basket with the others.

"John. It's a surprise to see you in the city this week." He said as they shook hands.

"Some stuff came up. A lot has changed." John found himself admitting.

Greesham looked interested. "Oh? Everything alright?"

"Teyla's here." John told him, apparently unable to stop himself from sharing.

"Really?" Greesham asked obviously surprised. His eyes then dropped to John's basket filled with pregnancy books.

"And pregnant." John added. Greesham looked back up, his eyes searching John's looking to see how he was feeling about the news. "It's mine." John told him with a small smile. It felt nice to tell someone. The first person.

Greesham smiled finally. "Congratulations, John."

"Thanks. She only got in yesterday."

"And she told you then?"

"Yep. She's been trying to get a message to me for two months." His mouth appeared to be running away by itself in the middle of a bookshop.

"You doing okay?" The Doctor asked subtly.

John considered the question, aware of the people in the store. "It's gonna take some getting used to and having her around is nice but….it'll be okay."

Greesham nodded again. "Well, if you want I can always see you and Teyla together next week, or for half of your session, if you would like some help to talk about things."

John considered the offer of couple's therapy. "I'll think about it. See what Teyla thinks."

"Only if you're both happy to." He replied kindly.

John shifted and in the distance he saw Teyla still standing at the magazine stand. "Would you like to meet her?" He asked, suddenly wanting Greesham to meet her.

The Doctor smiled turning in the direction that John was looking. "I would love to."

They walked through the shelves, making small talk about the weather and the possible snow storm predicted later in the month. As they neared, Teyla looked round having heard John's voice. He felt a burst of pride as he smiled at her.

"Teyla, this is Doctor Greesham." He indicated the tall distinguished man. "Doc this is Teyla."

John watched the twitch of Gresham's eyebrows as he saw Teyla, John was used to men's reactions to his beautiful wife when they met her. She was especially beautiful today, and he wondered if it was true that pregnant women glowed. She was certainly glowing as far as he was concerned. But, maybe that was because he hadn't seen her for a long time.

"It is lovely to meet you, Teyla." Greesham took her hand very formally and John thought he was going to bow over her fingers.

"It is nice to meet you too, Doctor." She smiled up at him.

"I hear congratulations are in order." He offered as he released her hand.

Teyla smiled again and shared a quick look with John. "Thank you."

"Doctor Greesham has been really helpful to me these past months." John told her and knew she understood what he meant. She nodded in understanding and looked back at the Doctor.

"Then thank you again." She said with meaning.

"Well, I hope you enjoy your day in the city. Maybe I will see you around again." Greesham offered.

"It was really nice to meet you, Doctor Greesham." She smiled warmly up at him.

Greesham turned back to John. "I'll see you next week and let's hope that storm front doesn't hit us any time soon."

"See you Doc." John replied and watched as he turned and disappeared back into the shelves.

"He seems very nice." Teyla remarked.

John looked down at the books tucked in her arm and a magazine she had been looking through. "You found the trashy women's mags then?"

She smiled down at the magazine. "I can not believe everything that is printed in these."

He smiled and turned to look at the magazines himself. "You might as well grab a few to read back in the cabin. There's some pregnancy ones here as well. I found some books as well. See if you want them." He offered her the basket and she pulled out the books with obvious interest. He knew she must have seen the fatherhood one as well. He was serious about becoming a dad. She added her novels and a couple of magazines to the full basket and then turned her attention to flicking through the pages of the pregnancy books. John added the pregnancy magazines to the basket and picked up some sports ones for him.

She decided on two of the books and returned them to the basket. "I did not know there was so much information available on pregnancy."

"You can find books on pretty much anything. Sports, history, self help, languages, even sex books." He told her with a look over his shoulder as he led her to the check out counter. She smirked in return.

They stood in the line together. Beside them in another queue stood a younger couple, their hands intertwined and were looking longing at each other. John found himself watching them out the corner of his eyes. They were making quite a show giggling and whispering together and giving each other little kisses. It was enough to turn everyone's stomach that stood near them. But, John found himself watching the display of emotion with what he realised was envy. He missed that connection with Teyla. His own sex drive had been pretty much absent for many months and he found himself wondering now if he would ever regain that level of intimacy with Teyla again. The couple near them were young and obviously in the beginning of their relationship with each other and he could remember back to when he and Teyla had been so in love and lust.

The night in which he and Teyla had unknowingly conceived their child had remained in his mind these past months. Nights before his capture had been empty of passion, only full of sorrow and rejection. He wondered if she really thought about those times with as much regret as he did.

He looked round to find Teyla looking up at him and for a moment he thought he saw a flicker of longing in her eyes. He wondered if he had imagined it, projecting onto her his own rediscovered feelings. She looked away, her eyes sliding to the happy couple briefly as he watched her.

His beautiful wife. He had once known every part of her body; free to touch and kiss as he wished and she had touched him in return. Sharp sudden memories of what her hands had felt like on him stirred a long quiet desire and he looked away from her to stop it.

He knew they were not going to be able to avoid talking about their problems for very long. Maybe he should start the conversation soon, knowing that Doc Greesham would have advised it. He needed to address the problems, not avoid them. For that was what had been the problem before. It was time to start communicating with Teyla again and pray that she didn't say things he didn't want to hear. But, even then; at least he would know.

--

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

--

A gentle pressure on her arm woke her.

"Teyla? We're back." John said softly.

She stirred from her position tucked up against the car door. Outside the windscreen the cabin stood tall and dark in the moonlight; she had slept most of the way from the city. Blinking fully awake she undid her seatbelt and opened her door.

"Why don't you go in and start the fire, I'll bring in the bags." John offered.

Teyla appreciated his concern, but took the time to gather up as many of the clothes store bags as she could to help and then turned to the cabin. The air was cool on her cheeks, yet fresh and enlivening as she made her way up the path. Her mind was clearing from its sleepiness again. Her travelling yesterday and a long day of shopping and discovering new things had tired her. She also wondered whether the emotional intensity of all that had happened had made her even more tired. But then she felt as if she hadn't really rested properly in a long time, and last night, though a comfortable nights sleep, had not filled that lingering need for deep rest.

She opened the front door, and pushed into the dark cool cabin. By the time she had placed all the clothes bags in her room and used the bathroom, John had already carried in the rest of their things. She found him unpacking the food items in the kitchen. After setting the fire going in the lounge fireplace she slid into the kitchen alongside him and began to help unpack and stock the cupboards. He pointed out the large larder and which cupboards were free, which was most of them. She wondered if he had been taking good enough care of himself living alone.

They worked in silence for a while. It was strange to be around John when he wasn't talking. He used to always be talking or joking about something. Now he was either happy enough, or unwilling to talk, not to fill these silences. She felt his eyes on her regularly. The tension between them of what was going unsaid filling the air, making her feel slightly suffocated in the small kitchen.

"Thank you for today." She said trying to break the atmosphere that was building.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, though it tired you out." He replied as he stacked packets into the highest cupboard.

"I am fine." She said.

"You always say that." He replied and she detected a sharp edge to the comment.

"I usually am fine." She clarified as she turned and began stacking all the different types of canned foods into the larder.

"You used to say you were fine when we hardly talked." He said. "You weren't fine though."

She regretted the hurt she heard underpinning his words. "I am fine now."

He turned to look at her as he continued to arrange boxes in the top shelves. "You slept for over two hours on the way back." She guessed his concern laid in the fact that she was pregnant and he was worried about her, but she couldn't help feeling like he was annoyed with her.

"I have been doing a lot lately. Not just travelling, but keeping busy on New Athos." She admitted as she gathered the fruit tins and turned to stack them in the larder, organising them into their different fruits.

"Keeping busy to help deal with the pregnancy?" He asked. She turned, surprised at his directness and his point.

"No. I was trying to keep busy since you left." She collected up more fruit tins into her arms from the store's boxes. "To distract myself." She confessed.

After a long quiet beat he asked "Did it work?"

She piled the cans up in her arms and turned with them to the larder, arranging them so their labels all faced forward on the larder shelf. "No. I missed you too much." She obsessively arranged the cans, lining all the labels up precisely so she wouldn't have to look round at him just yet. Finally she did and as she expected he was regarding her thoughtfully.

"You made it clear before that you didn't want to be married any more."

She frowned up at him. "I never said that."

He looked away briefly annoyed. "No we never said anything to each other, but you made it clear you didn't want me anymore."

She was shocked to hear him speak like that. "I…I never said that. I realised that I missed you and regretted the distance between us."

"Once you thought I was dead." He replied bitterly.

"I admit that your disappearance made me address my feelings. Feelings I had ignored and repressed. You were distant as well, John. I am not totally to blame for what happened." She pushed.

He considered her words for a moment. "I know that. But, you pulled away first."

That was not entirely how she remembered events. "You were not interested in my work for my people. You did not really want to get involved in anything to do with them, and you never supported me in my arguments with the IOA."

"I did at first. But…you were more interested in their needs than ours, or Atlantis'. Any discussion about politics and you would get all angry about it. I thought it best to keep out of it all."

"You started going on more missions. I saw you less and less. You never talked to me anymore. Not since…." She stopped unwilling to dredge up distressing memories for him.

"Since what?" He asked curious.

"You stopped talking openly with me after you were infected with the retrovirus." She told him.

He pulled back slightly, obviously surprised by what she had said and she saw the echo of the old pain there. He looked back to the half emptied boxes and bags around the kitchen. "I almost lost it as that bug creature. I didn't want you to have to relive any of that."

"You were not yourself when that happened, John." She reminded him.

"I almost killed several people and almost….forced myself on you." He said very quietly.

"You stopped yourself, John. You never would have hurt me and I would have stopped you if you had." She insisted.

Something painfully close to shame crossed his face.

"You stopped sharing with me after that." She continued, trying to pull the conversation away from more of his distressing memories. "I felt cut off emotionally from you."

"And you pulled away from me." He said back. "You never wanted to touch me, Teyla. You'd used to pull away from me in bed, not wanting to even brush up against me."

His pain was obvious in his voice and in the anger in his face. She felt shameful now at her behaviour. "I thought you did not honour who I was and what was important to me."

"Your people." He added. "Your people are more important to you than I am."

"I have just left my people to come here now." She insisted.

"Because of the baby, not because you really love _me_."

"I do love you. I've missed you so much it hurts." She felt the tears in her eyes. "I used to lie awake at night as well. You would never touch me either, never ask how I was. I felt lonely and unloved."

She turned back to the larder, trying to control her tears. Carson had said she may be more emotional during her pregnancy, but all these tears were too much. She took a deep breath and felt him edge closer.

"I told you I still loved you." He said softly.

"But that never changed anything did it? You still left me in that motel car park." She said turning back to him slightly more composed. "If I was not carrying your child, would I ever have seen you again?"

He stood closer now, his teeth worrying on his lower lip. "I have been thinking about you a lot recently." He said. "I don't think I can go back to Atlantis again. I thought you would never want to leave your people."

"I am here now." She reminded him.

His eyes dropped to her belly. "Because of the baby."

"I thought of coming here before I knew I was pregnant. But you made it clear you wanted time alone and I was not sure you wanted to be with me anymore."

He sighed and looked away shaking his head slightly. "What a mess." He said with a touch of amusement.

She watched him as he thought, seeing the dark circles under his eyes and the vague confusion in his eyes. "Do you want our marriage to end?" She asked the question she had so feared asking for so long.

He looked at her again. "No, Teyla. I've never wanted our marriage to end."

A wave of relief swept through her so intense that she felt lightheaded for a moment. "Neither do I." She said. She reached out to touch his arm, but he shifted back slightly and she dropped her hand back down to her side.

"I'm not sure…" He looked away. "I'm not sure how things can be between us now." His gaze slid back to hers. "But I'd like you to stay here if you want."

She smiled trying not to feel disappointed; this was more than she had hoped for. "I would like to stay."

He nodded, his eyes softer now, as if some tension inside had relaxed. "Let's just see how things go, okay?"

She nodded, trying not to cry again. "Okay."

"Okay." He repeated and she thought he wanted to hug her for a moment, but he turned back to the unpacking.

She turned back to the larder and took a moment to gather herself together, shifting the cans around as she did. For the first time they had talked about what had happened, though they hadn't really resolved anything between them. But, he had said he didn't want the marriage to end and she silently thanked the universe for that. They had hurt each other and drifted apart, but at the heart of it all they both still wanted to try for their marriage. It was the best she could ask for and more than she had hoped from him at present.

--

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

--

John pushed open the general store's door for Teyla and she brushed lightly past him to enter the small packed store. At the far end James met John's gaze with a nod and returned to his conversation with a customer. John pulled the small list he had made out of his pocket and reminded himself of all the little things he needed to buy. Teyla moved away, heading down one aisle looking at the various goods on display. John watched her walk away, distracted for a moment by her swaying hips revealed from under her new shorter coat.

After only four days here she was acclimatising to the cold snowy weather, having come from a long hot summer on New Athos. She had also caught up on her sleep after several days of early nights and late morning lie-ins. The darker areas under her eyes had lessened and her eyes were brighter. That her gaze had also lost that cautious assessing edge to them also helped. She had begun to relax more and he found himself once again relaxing in her presence. It was nice to have company and they had lapsed into a routine of sorts these past days. They did the cabin chores together, made lunch, went for a walk and then sat reading or watching a movie in the evening. He enjoyed it, but he was still slightly uneasy. They spent most of the day in silence, or in idle chat. So much was still unsaid and up in the air, but at least they had talked and both decided to work at the marriage. How they were going to go about that was still a bit of a mystery to him, but he didn't want to bring that up yet and upset their new found truce. He was due to see Dr Greesham in a days time and was considering whether he should mention to Teyla the Doctor's offer of couple's counselling. They could try one session maybe, see how it went.

He turned his eyes from her now and made his way into an opposite aisle to collect up the hardware items he needed for the cabin. Once he had gathered what he needed he made his way to the counter, where James was once again free.

"Nice, to see you again, John." James greeted him.

"Hey, James." John placed his items down on the counter. "How's things?"

"Good. Good." James' eyes slid away across the store. John followed his gaze, but knew what he would see; Teyla. She was currently talking with Tim the local Vet. "See your lady friend is still staying with you." James remarked.

"Actually she's my wife." John found himself saying, not that he had been planning to keep it a secret, but it felt suddenly very important to make it clear to James who she was.

James turned back to him. "Really? Well it is very nice to have her here then." He smiled. "I seem to recall you mentioning a wife before."

John nodded. "She's been abroad working for these past months." He told him, using the cover story he and Teyla had decided on in preparation of the local people's questions.

"You must be very happy to have her back here then." James replied, his attitude changing from vague nosiness to honest interest.

"Yep." John nodded as he pulled out his wallet, silently reminding James that he was here to buy the items on the counter. James took the hint and began to add them into the ancient till; as he did he began a long diatribe about the last married couple that had stayed in the town. John nodded politely as he could. He liked James, but the afternoon was growing late and a far breeze had begun to pick up as they had pulled into the town. He wanted to get Teyla back to the cabin before it got dark and in case a heavy snow fall hit.

Then across the store came tinkling light feminine laughter. His head snapped round at the long forgotten sound of his wife's happy laugh. It had been so long since he had heard that sound and it fascinated him in its return. That fascination was quickly pushed aside as John watched Tim leaning subtly closer to Teyla, his eyes bright with what John recognised as 'Teyla infatuation'.

He left James at the counter tallying up his items and headed towards them. Tim was a nice guy, too nice John realised. He was tall, rugged and obviously handsome. John had heard that he was very popular with the ladies, and had one of those charming personalities that gave him wonderful grace through life. Up until now John had liked Tim, now however those feelings were currently shifting.

Teyla laughed lightly again as John made his way to them. Tim was apparently telling her an amusing story about a family's pet dog and a rabbit that Teyla was finding very funny. John's eyes slid from the wide dilated eyes of the Vet to Teyla, seeing her eyes were bright and shining with mirth. The laughter had added a light flush to her cheeks and John felt something stir inside. A raw possessiveness he had not really felt before to this intensity made him quicken his step through the store.

He arrived beside them with a polite smile. "Tim."

Tim turned his charming smile to John and stretched out his hand which John grudging shook. "Hey, John. How you doing? I was just talking to Teyla here. She says she's staying with you up in Colin's cabin?"

"That's right." John replied as he turned to Teyla, seeking her eye contact. She smiled up at him as if nothing was wrong.

"Tim has been telling me of his profession."

"Yes" Tim smiled with her, which annoyed John further as they shared their joke between them. "I had a little run in with a rather amorous donkey this morning and had to break up a fight between a violent rabbit and a family dog." Teyla chuckled again, obviously having heard the entire story in what was undoubtedly an amusing and well told anecdote.

"Sounds fun." John replied.

"All in the life of a local Vet. How's things up at the cabin? It must be nice having such lovely company for you." Tim asked; his shining eyes back on Teyla again.

John stepped closer to Teyla, angling his body so they combined a united front. "It's great. Not many amorous donkeys about though."

Tim smiled, appearing oblivious to John's disquiet. "I used to visit Colin up there when he had a couple of horses. It's a lovely spot and beautiful walks up there. I should try and get up that way again."

"You could come up to the cabin for a drink if you are passing." Teyla offered politely and John silently cursed her. She appeared not to be seeing the blatant interest the Vet was putting out her way.

"That would be lovely, Teyla, thank you." Tim inclined his head very politely and John watched as Teyla smiled in return. He made a close study of her smile and decided she was just being polite to the guy. It was time John made things clear for Tim though.

"I heard Tessa say you were working down in the city more now?" John asked, as he did he none too subtly leant an outstretched arm against the nearest shelf behind Teyla, which now placed her firmly within his personal space. John saw the moment Tim noticed John's territorial body language, saw his eyebrows lift slightly, even though he didn't break his explanation about his work in the city. John smiled tight lipped at the Vet as he nodded to the words he wasn't really hearing.

"Well, we should really be going, sounds like that wind is picking up. And if you are passing the cabin we would be happy to have you round for a coffee sometime, wouldn't we, hunny?" John hadn't called her that in a very long time and he used it now for Tim's benefit.

"Yes, of course," Teyla replied and John heard her admonishment in her tone. She thought he was being rather rude to Tim, but John didn't care.

"That would be great. It was nice to meet you, Teyla." Tim nodded to them both and turned back to his shopping as John subtly guided Teyla back towards the counter with a gentle hand on her lower back.

James had the shopping already bagged up, taking a moment to add the tub of crisps Teyla handed over. John thought he saw a smile in the cashier's eyes as he took John's money and chatted with Teyla. Picking up the bags John hustled Teyla out as soon as was reasonably polite.

Once outside he prepared himself for what she would say about Tim, but she didn't say anything, only gave him a strange smile as she climbed into the car.

The wind had picked up and the light level was dropping as John drove out of the town, the new falling snow coating everything around them.

"You think I was being rude to Tim?" He found himself asking. He didn't want to start an argument, but he really wanted to know.

She reached down into the foot well of her seat and there was crumpling sounds of her digging through the store bag. "I do not think Tim will visit the cabin any time soon." Her tone sounded amused.

He glanced at her again to see the tub of crisps appear. "He was making a move on you."

"He was being friendly, was I to ignore him?" She pulled open the tube of snack food and reached in.

John frowned as he navigated the turns through the falling snow. "Did you tell him you were my wife?" He wasn't sure why this was such a sticking point, but he couldn't seem to let it pass.

She considered the question. "I do not think it came up."

He frowned further at that and looked back at her. "Maybe you could start wearing your ring again." He uttered as a thought.

She crunched on some crisps and looked over at him in the half light of the car. "So I am clearly marked for other males to see?"

He had to give her that one, so he didn't reply to that. The subject of their rings hadn't come up before, but if she wore hers it would keep would be suitors off her. He glanced down at her stomach. "Well, it's not like most people can see you're pregnant yet." He commented. Her bump completed disappeared from view under a thick jumper or coat.

"Would you perhaps like me to wear a sign?" She asked.

Caught off guard by her joke he found himself laughing lightly at the image it conjured up. "No. How about a t-shirt? Or a badge maybe?"

She smiled at him and offered him some of the crisps.

"You're going to be huge if you keep eating like this." He shook his head at the offer and returned his attention to driving.

"Am I not eating for two now?" Her tone was playful again. It was a tone he had rarely heard in the last year, and she had used it twice in under a minute. He looked over at her again, assessing her mood and saw a lightness there that felt new. He wondered where it had suddenly come from. Maybe it was from her obvious enjoyment of her food. Though he had been teasing, she was eating considerably more now and he found himself imaging how she would look fully pregnant with their child. The image was very satisfying.

"You do know by the end of the pregnancy I'm going to have to help you up out of chairs." He warned her. He found the thought strangely funny and felt like keeping the playful mood going between them. She lifted a defiant eyebrow. "You mark my words at some point in the future you are going to beg me to help you get up out of a chair, or help put your shoes on."

Her reply was a loud crunch of crisps. He sniggered at that, but the amusement died quickly when he saw that the road ahead was blocked.

"Crap." He muttered as he drew the car to a stop. "The wind must have brought down that tree branch we saw earlier."

Teyla craned her neck to see out of the wind screen. "It must have occurred soon after we left; much snow has built up around it." She closed up the crisps, tucked the tube away and reached for the door handle.

John opened his door, pulling his coat around him and stepped out into the darkening evening. He met Teyla around the front of the car and together they made their way over to the massive branch.

The snow fall had lessened, but there was a considerable amount built up around the branch which would make it harder to move. John tested the weight of the branch, hoping he could shift it out the way, but it was slightly too heavy.

"If we dig out some of the snow, we can move it." Teyla reported, as she tested the relatively loose snow around it.

"We?" John asked. "How about I do the heavy work and you go and sit back in the car?"

"John." She replied sternly. "I am fully capable of moving snow and tree branches."

"You're pregnant now and shouldn't…"

"Athosian women remain very active in the community throughout their pregnancy. I am not ill, I am pregnant."

He opened his mouth to argue and then thought better of it. She was right and if other women could, then Teyla especially could. "Fine. But, I'll do most of the heavy lifting and if you get tired you go back to the car and eat some more. Okay?"

She graced him with another smile.

"Right, I've got a shovel and a small axe in the trunk of the car for this kind of thing." After a short trip to the car he returned with the tools. Teyla started shovelling snow away and John set about chopping the massive branch into two smaller, more manageable pieces.

After only a relatively short amount of time silently working things were looking hopeful. Despite his insistence on doing the lifting it took them both to get the right leverage to move the main part of the branch. He tried to take most of the weight, but when she added her strength and the weight became considerably lighter he remembered that Teyla was not your usual woman. Her slightly increased agility and strength borne from her Wraith gene meant that he didn't have to worry about her so much. So without any more complaints or spoken worries he let her help with the other half of the branch. John then used the shovel to clear the road a little more and stood up, happy with their handiwork.

Teyla stood about a metre away from him and was looking around at the forest surrounding the road. Suddenly she froze. Awareness and instinct kicked in and John froze alongside her, turning very slightly, angling himself to cover her back, but still keeping her in his peripheral vision. They stood perfectly still and silent.

They hadn't been in the field together for a very long time, or lived alongside each other in Atlantis for over six months, but that instinct and awareness of her had kicked into play as if he had been on missions with her yesterday. He looked out at the silent forest around him, his senses expanded; looking for what had made her react. The fading light made the shadows around him seem thicker and deeper than he remembered them to be. Faint flickers of nightmare images distracted him momentarily, but he pushed them away.

"What is it?" He asked her very quietly.

He heard her take a breath. "Something over there." He looked over his shoulder in the direction she was looking. He saw nothing but deep black shadows and snow gently falling.

Scenarios played out in his mind; had they been tracked by someone here? What if a Wraith had found them? He pushed those thoughts aside calling them foolish, but he had heard of crazier things. Maybe someone was out walking in the forest…at night…in the dark.

Then some shrubbery moved in the distance in which they were looking. John's attention narrowed to that spot and he turned slowly that way, stepping slightly closer to Teyla as he did.

The leaves parted and a short shape moved cautiously into the snow covered road in the distance. Its coat glistened as it moved silently into the fading light. Intelligent yellow eyes turned watching him and Teyla; watching them as they watched it. It paused halfway across the road and stood looking at them with what John considered to be curiosity. The three of them stood watching each other for an expanded moment of connection that brought about an odd feeling of stillness in John. Its slanted yellow eyes that he had once thought Wraith-like he now saw were nothing like the cruel killers he had faced down. These were warm, cautious eyes, assessing them and perhaps recognising something in them.

Then it was moving swiftly across the rest of the track and into the forest on the other side. They stood waiting for a few moments, their breathing loud in the silence. And then in the distance John heard a soft bark and a responding half howl.

"What was it?" Teyla whispered into the sinking darkness.

John shook himself out of the strange heightened state he had been in. "A wolf." He replied softly. "There aren't that many around and you don't see them that often."

"A beautiful creature." Teyla whispered, her eyes still studying the patch of forest into which it had vanished.

John nodded and looked over at her. Only then did he realise he had had an arm extended towards her, his hand turned protectively over her belly. Her hand was lightly touching his arm in acknowledgement. A connection they had sought during a moment of high tension.

"You okay?" He found himself asking, even though she was obviously fine.

She turned to him and smiled. "Yes." The hand that was still lightly touching him squeezed his forearm slightly.

Reassured that she was okay and that there was nothing else out there watching he turned back towards the car. "Shall we get going then?" He asked.

She squeezed his arm again and he moved away from her, but not too far. Together they walked back to the car, walking in time like they used to. John's nerves were still buzzing, the adrenaline gradually leaving his system. He replayed that moment in his mind when she had frozen and he had reacted so instantly. He had had that awareness of her always when they had been on the same team and then when they had been happily married. He hadn't realised he had been missing that level of communication with her until now. A gentle and forceful reminder of how attuned he still was to her, even after everything that had happened.

--

The rest of the evening passed in pleasant conversation on the subject of wolves and other creatures of Earth. John shared with her his embarrassing untold story of a bear encounter during a training exercise when he was younger. She in turn told him of several creatures back on old Athos which she had either hunted or once been hunted by. She hadn't appeared sad to speak of her old home planet or to once again bring up the subject of her people.

To keep the evening light he had chosen a comedy movie for the evening's entertainment and they sat down on the sofa, slightly closer than they had been before, to watch it.

After that she had retired for the evening, leaving him by himself again. He checked outside, as he did every night. When he had first come here he had obsessively checked the perimeter of the cabin's property several times a day. Now, it was down to once a night, just to check everything was tied down, in its place and that nothing was out of place. His checks complete he shut the cabin door securely and sat down with his book, not yet ready to face the nightmares to come.

He settled down on the sofa and opened up the Fatherhood book. Flicking through the index he looked up 'appetite'. There was a whole chapter dedicated to eating. The first half dealt mostly with morning sickness and helpful tips and how to reassure your partner. The second part was on the massively increased appetite and how to eat a healthy diet. After half an hour of reading he knew more about vitamins and a balanced diet than he had ever imagined. Teyla seemed slightly ahead of the usual time of increased appetite, but this was a woman from another galaxy who could probably still beat the crap out of him with one of the two sticks she had fashioned that now sat by the door. He also planned to hide future crisps from her; they were not a healthy snack food. The book suggested other helpful snack foods and he was immensely grateful that they had practically bought out half of the city superstore earlier in the week.

He turned back to the index and looked through it, idly seeing what other subjects caught his eye. 'Sex and Pregnancy' did just that. He took a moment to peer down the corridor to make sure she wasn't about to appear behind him, and turned to the chapter.

It turned out that a woman's sex drive could practically disappear, or it could blast into outer space (he liked the analogy for that one) during pregnancy, or anywhere between. Some men reported their wives had been insatiable, especially during the second trimester. John did a second of mental calculations; Teyla was starting her second trimester. With more blood running around in her pelvis and her breasts growing meant that a woman could feel pretty horny in her pregnancy, but that her changing body could make her feel nervous and unattractive. John couldn't imagine Teyla ever being anything other than sexy. He peered back towards the corridor that led to the bedrooms and had to wonder if she had been feeling that way. Being separated from your husband wouldn't really help and now she was here; was she thinking about sleeping with him? Or were their problems still too much for her to be thinking of anything like that?

He continued his reading, reassured that sex during pregnancy would be safe and could be especially enjoyable. Men reported a series of responses in their own sexual drive for their pregnant wife; some loving the changes to her body, whilst others felt very uncomfortable, worrying about the baby and mother. John frowned; he didn't really know the changes to her body since all he had seen of her new shape was the slight bump showing through her tighter tops. He was suddenly very curious to the other changes that may be occurring to her body.

He closed the book and considered the fact that he had just been reading up on sex in regards to Teyla. Other than that night four months ago, they had not been connecting on that level for a long time. He missed that intimacy with her, not just in the physical enjoyment but in the affection and love for each other. That she had rejected him physically as well as emotionally had hurt him more than he had realised. But, now he was once again thinking about the prospect of intimacy with Teyla, be it sexual or to simply hold her. In fact other than the conception night he hadn't kissed her for a very, very long time. That fact bothered him. His wife and he hadn't even shared a kiss on the cheek. Would she want that? She wanted their marriage to continue, surely that meant she wanted him physically still?

The confusing unanswered questions would have to wait. He put the book aside, turned off the side lamp and headed to his bedroom. As he entered the corridor he noticed that Teyla's light was still on, her door slightly ajar. Curiosity and perhaps seeking a connection with her again he moved to her door and knocked very lightly in case she actually had fallen asleep.

"Come in, John." She called out and he pushed open the door, peering into the spare room.

She was sat up in bed, pillows behind her and a book resting against her drawn up knees. The bedside lamp created a cosy atmosphere as did the small items set around the room. He noticed the set of drawers to the side were covered in her new toiletries and he recognised several small Athosian items. Her long Athosian cardigan hung over the back of a chair and her bags were packed away; nowhere to be seen. She looked like she had made this room hers in only a few days. He was both pleased to see her settled, but not in the fact that it was in the spare bedroom.

"Not used to seeing you up so late." He started, stepping into the room.

She smiled. "I believe I have caught up on my sleep now."

He nodded, still taking in the subtle pervading changes to the room. Now Teyla's room. "You look more rested." He commented. He searched for something to say and his eyes fell on the mug set beside her on the nightstand. "You want anything? More tea?"

She looked down at the mug and he saw in her face that she did. "It is alright, John. I will get it. You go to bed."

"No, no. I'll get it. I was going to take a drink to bed with me anyway." He lied.

"Alright, thank you. Another green tea please" She lifted the mug up and John stepped forward to take the offered empty mug.

"Anything else? Some late night snack perhaps?"

She smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling in the lamplight. "No, that will be fine. Thank you."

"Okay." He turned back to the door. "Be back in a minute."

He headed to the kitchen and set the water to boil. He pulled out a mug for himself as he should have a drink for show. He opened what was now a fully stocked tea and coffee cupboard and sorted through the varied boxes of herbal teas she was trying out. After careful consulting of the pregnancy books they had removed a couple that were perhaps not so safe. He noticed she had also written a few comments on the side of the boxes of those which should not be drunk too much and what some were specifically good for. He selected another green tea for her and poured the hot water over it. After further consideration he had a liquorice tea.

After putting his tea into his room, he carried her mug into her room, lightly knocking again as he entered. She looked up at him with a smile. He carried the mug straight over to her bedside table and as she did she lifted the book she was reading to show him. He recognised it, realising it was his old 'War and Peace' book. Oddly touched that she was not only reading it, but that she had brought it with her he smiled down at it.

"Enjoying it?" He asked as he stood a little awkwardly beside her bed.

"I am, though I do not understand all the subtleties of the story and of the history, but it is a good story so far." She opened it up and pulled out a piece of paper. "I thought I had misplaced this in my bag and had not been able to find it. I think someone at the SGC kindly tucked it into the book so it would not get lost. I did not want to tell you until I found it."

John frowned down at the grainy piece of paper that she held up towards him, then he realised what it was; the scan of the baby. He reached out and took the piece of paper from her, and leant into the light of the lamp to better see its details. After a moment he turned it the other way round and heard a breathy laugh.

"This is its spine?" He pointed out the long line at the base of the photo.

She reached out and touched his arm, pulling him gently round so she could see. He moved and gently sat down on the edge of her bed to make it easier.

"This is the spine, its arms here and you can see one leg there, the other behind." She pointed out the details and John watched in amazement as his child came to life in the picture.

One area caught his eye. "What's this?" He pointed to it.

"That is its heart." She told him and smiled brightly at him.

He looked back down at the tiny thing, and tried to get his head around the fact that it was all so real. His eyes slid from the picture to her stomach and he tried to imagine the baby in there like in the picture.

"When are you due another scan?" He asked. "Did the SGC say anything about medical care for you?"

"I am not due a scan until 20 weeks Carson said. They said I would be covered for… medical insurance?" She asked; the term alien to her tongue.

John nodded. "Maybe we should register you in with a Doctor just in case and then if you have any worries you can call them?"

She nodded patiently. "If you would like. How long were you planning on staying in the cabin for?"

"Colin said I could stay here for the whole six months. So, just under another two months till I have to head out and check in with the SGC. I was thinking about getting a flat somewhere."

She nodded. The subject of the future as usual put a slight downer on his mood and Teyla looked a little uncomfortable again. John looked once again at the picture and handed it back to her.

"Thank you for showing me this." He said softly.

She didn't take it from him. "You can hold onto it if you want to." She offered.

"It's okay. I know where it is if I want to look at it." He said, though in truth he wanted to sit and look at it for a while.

"We could put it in the lounge where we can both see it." Teyla suggested and John smiled at the idea, his eyes sliding back to the picture. "You take it for tonight." She said, somehow understanding that he wanted it for longer.

"Okay." John said as casually as he could, his eyes feasting back on the picture again. A thought occurred to him. "You said everything was alright with the baby?"

"Yes, the baby is very well." She replied her eyes soft.

He looked down at her stomach again out the corner of his eye. "And you're okay too?" The book had said that she could feel quite different from day to day. He looked up at her face assessing her response.

"I am well." There was something she wasn't quite telling him, he could see it there. But, he suspected it was more to do with their problems. If it was a health issue he was sure she wouldn't keep it from him.

"You'd tell me if you weren't feeling well, right? Cause the books say that you can feel light headed, or tired, or emotional. You don't have to hide that stuff from me, right?" She looked slightly surprised by his comment, and he was a little too, but full of newly acquired pregnancy knowledge he wanted to be apart of it all. "I want to be involved…as much as you want me to that is." He dwindled off. He wanted her to share what she was going through with him, but he couldn't exactly force her to. "You can ask me for anything, okay?"

"Thank you, John." She reached out and laid a hand on his arm, her eyes down and he thought slightly damp. "I appreciate that."

John wondered how much she had been supported by her people. The Athosians were good people, but they could not take the place of a loving husband and he hadn't exactly been playing that role. She had been going through all the changes and emotional weight of pregnancy and a broken marriage. She had been alone. Well, not any more.

"You're not alone in this, Teyla." He told her honestly.

He saw her swallow and the tightening of her lips, all of which he recognised as Teyla signs that she was feeling emotional and holding it all in. She kept her gaze downwards, but her hand tightened on his arm.

"Thank you, John." She said again.

He reached out and rubbed her arm lightly, and she leant towards him. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. She leant in and settled her forehead against his chest, then turned her cheek to press against him. He put his other arm around her and held her lightly. It wasn't the close, chest to chest kind of hug that they used to enjoy, but it was the first proper hug in a long time. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of her once again, inhaled her familiar smell and pressed his cheek to the top of her head.

Her breathing was a little jagged against him, signally the true level of emotion she was feeling. But, he could tell she was keeping herself from crying and he respected her need to keep that in for now. But, it didn't stop him from rubbing his hands lightly over her back in what he hoped was a soothing manor. She sighed and rested heavier against him and he smiled. He was helping in some small way.

He wanted to say something; tell her he was sorry, tell her he wanted to be with her and that he was so happy that they were going to be parents. But the words wouldn't come out and maybe he wasn't ready to open that can of worms. Not when she was in his arms and there was some peace between them, some resemblance of their former connection.

She sighed again and pulled away from him slowly. He let her pull back, feeling her need for distance again. However, he wasn't quite so ready to let go of the moment, so he leant down and pressed a quick kiss on her cheek and pulled back fully.

He picked up the fallen baby photo from his lap and stood up. "Sleep well, Teyla."

She looked up at him with emotional eyes. "Good night, John." She smiled rather sadly.

He looked down at her for a moment longer and then turned to leave, the baby photo clutched in his fingers. At the door he turned back and watched as she settled herself back against the pillows, hurriedly wiping an eye as she did. He waited till she looked up at him and he smiled at her, really smiled. It was good that she was here.

"Night." He said once again, wanting to leave, but unwilling to leave her.

"Good night." She repeated from her area of warm lighting and cosy bed.

He pulled the door shut, closing her away in her comfortable bed away from him. His chilled empty bedroom waited for him; his tea now cold and his lonely nightmares on the horizon.

--

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning****:** Contains details of what might be considered a non-consensual sexual situation.

**Note:** I am not a psychologist, and do not pretend to be one, so please forgive any inaccuracies in how I wrote this chapter. And please remember this is an AU universe, so I have been playing with the canon timeline and its details.

--

"The Sheppards are here to see you, Sir." Mandy's polite happy voice informed Doctor Greesham.

"Thank you, Mandy. I will be out in a moment."

"Yes, Sir."

He smiled at Mandy's continued insistence on calling him 'Sir'. It made him feel a little old, but knew it was a sign of her respect.

Greesham pulled out his brief file on Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard of the US Air Force. He was a very interesting man who had obviously seen a lot of combat. Greesham was heavily aware that the man had been involved in some serious top secret work and he had been through a lot of hardship lately.

Over the past months John had gradually opened up and began talking about what had happened to him in as much detail as he was able. Yet, though it had obviously been very traumatic, Greesham suspected that had not been John's first run in with such situations. His eyes told Greesham of the horrors he had seen, but had risen over before. Greesham had suspected from very early on in their sessions that there was an underlying hurt that was bothering John and that his recent traumatic experience had overloaded him beyond his ability to cope with it all.

After a month or so John had begun to talk about his family, and especially his father. That they had been in contact with each other again had made it easier for John to talk about, but it was clear that the rejection from his family had damaged him when he was younger. His first marriage had ended in failure, though John had admitted that he had gone through with that marriage due to family and social pressure. The life of a married military person could be very difficult and John had been very much a loner at his core.

It had taken four months for John to begin talking about his current wife from whom he was separated. The failure of this marriage appeared to be affecting him very deeply and Greesham had suspected that this was the source of most of the man's hurt outside the current nightmares he was dealing with.

Then a chance run in with John in a bookstore had revealed that his wife had returned and was pregnant. John had even taken time to introduce her to him. Greesham consulted the note he had made this morning when John had rung to say that both he and his wife would be attending the session today. Teyla; that was her name. Greesham noted down the name with its correct spelling.

She had not been what Greesham had expected, though he tried never to pre-judge anybody or situation. She was a beautiful petite woman, who radiated a gentle strength of character. She had smiled openly at him in greeting and when John had subtly told her that Greesham was John's therapist her smile had warmed even more. That told him a lot; she cared about her husband and had been silently thanking him for helping John.

This would be a very interesting session. They had spent the last week together and Greesham was sure that many issues had come up for them. So, he put aside the file, stood up and headed to the door, pausing only to pull a second leather chair out into the middle of the room for the couple.

He paused again at the door, preparing himself as he always did to meet his clients. To prepare himself personally and to ready himself to observe all he saw. He pulled open the door and walked into his nicely decorated waiting room. The Sheppards were sitting beside each other on the line of chairs by the magazines. Each had a magazine they were flicking through, but had obviously been talking with each other. A good start; some couples refused to sit near one another, or talk, or even spent their time pacing the waiting room; it all informed Greesham of the state of the relationship he was here to help.

John looked up first, his eyes wide and nervous. Teyla looked up at what John was responding to and she too stood up to meet him.

"It is good to see you again, Mrs Sheppard." Greesham greeted the beautiful woman. He suspected that these two would have a very cute child.

Teyla shook his hand in a surprisingly strong grip and smiled. "Please call me Teyla, Doctor Greesham."

"Very well. Would you both like to come in?" He waved them into his office and headed to his chair leaving them space to decide where and how to sit down. This was also a very telling point with couples.

With no fuss or bother they took their seats beside each other, John having let her choose which chair to sit in first. They settled down, all three chairs angled inwards towards each other. Greesham had found it helped to create a personal space for a couple, encouraging them to share and interact openly.

Greesham picked up his note pad and pen and settled into his chair taking in the two. Teyla was looking around the room apparently honestly interested in the space and his ornaments on display. John shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his eyes moving to Teyla and then back to Greesham. He had not seen John this nervous in their sessions for quite some time.

"Welcome, Teyla. Thank you for agreeing to be a part of this session." Greesham began. Teyla returned her attention to him. "Have you ever seen a therapist before?" Greesham had found it best to use the term therapist as it included so much more for people.

"Yes. Back at… the base where we were stationed, we had a psychologist available to talk to." She told him freely. When she had used the term 'base' she had looked round at John, who had nodded encouragingly at her. It was a good reminder for Greesham that Teyla had also been apart of the top secret work.

"Good. Well, I work by posing questions and encouraging you both to share as much as you feel happy expressing. I am not recording this session and I will not make any detailed notes on anything you say, so anything you say here is held in the strictest confidence." She nodded willingly. "I would also like you both to consider this a 'neutral zone' as it were; a place where both of you have equal rights in expressing yourselves and ask that you try not to judge each other harshly here. This is a space in which both can speak freely and I would like you both to treat this process with respect."

They both nodded. Good.

"Do you have any questions?" They both shook their heads. Silence appeared to be a factor here. He wondered how much they had been sharing with each other so far.

"So I understand that you two met when you were stationed at the same base?" He began aware that he may already be stepping into difficult territory.

They both looked at each other asking who should speak first. Another sign that they were communicating, but that there was still some tension around.

"Yes." John replied.

"And as I understand it you were both on the same military team together?"

"Yes." John replied for them. Teyla appeared happy for him to control how to talk about their work.

"How long was it until you entered into a relationship with each other?"

"A year." Teyla said with a light smile, and Greesham saw a smile on John's lips as well.

"And how did your superiors feel about that?"

"We discussed when to tell the others and told them together and I was changing around the teams anyway, so it kind of worked." John answered

"You were in charge of organising personnel into the mission teams?" Interesting that John had been the one to literally separate their working relationship from their social.

"Yeah." John replied, falling back into his brief answering pattern.

"And when did you get married?"

"Not long after that." Teyla said.

"How was it balancing married life with work on a front line base?" Greesham asked.

John shuffled in his seat again. "It was fine at first. Things became more difficult later." He looked round at Teyla for confirmation.

"I worried about him out on missions and we had to deal with many… dangerous situations in the base." Teyla said carefully.

"The base was attacked?" Greesham fished.

"Several times." Teyla responded in such a way that suggested they had perhaps always been under threat.

"How was your relationship at that time?" He pushed.

"At first things went well, but we both had other duties and spent less time together as the months passed." Teyla said. "We seemed to drift apart."

"Why do you think that happened?"

"Life was very demanding on us. I was having difficulty working as a representative for my people with the military leaders of the base." Greesham remembered that John had mentioned this before. He looked over at John to see him frowning.

"How did that affect your relationship?"

"Not well." Teyla replied, looking over at John again. "I felt that John was not supporting me in my endeavours. He appeared uninterested and I felt I was struggling alone." She spoke very openly and directly, which was refreshing for Greesham and a little surprising. He suspected that they had spoken about this problem recently and she was quick to get the subject out for discussion.

"I tried to help at first, but they were my superiors and I couldn't be shown to be playing favourites to my wife." John added his tone defensive. "You got more upset and annoyed at it all and I felt like I was the one you were mad at." He said to her.

"I felt you were not doing enough to help me. You never visited my people with me." She replied.

"I did." He replied, looking honestly surprised by her statement.

"At first, but later you stopped visiting them with me."

"They didn't really like me anymore, Teyla." John confessed. "You were blaming me for the base's decisions and your people were even more so. I felt like the outsider they used to call me when we married."

She frowned at that. "You said it did not bother you what they said."

He looked away. "Course it does, Teyla. They're your people."

"You felt rejected by her people?" Greesham asked.

John thought about it. "Some of them. Some are great and I loved to visit the kids; teach them football." Teyla smiled beside him.

"Why did you tell Teyla their opinion didn't bother you?"

"They're her people." John replied.

"Meaning?" Greesham pushed.

"I didn't want to speak badly of them to her. She loves every one of them."

"You did not think she would value your opinion as well?"

John shrugged.

"That means; yes." Teyla told Greesham. It had been a statement of his feelings that Greesham would have suspected as challenging with another couple, but she had said it with amusement, like she was used to translating John's body language. Greesham looked at John who nodded slightly.

"Do you do that a lot?" Greesham found himself asking her.

She frowned. "Not listen to his opinions? No."

"I meant; translate what he is not saying?"

They shared an interesting smile, that spoke of a past joke Greesham wasn't party to.

"John has often said that I understand him better than anyone else." Teyla said with a smile, touched with pleasure.

"I'm not good with the feelings stuff, you know that Doc." John said casually.

"You have been very open in discussing your feelings in these sessions, John." Greesham informed him. Teyla looked interested; her gaze suggested a touch of longing. "How did you use to express your feelings to Teyla?"

A light blush and raised eyebrow passed over John's face in response.

"Other than in a sexual manner?" Greesham clarified.

The raised eyebrow lowered, but the blush was still there. "We used to talk a lot. Before. When things got bad we stopped completely, other than the day-to-day idle talk. We even began talking about the weather!"

"Why do you think you stopped talking?"

John shifted in his seat, the blush gone completely, his face paled slightly and he looked hesitantly over at Teyla. She looked at him as she answered.

"I believe it began to change after a particular incident." She said cautiously.

John looked away and down at his hands, a usual avoidance tactic of his. Greesham watched them and waited. Neither apparently knew what to say.

"I appreciate that there may be many details of such incidents and circumstances that you are unable to share due to the nondisclosures you both signed. But, if you can share as much as you can and how you were feeling it would be very helpful to both of you. I will not note any details down that you tell me. If you accidently say something you shouldn't we can clarify my nondisclosure with the military later. Please do not feel you need to withhold your feelings because of this. These have been powerful events for you both and regardless to the precise circumstances they have affected you both deeply and I suggest that it may be unhealthy for you to ignore their emotional impact on you both."

They both nodded reluctantly.

"Though there are details that make the situation difficult to discuss with you in great detail, I believe the memories are very….distasteful and painful for John." Teyla began cautiously. "That is why I wanted him to talk about it after it originally occurred."

John looked at her. "We did talk about it. I shared and we moved on."

Teyla shook her head slightly. "No John. We may have resumed sleeping together, but you never really shared with me how it had affected you. You stopped holding me as much or talking about your feelings with me."

John frowned at her self consciously.

"What happened?" Greesham asked.

Teyla's face changed to one of deep concern for her husband and she watched him, obviously wondering if she should talk. She looked over at Greesham and he shook his head lightly. "Let John tell me if he wants to." He said gently. It appeared these two were used to protecting each other. It was a good sign that the underlining emotions and love was still strong.

John cleared his throat as he took his time to work out how to talk about what had happened. "I was infected with a virus." He said carefully and Greesham guessed they had stepped solidly into very top secret territory, so he focused purely on the emotions of which John spoke. "We didn't know until later I had been infected, so I didn't really know that I was changing."

"Changing?"

"The virus in its first stages made me feel really good; I had more energy and I felt great, high even. It also began to…tap into my more basic instincts." Greesham had a sudden insight into where this story was going.

"The affects of the virus began to increase and I had been training in the gym with a friend after hours of running and I was feeling rather….wanting." John continued carefully, his eyes downcast and his arms crossed over his chest. "I found Teyla in our bathroom and…tried to force myself on her."

"You were not yourself." Teyla defended him.

"What happened?" Greesham asked gently.

John looked up sharply. "You want the details?!"

"I want you to talk about what happened. I am not asking for the graphic details, unless that is what is disturbing you. By talking about how you felt and what happened you can move past this."

"I have moved past it, Doc."

"You never talked to me about it." Teyla cut in and John looked round at her in surprise.

"You were there, Teyla." He said angrily.

"You were married at that time, yes?" Greesham tried another tactic.

John looked back at him. "Yes and you're thinking what was the difference between what happened and our usual sex life?"

"Did you hurt her?" Greesham asked.

"No. He did not." Teyla jumped in. "I would have stopped him if he had."

John looked round at her. "I was stronger then, even more than you."

She sat back. "You would not have hurt me." She insisted.

"You don't know that." He pushed.

"You stopped yourself, John." She said again.

"Only just."

"You did."

"What if I hadn't?" He asked.

Teyla leant over the chair arm towards John. "You were not yourself, I would have been able to stop you and I would have forgiven you." There was a light shine to her eyes despite her strong voice. "I forgive you for what little did happen."

"What did happen, John?" Greesham pushed, concerned still that perhaps John had hurt her as he hadn't answered that earlier question.

John pulled his eyes away from his wife's open emotional eyes. When he began to talk this time his voice was slightly more relaxed. "She was in the bathroom bent over the washbasin and I trapped her against it. I remember feeling so much…want. She was about to leave on a mission and I was annoyed that she was leaving; I wanted her to stay with me. I didn't want her to go join her team, and I hated the thought of her leaving with a team of men. I felt very possessive and…hungry for her." Greesham noticed Teyla had looked surprised at the comment on the other men in her team.

"Did you usually feel jealous like that when she left on her missions?" Gressham interrupted.

John thought about it. "I guess. I missed spending that time on missions with her." He turned to Teyla. "I liked that we worked together before, that we watched each other's back." Teyla smiled softly at him.

"I missed it too." She replied. "But, I prefer you as my husband more than a team mate."

He smiled in acknowledgement. "Me too. But, I worried about you."

"Were you jealous of those other men?" Greesham asked.

"A little. She's so beautiful." He looked back at Teyla and she blushed lightly, which he appeared to like.

"You thought I would prefer Major Lorne over you?" She asked with laughter in her voice.

John shrugged.

"I have never loved any other man like I do you, John." She said, reaching up over the tall leather arm rests to touch his arm. He covered her hand, with his other hand and smiled.

"I haven't exactly been the best husband to you lately. Or then." He sobered slightly.

"You were not yourself." She repeated, settling back into her seat more comfortably and consequently pulled her hand away from his. He let her go.

"But, it happened again didn't it?" John said.

Teyla lifted her eyebrows surprised. "When?"

"Thalen." He clarified. She considered that and frowned.

"Thalen?" Greesham asked.

John looked round as if he had forgotten Greesham was there. "I was…infected again a few months later. A couple of us on the base were infected by…a virus. A different one. We behaved completely out of character." He struggled through that explanation.

Greesham ignored the heavily edited explanation and went straight for what was important. "What happened between you and Teyla in that occasion?"

"I stun… knocked her out. Me and another member on the base had been simultaneously infected and we were trying to take each other out. Teyla got in the way and I knocked her out, gently." He added at the end.

Greesham looked at Teyla, who still looked surprised. "I have never held that against you, John. You were not yourself, neither was Elizabeth."

"I know that, but I still remember the damage we did. I remember stepping over your unconscious body in the corridor like you meant nothing to me."

"That was not your fault." She stressed again.

"I still ended up hurting you. What if you had been hurt like Ronon was?"

"That was Phebus' actions, not yours or Thalen's."

John half nodded reluctantly.

"How did you feel towards Teyla after both these incidents?" Greesham asked.

He considered that. "She forgave me." He didn't say anymore.

"Did you worry about hurting her again?"

"I hated myself for what I had done, or almost done. I didn't want her to think of me as that man." John said to Greesham.

"What do you mean by 'that man'?" Greesham pushed.

"A man who hurt his wife. Twice."

"I was not hurt in either situation." Teyla said with confusion.

Greesham turned to her. "Nonetheless perhaps John feels that he did. And he doesn't want you to see him as someone who tried to hurt you." Greesham looked to John for confirmation, who nodded rather gratefully.

She frowned.

"We did end up hurting each other anyway." John said. "Our marriage fell apart and we hurt each other."

She looked down as well. "That was not purely because of those events."

"No, but it played a role in what happened to your marriage." Greesham added.

"We lived in a very dangerous place. Those kinds of events were not that…unusual." Teyla said.

"To be under such constant pressure must have been difficult for you both." Greesham began. "You were both going out on dangerous missions independently, worrying about the other. At the base you were caught between Teyla's people's opinions and those of John's superiors. You had gone through some dramatic events that had resulted in you both no longer communicating with each other properly. All of that would put a lot of stress on even the strongest of marriages."

They both nodded, looking at each other. The room descended into momentary silence.

"The question for me now is; where do you both go from here? Can you work through these past issues together and move on as a couple? And now there's a baby on the way…" They both smiled happily, Teyla's hand dropped to her belly. "I suggest now is the time to address all these issues you have not been talking about. Start communicating with each other again."

They nodded in unison. "We agreed we both wanted to work at our marriage." John said quietly, looking over at Teyla, who smiled in return.

"That's good. I hope today's session can help in some way to open up the issues that have gone unspoken for so long. Marriage is not an easy thing; it requires work and good communication. You have another month or so until John's leave is to be reassessed, try to enjoy and use this time together."

--

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning:** May contain several clichés. Hey, they're clichés for a good reason!

--

Teyla enjoyed Earth very much; there were so many cultures and different types of climates. It presented an amazingly varied world of people, all interesting and inspiring in their uniqueness. Earth was a fascinating place.

But, right now she wanted nothing more than to get away from all these people. The store she was presently encaged in was full of bustling people, all intent on only their own needs and their own demands. Teyla wondered if it was her recent isolation with John in the cabin that was making her so uncompromising towards all the people around her. After a second of thought, in which she was nearly pushed over by a large overly enthusiastic shopper, she decided that no it was extremely busy and far too hot in the store.

She felt thirsty once again, but she had already finished the small bottle she had had left over from lunch. After the session with Doctor Gresham this morning, they had decided to take the opportunity to spend the rest of the day in the city. Especially since the snow storm was now expected to hit within the next two days and they wanted to gather up all they may need to see it out. Teyla had also been interested in looking at the maternity wear in the stores that she had seen in the pregnancy magazines. She had bought a few items that John had already put back in the car, but now she was ready to go home. John had gone to another store somewhere and they were planning to meet up again outside this store in five minutes.

She looked down at the items she had been looking through and decided it was not worth it; she would go and wait for John outside the store. It was far too warm in here and she was feeling very tired. Her stomach grumbled lightly as she began to make her way towards the store exit. She had been hungry earlier when she and John split up to shop, and had looked in the local stands and coffee shops for something quick to eat, but they had all been bursting with people so she had not bothered. Maybe she should get something once she and John met up.

The sea of people was making it difficult for her to get out of the store and she grew warmer and warmer as she got more agitated with them all. She stopped in an area near several very ugly outfits that was absent of people for the time being and tried to take a moment.

The room swam around her for a second and her stomach dropped. Placing a hand to her slightly sweaty forehead her body began to feel both hot and cold all at once. She needed to get out of the store. With renewed determination to reach fresh cool air she now barged her way around people. Finally she was outside the doors, where the people were less tightly packed together, but still all too close. She moved further away from the store front, to stand near the massive shop windows and tried to breathe.

She felt slightly disorientated, unsure where she was in relation to the store entrance anymore. Would John be able to find her here? Then she spotted him making his way through the throng of people, his height and spiky hair standing out of the crowd for her. He was looking as displeased with everyone as she felt. He spotted her somehow and made his way to her.

She tried to pull herself together, but her head began to get lighter and lighter and her skin went cold. She needed to sit down somewhere.

"Teyla, are you okay?" John appeared beside her, his hands tight on her upper arms.

"I need to sit down for a moment." She managed to say as the world swirled around her and she closed her eyes to block it all out.

John wrapped a solid arm around her and began to walk her somewhere. Teyla didn't care, all she needed was somewhere to sit, maybe lie down. She clung to John, desperate to keep a hold of him. The only thing she was clearly aware of was his strong arm around her pressing her against his solid body as he guided her along. She was vaguely aware he might be speaking to her, but all she could hear was the unbearable noise of all the people around her, and the impressing hot air around her.

Then shadow fell over her and the air cooled somewhat and John's grip on her changed and she risked opening her eyes. An empty space appeared before her with a lonely looking wall that she reached towards. The palely painted wall was cool and welcoming. She leant against in and felt hands helping her to sit down against it.

There were agitated voices near her, but she didn't care about anything other than being able to sit down and on the death grip she knew she had on John's hand. A gentle pressure on the back of her neck encouraged her to hang her head down between her drawn up knees and she stared down at the dark carpet before closing her eyes once again. That helped. She focused on her breathing and nothing else.

"Teyla?" The voice broke through to her suddenly and she realised it was John. And she felt his body crouched down right next to her. She squeezed the disembodied hand she still held and felt him squeeze back, whilst she felt his other hand was stroking one of her drawn up knees.

"Are you in any pain sweetheart?" He asked like he had been asking several times already.

She shook her head. "I just felt… lightheaded for a moment." She managed to reply.

There was some more movement nearby and John moved away, though he still held her hand. Someone crouched down in front of her and she opened her eyes to see a dark skinned woman looking at her.

"Mrs Sheppard?" She asked kindly, her eyes assessing Teyla. "I'm a Doctor. How are you feeling?"

Teyla smiled at her lightly feeling slightly better now she wasn't standing or moving around. "I am feeling slightly better."

"May I take your pulse?" The woman asked her reaching for one of Teyla's wrists.

Teyla nodded and looked down at her own hands resting on her knees, one wrapped tightly around John's hand. His hand shifted then asking to be let go and she tightened her hold on it, desperate suddenly not to let him go. The warmth at her side reappeared and his voice cut through the confusion again.

"I'll be back in a second, Teyla. I promise." His lips touched her temple and she let his hand go. She turned her attention back to the kind Doctor whose cool fingers pressed against her wrist.

"Can you tell me what happened, Mrs Sheppard?"

"I was in a store. So many people and it was very hot. I felt thirsty and hungry."

The lady finished taking her pulse, but kept her hand around her wrist lightly. "Did you experience any pain? Your husband says you are seventeen weeks pregnant."

Teyla nodded as best she could, her vision still narrowed down to the woman in front of her. "I felt no pain, just lightheaded and then hot and cold. I just wanted to get into the fresh air and to sit down."

She nodded. "Have you been feeling dizzy or lightheaded regularly since you became pregnant?"

"Only occasionally when I was still being sick all the time."

The woman smiled encouragingly. "I remember those days." She said with feeling.

John's hands reappeared near hers and she watched him open a bottle of water and then press it into her hand. She reached for it with delight and lifted it to her dry lips.

"I think it was just a case of getting too hot and having low blood sugar. Women can be prone to being lightheaded during pregnancy." The lady Doctor told her and John.

The water tasted wonderful and was very satisfying. John took the bottle from her when she had had enough and pressed a carton of fruit juice into her hand in its place. She sipped the intensely sweet juice slowly through the tiny straw.

"She didn't lose consciousness completely you said?" The Doctor asked John.

"No, she went deathly pale and weak. Said she needed to sit down." John said.

Teyla rested her head back against the cool wall her vision clearing now to view the two people in front of her. John's eyes were worried and he was crouched very close, his knee against her side, so she felt surrounded on one side by his supportive presence.

"I was hungry earlier, but did not eat anything." She reported as she sipped some more of the juice.

"You are looking much improved Mrs Sheppard. Do you think you will be able to get up soon?" The lady asked and Teyla nodded. "I think you should be fine now, but it may be worth just dropping into the hospital around the corner where I normally work. They will check you over." She removed a card from her pocket and handed it to John. "The address is on the card and tell them I sent you there to be checked over."

"Thank you, Doc for interrupting your shopping." John replied as he tucked the card into his pocket after checking the address.

"No problem. How are you feeling now, Mrs Sheppard?"

Teyla was in fact feeling considerably better, just rather tired. "The juice and water really helped. Thank you for your time Doctor."

The woman smiled once more. "Okay, I'll leave you be. If you feel sick again or experience any pain call for some emergency care." John nodded. "Good luck then and congratulations on the baby." She stood up and walked away. As she did another face appeared; a young man in a store uniform, he held several items. John looked round at him with recognition.

"Thanks a lot." He said gently removing his hand from Teyla's again to pull out his wallet and he handed over some money in return for the food the young man passed to him.

"Glad we could help. Stay here as long as you need." The young man blushed lightly at Teyla and disappeared.

She looked down at the crisps, fruit and another bottle of water John lay down beside her. John put his wallet away and then sat down beside her as she finished off the carton of juice.

"You really feeling better?" He asked, reaching out and tucking some of her hair back behind one of her ears.

She nodded as she crushed the now empty juice carton. "I am sorry."

"No need to be sorry, Teyla. You gave me a bit of a fright there though." He smiled. "You want something else?" He picked up a banana and opened it with quick efficient movements, broke off a piece and handed it to her. She took it gratefully and slowly munched on it. John helped himself to a small piece as well, he settled down next to her more comfortably, his body still touching hers.

"Where are we?" Teyla asked as she finally looked around the empty cool room in which they sat.

"A storage room just by the entrance to another store." He handed her another piece of banana. "Your colour is looking better. You looked like death, Teyla."

The food was making her feel almost back to normal and she hungrily accepted another piece of banana from him before it was finished.

"Can't believe _you_ didn't eat when you were hungry!" John handed over the water she was reaching for.

She smiled around the last of the fruit. "There were too many people around. I planned to get something later."

"It's a madhouse here." John agreed as he pulled open some crisps and offered her one. "We need to make sure you have something sweet to eat in your bag at all times."

She nodded and took a few crisps. "I am fine now." She reported, and smiled up at him to reassure him. He looked at her closely, and apparently found what he was looking for as he closed the crisps and put them and the remaining food in a bag he had with him.

"You feel ready to go for a walk? That hospital is only around the corner." His reached out and took her hand again, the affectionate touch helping her feel even better.

"I should be fine." She insisted again as she began to move her rather ceased up body. He held her hand tightly as she stood, his other hand hovering around her elbow.

"Well, then go to the hospital for the baby's sake and for mine, okay? It's only a block away." His tone told her how nervous he still was for her.

"Alright." She agreed. "I could do with a walk."

"You sure? We could get a cab?" He asked her, though she was sure he knew as she did that it was far too busy out there.

"It will be quicker if we walk." She said, happy her legs were steady under her. She felt back to normal, though slightly tired.

"Okay." He agreed and led her slowly out of the storage room.

He held her hand all the way to the hospital, walking in front of her, cutting a clear path through the people. He walked as if he was in uniform again and carrying a P90; his manor in control and full of authority. She was aware he was being protective and careful of her, and it felt odd to be on the receiving end of that. She was used to protecting alongside him, not to be the one he was taking care of. It felt oddly nice as did the memory of his arm around her and the present touch of his hand holding hers.

The hospital waiting room was half full, which meant it was quieter than the streets outside. It was also nice and cool in here which Teyla appreciated. John walked her to the counter to the members of staff there and explained the situation using his clipped military efficient manor that had them hurrying to obey him, but smiling as they did it. They looked at her with experienced eyes, obviously seeing that she wasn't in any immediate danger of collapsing. A form on a clipboard was handed to John and he led her to the chairs to sit down and fill it in. Teyla asked him to do the writing to make things quicker. He read out each question as he filled it in for her benefit.

"I'm gonna need to go call…Home Base for some of this information." Home base meant the SGC. "You got the phone?" He asked.

Teyla pulled the small bag she had on a light strap around her and pulled out the phone the SGC had given her.

"I can't use this in here, so I'm just going to head outside for a few minutes, okay?" He asked his eyes still worried for her.

She smiled. "I will be fine here, John. What if they call me in whilst you are outside"

"They won't call you until they get these forms back." He replied and with one last smile he took the phone and form and headed outside. She watched him as he headed out into the courtyard outside the hospital door and began tapping away at the phone.

She turned her attention to the room around her, becoming aware of the unhappy people around her all waiting to be seen by a medical professional. There was a family to one side clustered around a young boy with his arm in a sling, with the tracks of old tears on his little face. Across from them was a collection of people with bandages, or tissues held to cuts or bruises. Several others looked sick, their heads down and their spirits low. One man was rocking in his seat and watched Teyla until she frowned at him and he looked away. She hoped they would not have to wait too long here.

Finally John reappeared, heading straight over to the counter again and handed over the forms. There was some discussion and then he headed back to her. She looked up at him expectantly as he took his seat next to her.

"They say there's been a pile up nearby, so it may be a slight wait. We're to tell them if you feel unwell again. Okay?" He asked, his eyes locking back onto her face and reached for her hand again.

"Honestly. I am feeling fine again, just a little tired." She said. "What did the S... Home Base say?"

"I only spoke to the admin people, they gave me all your medical insurance details. Sure wish Carson was here."

She smiled and leant into him slightly. He hitched one foot up onto his other knee and laid his forearm over the chair arm between them, her forearm over his and her hand tucked into his. He didn't appear to be in any great hurry to let go of her. In fact every now and then his thumb stroked over the back of her hand. She focused on the small detail, closed her eyes lightly and rested her head against his shoulder.

"Maybe we did a little too much today." John said quietly.

"Hmm?" She asked.

"With seeing Doc Greesham and shopping."

She opened her eyes, not wanting to get too sleepy. "I felt very good after the session. I just forgot to eat and ran out of water." She suspected that every time they left the house from now onwards John would be checking she had both water and food with her at all times. "I am glad we went to the session; and that you invited me there."

His thumb moved over her hand again. "I thought it might help." He said softly, his eyes checking everyone around them in the waiting room as she had done.

She paused, unsure whether this was the best place to be having this discussion. "I had not realised how much Thalen's actions had affected you." She said softly for his ears only.

He angled his head towards her slightly. "I should've talked about it with you…and about what happened the time before."

"I should not have blamed you for my problems concerning my people." She replied.

"Your problems are my problems, Teyla. That's the point."

"As yours are mine. Should we not be sharing the weight of our problems with each other? We may not be able to help directly, but is it not important not to feel alone?"

He considered the words, his hand squeezing hers lightly again. "It was difficult back at the base." He said with a frown.

She thought on that for awhile as she watched the comings and goings around the room and its connecting corridors from her position leaning against John's shoulder. "When I was on my way to see you, when I visited the base, I remember noticing how tired Elizabeth and Rodney looked. It is a difficult place to be and live for many years."

He nodded. "Still, we shouldn't have let it get to us."

She squeezed his hand in return now. He turned to look down at her, where she was resting against him and she smiled up at him. "Life is difficult." She replied.

He nodded again and rested his chin and lips down against the top of her head. "That it is. But, it would be unbearable without you in my life." He whispered against her hair.

She leant heavier against him, tightened her hold of his hand again and closed her eyes, taking in the wonderful warmth of his body again. She had so missed him.

"Mrs Emmagan-Sheppard?" Came a call from across the room and they both looked up to see a nurse waving them over.

--

The Doctor had given both her and their baby a clean bill of health, and had taken extra time to reassure John who had had many questions. It was clear that she had simply allowed her blood sugar to drop too low and that she had been in a stressful environment had not helped her already prone state for light headedness. John wanted to be sure and it had been his first time talking to a Doctor about the pregnancy. The Doctor had patiently answered John's questions and gave them some more reading in the form of information leaflets. They left quite happy.

"I think we should get some food to go" John said as they left the hospital. "That snow looks like its setting in for the rest of the afternoon."

They picked up some take away to eat on the way home, or more realistically in the traffic jams they would undoubtedly be caught in on the way out of the busy city. She picked at the food as they headed back to the waiting car, which already had a good layer of snow over it. She felt so much better; not only from the food and the Doctor's all clear, but it had been a good day between her and John. Since leaving the hospital he hadn't let up on checking on her all the time, and often placed a hand on her back, or guided her through the crowds by her hand. She let him enjoy the role of protective husband and father and for once she actually enjoyed allowing someone else to make the decisions, for the rest of the day at least.

John started up the car and set the hot air going to warm up the inside. Teyla pulled out the device to clear the snow off the car and set about doing so before John could tell her not to. He gave her a raised eyebrow when she sat back down into her seat, but said nothing. She pulled the door shut, sealing them into the growing warmth. She picked the bag of food up from the floor and pulled it open reaching in to eat some more. John reached in as well, their hands meeting in the bag as they both pulled out their food. She chuckled at the small mock battle to see who could remove their food first from the bag and lifted her large sandwich to her mouth victoriously. John munched on his in silence as he set the wipers going to keep the snow from settling too much on the front windscreen. He turned on the radio searching for the travel reports.

They finished their food in record time and decided to leave the fruit and snacks left till later on the journey home. Outside the light was starting to reduce and in the distance Teyla could see the clouds were gathering. John turned the car key further and the engine kicked to life and he looked round at her. She secured her seatbelt as he watched and she smiled up at him ready to go home.

He smiled at her and reached out to wipe a little sauce from her chin that she had apparently missed. She smiled self consciously as he cleaned the sauce from her chin with a quick stroke of his thumb and then he rubbed it on her lower lip. Heat burst through her as she licked the sauce from her lip and watched his eyes on her mouth. He cupped her cheek and leant in towards her.

She leant forward as best as she could in the car to meet his kiss. His lips pressed firmly against hers as she cupped his jaw in her palm. It wasn't a long or passionate kiss, but Teyla thought it was one of the best kisses she had ever received. A simple pressing together of lips that told her he loved her, that he wanted to stay with her and that things were changing between them.

As he pulled back she looked up at his eyes to see them warm and dark. It wasn't a dark hooded look of passion restrained, or even of over powering love, but it was deeply affectionate and full of potential. As they sat back from one another settling more comfortably into their seats Teyla took note of the differences in him now, as compared to long before in the same situation. His eyes still held the touch of caution she always saw there now, the areas under his eyes dark, but he was no less attractive. He had been restrained in his kiss; it had been more of a searching for connection and reassurance that she was alright. She hoped that he felt the connection between them like she did and that the difference he saw in her did not put him off being with her.

He smiled one last time and returned his attention to starting up the car and getting them moving back home, together.

--

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Warning:** Fluffiness ahead!

--

A sharp whipping wind burst into her space, waking her instantly. Sitting up in confusion Teyla looked round at the darkened tent around her. The wind gushed again and lifted anything not heavy enough or not tidied down up into the air, creating a swirling mess within her tent.

Pushing up and out of her bed she stumbled towards the tent flap, desperate to close it once again. She struggled with the cords that were meant to bind it closed, but the wind kept ripping them out of her hands before she could secure them. Flustered and confused she shoved them aside and tried to regain her composure amidst the swirling wind.

Where was the baby? The question was suddenly in the forefront of her mind and she turned back to the tent. Where was John? The two thoughts panicked her. Surely John would be with the baby? But, there was no sign of either him or the baby in the tent. In fact there was no sign that there had ever been a child here. She looked down at her belly, pulling up the night shirt to reveal her flat toned stomach.

Panic made her rush from the tent into the windy camp of Athos. No one was around, all asleep in their beds with their children and their loved ones. What had happened to the baby? Where was John?

She ran through the night making her way towards the Stargate, the twigs and dried mud digging into her bare feet. The path broke out into the empty dark space before the gate and she dashed to the dialling device, pressing in the address for Atlantis.

The lights began to turn on the Gate, so slowly, until the violent burst of the water-like event horizon flew at her, making her wince away from its vortex. Looking back towards it from behind her raised protective arm she saw the gate stood waiting quietly now, the moonlight shining over its shimmering surface. She ran towards it.

Atlantis was empty; its lights dark and ancient dead planets stood in the corners. There was no sign that anyone had been here in a very long time. Teyla lifted the heavy weight of her night trousers cluttered with leaves and twigs and ran up the stairs calling for people. Calling for John.

The Control Room was empty, everything covered in dustsheets, with no sign that they had been touched since the Ancients left. Had the people from Earth ever been here?

Turning panicked even further she called out desperately for John. She voice echoing through the empty gateroom. He must have been here!

Then in the distance she heard a cry, an infant crying. Her baby. She ran back down the stairs following the sound, out into the dark corridors of Atlantis. Calling for her child she ran on checking every room she passed, but she got no closer to the crying.

She realised she didn't know her own child's name; couldn't call for it. Was it a girl or a boy? She didn't know. The cries echoed through the ancient corridors like a ghost haunting her through the abandoned city.

Teyla opened her eyes to the sight of snow falling outside the window. She sat up, a hand to her chest as the nightmare died away. Her breathing shallow she tried to calm herself, telling herself it had been nothing more than a dream. Her hand lowered to her belly and felt the reassuring gentle swell of her growing child. It was safe. She was safe. She was on Earth.

She swung her legs over the side of her bed, touching her bare feet to the thick carpet. Her heart was still hammering in her chest, though her mind was clearing. She had gone to bed early after they had returned from their busy day in the city. The earlier events that had led her to visit the hospital must have worried her more than she had realised.

She looked back up at the window. She had neglected to shut the curtains before she went to bed, and now she could see the heavy snow falling out over the fields behind the cabin. She watched the falling whiteness and calmed.

Turning to the dark doorway she decided to fetch herself a drink. She stood slowly and made her way across the pale light of her bedroom and pulled the door open as quietly as she could. The hallway was very dark, but a faint light glowed from the far end that opened into the lounge area. John must still be up. She made her way down the hall feeling slightly shaky still from her nightmare.

Entering the kitchen quietly she and made her way to the kettle. There was an open hatch in the wall between the lounge and the kitchen, so she stooped slightly to look through to see that John was asleep on the sofa. He was settled down deeply into the cushions, his legs outstretched over the coffee table, his bare feet hanging off the opposite edge in front of the fire. He looked so comfortable, relaxed in his soft bed clothes.

She set the kettle onto the shove and activated the burner beneath it. Fire jumped at her request and began to warm the water. She pulled open the tea cupboard and pulled out a tea that should relax her and dropped the bag into a mug. She turned back to the view of John looking so soft and inviting in the lounge. His presence today, or rather yesterday now, had been so supportive and caring, it made her feel quite emotional. Perhaps it was the hormones, but she couldn't remember him being quite that nurturing to her even back when their marriage had been at its height. But then she supposed she hadn't been pregnant then. His confessions earlier at Doctor Greesham's had been so honest and revealing. She felt a desperate emotional to rush over to him now, stroke his hair, kiss his cheek and snuggle up against him.

She had so missed the affection between them and its slow return warmed her heart. The kettle began to bubble beside her, so she removed it from the heat before the whistle kicked in and disturbed John. She poured out the hot water, taking in the fragrant aroma of the tea as the steam rose up to her nose.

She looked back round to see John had moved slightly, his eyes open and was watching her with a sleepy expression. She smiled back grateful she now had an excuse to go in to see him. She headed out of the kitchen with her mug of tea and walked into the lounge. Firelight and the single lamp set beside the sofa created a cosy welcoming light, in wonderful contrast the cold snow falling outside.

John looked up at her as she rounded the side of the sofa, his eyes were still sleepy and he smiled at her rather dozily.

"I did not mean to wake you." Teyla apologised as she stood a little awkwardly by the end of the sofa, so wanting to join him.

"It's alright." He replied his voice slurred from sleep. "I was only napping."

"Why are you not in bed?" She asked.

He glanced towards the corridor she had just exited. "Didn't really want to face the nightmares tonight."

"You are still having nightmares?" She asked sitting down on the edge of the sofa near him.

He blinked slowly. "A bit. Are you okay?" He asked, a slight frown appearing.

"I had a nightmare myself." She found herself admitting.

"About what happened today?" He asked the sleepiness clearing from his eyes somewhat.

"I do not know. I was back in my tent on Athos and I couldn't find you or the baby. I went to Atlantis, but there was no one there, like they had never been there. I could hear the baby crying, but I couldn't find it or you." She frowned, the emotional echo of the dream still making her feel uncomfortable.

"We're both here." He uttered his hand touching her arm lightly.

She smiled at him and rubbed her hand over her belly reassuringly. "I know."

"Want to join me by the fire?" He asked.

Pleasure replaced all the discomfort and she nodded. After placing her tea down on the table near his legs she settled back into the sofa right beside him. He lifted his closest arm up and out, inviting her to settle against him. She took the invitation very willingly, settling on her side, tucking her legs up onto the sofa under her and leant against his side.

His body was so welcoming; she immediately burrowed into her long lost place against him. His arm enclosed her shoulders, his hand resting on her bare arm. She snuggled into him like he was a giant pillow, and she heard him chuckle.

"Comfortable?" He asked, the depth of his voice vibrating through his chest and directly into her body.

"I have missed you." She found herself admitting against his chest.

His arm tightened around her, pulling her body slightly closer to his side. "I've missed you too." He said into her hair and with his other hand he reached across his chest to stroke the back of her hand that rested over his heart.

She sighed and enjoyed everything, allowing her mind to relax again and she began to drift into a lovely sleepy place.

John moved his shoulder a little and she woke up to see that the fire had died down further, telling her she had been asleep for awhile. John had a book stood up against his middle reading and she realised he had been turning a page with the hand around her which had been the movement that had woken her. She stirred, her mouth dry, so she carefully sat up from him trying to locate where she had left her tea. She spotted it on the table, so reached out for it and settled back against him and sipped the chilled liquid.

"You want another tea?" John asked.

"No, it tastes just as good cold." She told him before setting it aside on the sofa end table that was much closer and settled back against his side. His arm enclosed her again without comment; just like they used to so long ago. But, as she looked at the book he was reading she realised it wasn't 'War and Peace' as it so had often been when they were married, but his new book on Fatherhood.

She watched the fire for awhile as John quietly read; probably assuming she was asleep again. He finished a chapter and began flicking through the book, possibly looking for a specific page. She watched the pages slowly turn as he looked at them and then moved on. One picture caught her eye and she reached out to catch the page as it turned. He paused as she angled her head to see the page without interfering with his reading. He pulled the page back so she could see. It was a circular diagram showing the different stages of the baby's growth from tiny egg to the final stage of a fully grown baby.

John pointed to one of the pictures in the circle. "We're here."

Teyla nodded with a smile, brushing her fingers over the image before letting go of the page. John resumed his perusal through the book. Teyla watched the various interesting subjects pass slowly as he worked his way through the book looking for something.

"It looks a very good book." She commented sleepily.

"It's great. And written by a guy for guys. Full of helpful tips and advice." He joked.

One page had its corner turned, so she reached out to stop the page, and saw it was the start of the chapter on diet. He flicked on and she stopped a page again.

"Sex and Pregnancy?" She asked amused.

"That's a good chapter that one." John commented amused.

"I'm sure you've read it thoroughly." She joked. She had allowed herself to read up on that subject in the other pregnancy books currently in her room.

"There's diagrams and everything." He said with an encouraging tone.

She laughed against his chest and let go of the page and watched as he continued to turn pages. He paused dramatically to point out that there were several pages with diagrams designed to illustrate some possible sexual positions that could be used during pregnancy. She chuckled again.

"You didn't turn those page corners." She commented as he began to move on through the book.

"It's alright, I've memorised the page numbers." He replied.

She smiled as she watched the pages turning. Her eyes were growing heavy again, and his warmth and the new ease of things with him were relaxing her further. Her eyes closed again and she lightly napped this time; still listening to the sound of his breathing, the occasional turn of a page and the fire crackling in the background.

After some unknown length of time he shifted and she opened her eyes. The book was gone and the fire had dimmed considerably.

"Don't you think you would be more comfortable in bed, Teyla?" He suggested softly.

She eased back from him to rest against the back of the sofa, watching as he sat up looking at her, now free of her weight against him. His hands were on her legs she realised as she blinked sleepily up at him. "Okay." She replied. A big soft bed sounded great right now, but she didn't really want to leave his warmth just yet.

His eyes were dark in the dim light of the lounge as he smiled down at her. "You want me to carry you there?"

She slowly shook her head. "I'll make it." She slurred sleepily. "…just so comfortable here." She blinked her heavy eyelids and opened them to find him sitting even closer to her. He reached out and stroked his fingers down one of her cheeks, his gaze moving to her lips and then back up to her eyes.

"Come on sleepyhead, let's get you to bed." He said his voice deep, but he made no move to move her away from the sofa just yet.

She found herself watching his lips. His hand switched from stroking her cheek to gently slide around her neck and he wrapped his fingers around the base of her skull angling her head up slightly to meet his approaching lips. She inhaled through her open lips as he brushed his lips over hers, catching her lower lip gently. She leant forward into his kiss and opened her mouth more under his. His tongue swept into her mouth slowly to meet hers.

She heard herself whimper slightly as the kiss deepened, but it remained slow and thorough. Gradually the kiss slowed even further to a lazy sharing of breaths and lips softly gliding over each other. Eventually he moved back and she sighed with pleasure as she closed her eyes and licked her lips, sleepy once again. He murmured a light deep laugh and slid his hands down her arms to catch a hold of her hands.

"Come on, sweetheart. Time to sleep." He said his voice distant through her hazy pleasured doziness.

She nodded.

"In bed." He clarified and pulled gently on her hands, so she opened her eyes reluctantly and allowed him to help her upright. She let herself rest against his side as she stood up. "You want to sleep in my bed tonight?" He asked as he pushed some of her hair from her face. She nodded up at him and smiled, too tired to focus on the true importance of his offer.

"Just let me sort out the fire." He said as he let her go and headed towards the fireplace. She gathered enough mental clarity to turn to the lamp at the far end of the sofa and turned it off, the lounge now only lit by the dying fire and the moonlight on the snow through the windows. She waited till John finished tending the fire and walked back to her, guiding her before him down the hallway.

Teyla focused on the closed door that was his bedroom as she approached and pushed it open revealing a large comfortable looking bed the sheets and blanket untouched tonight. She made her way to the far side and pulled dozily at the covers. John helped from the far side and once there was enough space she crawled under the cool covers and settled down into the comfortable mattress. John turned back to shut the door and then climbed in beside her and she reached for his warmth. He lay on his back and wrapped his arm back around her as she pressed herself against him once again. She was asleep before she could reply to his whispered 'good night'.

--

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning:** Please note the rating of this fic before reading this chapter.

--

The early dawn light glistened off the new morning snow as John made his way carefully down the steps of the cabin. He slid his sunglasses into place and regarded the heavy snowfall that remained from last night. It would take more time than ever to clear the path and road out, but he needed to do it. In the distance he could see there were plenty of more snow clouds on the way, but not for the rest of the day. A part of him whispered to just go back to bed, to snuggle back up to the sleeping Teyla. But, the more sensible military trained part of him told him to get out here and clear this snow away. What if they needed to leave quickly? After yesterday's minor crisis in the city he was even less willing to ignore the possibilities. What if Teyla needed to get to a Doctor? He knew it was unlikely that anything would happen, but he had to be prepared in case the unforeseen occurred. Just like a good military man.

He stepped down into the knee high snow and sighed. The bed looked so very good right now. In fact he was amazed that he was even up so early. He had woken with Teyla tucked up to him; her backside nestled into his groin and his arms around her. In his deepest sleep his body made its opinion very clear; he was happy she was back and even more so that she back in his bed. He had enjoyed her presence against him, watching as the rising sunlight through the window had gradually revealed the details of her lying beside him. He had pressed his nose to the side of her neck and inhaled her unique smell, and remembered all those mornings he had woken her with a kiss to her throat, willing her wake and into some playtime before either of them had been due on duty.

He had refrained from repeating that old habit this morning, though he was still a little disappointed with himself for not. He looked down at the snow around him and decided that some good solid hard work would help. So he began to shovel the snow away, his mind separating itself from the labour and back to the woman all warm and fast asleep in his bed.

He had really enjoyed last night. She had been all soft and affectionate; welcoming his touch and kiss with a lazy dark expression that had pulled him in, useless to resist. Not that he was complaining. Hell, it had been great and somewhere in that lingering passionate kiss he had found the courage to ask her back into his bed and she had, not even taking a second to think about it. Maybe she had been too tired to see the significance? That reason and that alone had made him cautious this morning. Had encouraged him to pull away from her tempting body and out into the cold. He wasn't sure how things would be between them this morning, or rather how she would act and how he would feel about it all. God, when had he become such a sap? What was it about Teyla that made him so cautious? Doctor Greesham had suggested that perhaps it was because she meant so much to John; that he handled her carefully and warily in case he made a wrong move, especially now. They had almost ruined their marriage and he wasn't going to do anything to muck up their slow return to trust and partnership. God, now he was sounding like a chick flick!

All the memory replays and internal self-contemptuous talk made the time pass very quickly and in no time at all he had cleared the path and most of the track. He stood up right and checked his watch; he had been out here for an hour and was almost done. But, he was sweaty and hot from his work. He looked back at the cabin and watched a wisp of smoke rise from the chimney into the cold morning air. It would be all warm in there when he got back. He could take a shower, have breakfast and spend the day inside with Teyla. Colin had a load of board games and cards hidden away in the cabin, maybe John could persuade Teyla to sit in the lounge and play some games for awhile. They used to play cards long ago he remembered as he returned to the last part of his work. She had joined the women's poker nights and had asked if they could play together for practice. He had agreed, always happy to help out his wife; as long as they played strip poker. He smiled now wondering if he could suggest they play that again today. Maybe he should wait a couple of days to ease into that suggestion.

And then the work was done. He surveyed his handiwork, amazed at his fast thorough work. So, he headed back to the cabin and entered the warm home. Stripping off his thick coat, gloves and boots he decided he definitely needed a shower, so he headed back towards the bedroom.

He pushed the door open silently, peering in to see if she was still asleep. Teyla rolled onto her back under the sheets and looked up at him as he entered.

"Mornin'." John greeted her sleepy smile.

"Good morning." She replied.

He pulled off his jumper and enjoyed the view of Teyla lying in his bed. "I'm gonna take a shower. You need to use the bathroom first?" He offered.

She considered it for a moment. "Yes, I will. Thank you." She pulled the sheets aside revealing that her top had ridden up to reveal part of her belly. John's eyes latched onto the brief partial glimpse of her new shaped stomach before she turned and sat up, the top falling back into place. She got up slowly, stretching as she did, her back arching. He had forgotten how much he used to enjoy watching her get up in the mornings. Her hair was all loose around her shoulders, slightly untidy from her sleep and he had the strong compulsion to run his hands all through it all.

She stepped around the end of the bed passing him on the way out of the room. She smiled up at him as she reached him and paused lifting up on her toes to kiss him good morning. He met the kiss a little surprised, but happily enough. The kiss was brief and then she was moving towards the door and he angled his head to watch her hips sway out of the room. His libido was fully back in action. He felt a strange sense of relief at its return. His sex drive had been in the toilet for a long time, other than one fateful night with Teyla four months ago. The dreams he had had of her these past months had been passionate, but lacking in that raw sexual need that was now reasserting itself. Thank god, he had worried it may never return. Now, he just had to wait to see how things progressed between them. He was happy to wait, after all things seemed to be improving between them so quickly now.

With a renewed sense of peace he began to pull off his clothes, stripping down to his boxers. He would have a nice shower and then have breakfast with his wife. He headed out into the hallway to see if she had finished in the bathroom and saw that the door was open, so he wandered down to it. She was brushing her teeth over the washbasin.

"Still like hogging the bathroom I see." He teased as he entered.

She lifted her eyes to meet his in the mirror in front of her and smiled with bubbles around her mouth.

He turned to the bath above which the shower head was set and began to ready it; pulling aside the curtain and dropping the non-slip mat down into the bath. She moved out of his way to stand beside the basin as she spat out the toothpaste and began rinsing out her mouth.

"I seem to remember you spending just as much time in the bathroom; preparing your hair." She teased back.

He looked round at her trying to look offended. "It is a burden I have to deal with everyday." He said back, his eyes falling to her top which had once again ridden up slightly. He couldn't quite see enough to see the outline of her belly.

"What?" She asked and he shot his eyes back up to her face.

"Nothing." He replied slightly embarrassed he had gotten caught looking at the bump. He turned to the cupboard set in the wall opposite the bath and pulled out two warmed towels.

"I thought we had agreed to share with each other now." She said, her tone light, but insistent.

He turned with his towels towards her. "It's silly. Nothing important to share." He waved aside her interest and dropped the towels down on the side ready for when he got out of the shower.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "John." Somehow she made the word sound like both a warning and an encouragement.

He rolled his eyes and turned to her. "It's nothing. I was just," he waved vaguely at her stomach, "looking for the bump."

She looked down at her own stomach and looked back up at him with a soft smile. "That is not silly." She told him. She turned and dropped her purple toothbrush into the holder beside his blue one, before turning back to him and reached for the hem of her shirt, lifting it up unselfconsciously to show him her belly. And just like that he had what he wanted; a chance to see her and the new change to her shape that their child was creating. Maybe there really was something in this whole sharing thing.

His eyes took in her new form. He had imagined her stomach to look like she had just put on some weight, but there was a very distinct contour to her. A clear shape extending her belly outwards, the bump rounded and still relatively small.

She reached out a hand towards him and he let her take his hand and place it over the highest point of her stomach. Her skin was warm and full of life. He edged closer and smiled up at her. It had been awhile since he had touched her anywhere other than her hand or arm, but the memory of how she felt under his hand returned. He moved even closer, and looked down at the bump without restraint now.

"Does it hurt?" He found himself asking.

"No. I can feel the baby moving slightly at times." She added.

"Really?" He asked as he pressed his hand flatter over her skin now, wishing he could feel something from their child within. "What does it feel like?" He asked.

"Like flutters inside mostly." She rested against the washbasin slightly and tucked the hem of her top into the neckline of the top so she didn't have to hold up the fabric anymore.

John slid his hand over her belly, tracing out to the edge of the swell and followed it down one side and back up. He was fascinated by the shape of her and tried to imagine how she would look when she would grow larger. He realised he was stroking over her skin without saying anything and looked up at her nervous for a moment.

"This okay?" He asked.

She smiled at him and nodded. He looked back down and resumed his perusal of her new form and she lifted a hand to his bare chest gently stroking her fingers through his chest hair lightly. Her touch was nice, but it didn't distract him from feeling all of her belly. Once he was satisfied that he had seen all he wanted to and had explored the new shape he looked back up to her face. Her eyes lifted from his chest, full of feminine appreciation. He was surprised to see the hooded look in her eyes as she met his gaze. He remembered that look and what it meant. He quirked an eyebrow at her as she stroked her hand over his chest again. Electricity leapt between them, the atmosphere of the small bathroom becoming charged around them.

He dropped his eyes giving her a long once over, enjoying the subtle shift in her weight as she moved her hips slightly against the washbasin behind her. His palm was still lying over her belly and when she drew in a deep breath he felt her stomach expand. He looked back up to her eyes and slid his hand down off her bump to the waistband of her pyjamas. Her eyes widened and her lips parted slightly in clear anticipation. He focused on her full lower lip as he slid his hand down under the waistband and cupped her gently. She leant forward into his touch and inhaled sharply. His own arousal leapt up a few hundred knots at that and he licked his lips as he studied her darkened eyes as they danced over his body and up to meet his gaze once again.

She smiled at him sexily and he pressed his hand further against her, parting her and sinking his fingers into her folds. She gasped.

"Teyla." He whispered feeling how very ready she was. She rolled her hips gently and wrapped a hand round his forearm, silently encouraging him to deepen his touch. He had no problem with that. He pressed deeper, sliding into her willing opening and she almost came undone then. She whimpered and moaned in response, reaching for him, her hands stroking over his chest and sides to his back. He stepped in closer to her, seeking her mouth which she hungrily opened for him. This kiss made no compunction about being anything but raw and carnal in its need.

John wrapped his free arm around her pulling her away from the washbasin and up against him. His groin throbbed with need and he slid another finger into her, begging her to open more for him. She groaned and clutched at his hair and back, the edges of her nails digging into his skin. She was about ready to come apart and he planned to enjoy every minute of it.

He turned them, pressing her back against the bathroom wall and stroked his fingers into her as he kissed her throat. She groaned, arching her demanding body against him. He kissed her throat down to where he remembered to be a special spot. He gently sucked on where her neck met her shoulder and she bucked against him, her gasps hot in his ear. He sucked again as he pulled his hand from her and began pulling her pyjamas down from her hips, letting them fall to the floor at her feet. She whimpered rolling her hips begging for his touch once again, but he released her and stood back just enough to pull her top up over her head, finally revealing her entirely naked form. He didn't pause to study her, but settled back against her, careful of her lower belly and made his way kissing down her front, taking in the new larger breasts, taking time to lick over her hard nipples.

She ran her hands constantly through his hair, around his neck and over his shoulders. He moved on down from her breasts and she wriggled against him with a moan as he licked down her middle, over the new swell of her belly, pausing to pay a little lavish attention to her bellybutton. He dropped to his knees and lifted one of her legs over his shoulder as he set his mouth where he really wanted it.

She flew apart with a glorious cry, panting his name as he tasted her, one of her hands clenched tightly in his hair. She shuddered above him through her release, but he didn't let up his gentle assault, sliding his fingers back into her. Her hands dropped to his shoulders and he felt the strength go out of her to remain standing so he reached up and pulled her down to him, as he sat back onto his heels.

She came down over him, her mouth hotly seeking his. The kiss was intense as was the feeling of her naked body settling down onto his lap and her hands pulling at the waistband of his boxers. He lifted enough to pull them down and free himself and she broke the kiss long enough to rise up over him. He guided himself to her entrance and she pressed down over him.

John closed his eyes against the torrent of sensation that almost pushed him to breaking point. He breathed in deeply and focused for a moment on anything other than the hot woman over and around him. He opened his eyes to her laughing sexy eyes, and she shifted on him, wrapping her arms around his neck and she moved in for another kiss. He groaned as he met the kiss and clamped his hands on her hips, trying to slow her down just a little bit. She chuckled into the kiss and he groaned at her again and pulled back from her mouth.

"You're gonna kill me if you keep this up." He muttered as he pulled back and then thrust up into her and watched as her laughing eyes glossed over. Revenge was sweet.

"John." She gasped and he repeated the movement thoroughly enjoying the way her eyes were practically rolling back into her head from the pleasure.

She adjusted her arms around him, gaining leverage against his shoulders and began to move on him in time with him. Things sped up quickly as he worked hard to keep himself from coming and to push her to hers. She ground against him and arched back from him, her upper body bending slightly back from him and he wrapped an arm around her to support her back. With his other hand he stroked from her open gasping mouth down her throat, between her breasts, down over her sexy new stomach and down to where they met each other. He touched her only briefly there and she climaxed, digging her nails into his shoulders, breaking the skin. She tightened around him and he swore with the intensity and he let go and climaxed into her, milked by her into complete release.

She collapsed forward into his arms as he rocked back, moving backward to sit on the bathroom floor, his back resting against the cold bathtub. She lay panting in his lap, her head tucked into his shoulder and her hands still clenching his sides. He panted himself as he worked to regain his composure, his higher brain functions slowly returning. He ran his hands up and down her naked back and sides, her skin so familiar and new again under his touch. She shuddered slightly with cold, so he lifted her hips up off him and she settled across his lap, her head still on his shoulder. He reached up and found the two towels he had left by the bath and pulled them down arranging them around her to keep them both warm.

Their breathing had slowed enough now and he licked his drying lips. He needed some water, and then realised there was a dampness on his shoulder. He nudged her slightly into his left arm, pulling her head away from his shoulder and looked down at her upturned wet eyes. He stroked the few tears from her cheek with his thumb, worried about her but she smiled up at him.

He wanted to ask her if the tears were of joy, but instead he leant down to where she was nestled in his arm and kissed her. She cupped his cheek in her hand as she kissed him back with such feeling that he felt intensely emotional himself. He put all that emotion into the kiss, communicating to her how much he had missed her and how much he loved her.

They parted and John kissed the tip of her nose and each cheek before looking down at her again. Her tears had stopped, but he could see the emotion was still very much on the surface.

"I've missed you so much, Teyla." He whispered and her eyes grew watery again.

She reached up and stroked her fingertips down his cheek and over his lips.

"I am so sorry about what happened." She whispered back. "I never meant to lose you."

"I should have fought for us." John said.

"We both should have." She said her eyes clearer now. She smiled once more and then snuggled down under the towel some more.

"You getting cold?" He asked. "Because my butt sure is." He added.

She laughed, that bright feminine full laugh that he had been wanting so long to hear again. She made to move from him, but he tightened his hold on her long enough to kiss her briefly once more. Then they carefully climbed upright amidst scattered clothes and towels.

"I think I should join you for that shower." She said.

John regarded his naked satisfied wife. "I don't know; I kind of like the idea of going back to bed for awhile." He said and pulled her very willingly back into the hallway and down to the bedroom.

--

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Note:** Correct spelling of 'manner' included as a thank you to igfbss (though you may like to know there were a couple of spelling errors in your message! What a good pair we make).

--

John slowly and gently swam out of his dreaming, the sounds and smells around him tickling his senses. He became aware of the small enclosed space around him, the light pressure against his skin and against his ears reminding him where he was. It was good to simply wake nowadays without the fear and terror of a nightmare chasing him back into consciousness. And to wake up to the familiar and long missed sensation of flying made it even more enjoyable, even if it was to the sounds of a commercial aeroplane not a fighter jet, chopper or the eerie silence of a Jumper.

He stayed sleepily still now and listened to the sound of the engines, and enjoyed the slight pressure on his body, that wondrous feeling he always got when he was flying. He missed this. He loved this, even if he wasn't the pilot.

Above the sound of the engines, he became aware of the hushed constant sound of people around him. Someone behind his seat was tapping away on a laptop, whilst another was talking quickly and succinctly into a phone about buying assets. A couple further away were talking with a flight attendant, obviously so excited about their trip they wanted to share it all with the woman as she poured out coffee for them both. And then beside him he heard the distinctive sound of magazine pages turning.

John opened his eyes gradually taking in the enclosed space around him and the small window to his left displaying the most wonderful scene of passing clouds passing beneath them. He watched the layers of clouds sleepily for awhile, the talking around him a faint background sound. Teyla turned another magazine page, cutting his attention away from drifting amongst the clouds, and he pulled his eyes from the window to her sitting on his other side.

He had insisted on paying for First Class tickets, wanting her to experience flying in the best possible light and it also gave her and her belly more space. John rested his head against the headrest and regarded her as she frowned down at the magazine she held in her hands.

She seemed to sense his attention and looked round at him smiling. "Did you sleep well?" She asked.

"Yep." He smiled in return.

They had been travelling for almost an entire day and somehow she still looked as fresh as when they had left the cabin. He had hated leaving the cabin which had been his hide away for six months, and the place where he and Teyla had finally resolved their issues. He was going to miss that large bed most of all.

"What?" She asked suspiciously.

He realised he had been smiling whilst thinking about the cabin bed. They had spent far too many hours between its sheets, not that he was complaining. Not only had they had lost time to make up, but Teyla's increased sexual appetite had kicked in this last month big time. Again, not that he was complaining in the least. On their last night in the cabin John had innocently asked her whether she would like beef or chicken for dinner and she had instead told him exactly what she wanted from him in electrifying detail. He had been only too happy to help.

Teyla blushed lightly and nudged him with her elbow, obviously aware in which direction his thoughts had turned. He tried to look innocent, but was obviously unsuccessful as she rolled her eyes and looked back down at the magazine. He chuckled.

The flight attendant appeared at the end of the row at which they sat her smile polite and cheerful.

"Can I bring you anything to drink?" She asked.

Teyla asked for some more water and John ordered a black coffee with sugar. He was going to need it once they landed; they still had a drive to the SGC to look forward to. He took the coffee from the attendant and watched her give Teyla a particularly happy smile. He had been amused and fascinated to witness how many women gave Teyla that smile, a female look of understanding and joy for her being pregnant. She also got the best seats and more space in which to stand in queues he had noticed, and she wasn't even all that big yet. John wondered if it was a human behavioural thing or if it was the glowing contented look on her face.

He had found himself feeling immensely proud walking along with his pregnant wife and had taken great delight not only in their renewed closeness but in the male stares she drew. Of course those would be suitors soon saw that she was not only pregnant, but holding John's hand and would look away, leaving John feeling extra satisfied. He guessed that was a male behavioural thing. The book said fathers could get very protective and he was certainly feeling that, but now with a major touch of pride. He felt like saying to people, 'look at my gorgeous pregnant wife and she actually loves me!' That last part was still a little too amazing and he felt slightly embarrassed to be thinking it, knowing Teyla would probably quite literally kick his ass for thinking so little of himself. He suspected she could still easily kick his ass even now, and he had no intention of finding out.

The caffeine was kicking in now, his head clearing and his body waking properly. He shifted more upright in his seat encouraging his limbs to wake, his muscles to move and circulation to improve. He stretched up, and yawned. He was feeling much better for that sleep and for the coffee. He looked at his watch and noted that they would be landing soon. Turning to Teyla he saw that she was frowning down at the chick magazine again.

"You still reading that same magazine?" He asked amused.

"It has been very insightful." She said with a teasing smile on her face. "I now know all about the latest fashions, where to take your holiday this year and how to ask your employer for a pay rise."

He chuckled at her. "All very important I'm sure." He said sarcastically.

She went back to turning pages. "You might be interested to know we scored top marks in the 'How good is your sex life quiz?'"

"Really?" He asked suddenly interested. "I could have told you that."

"We are 'Hot Hot Hot' apparently, but there were some tips on how to improve things further." She was trying to contain the smile threatening to take over her lips.

"What kind of tips?" He asked lowering his tone so no one could over hear them.

"And suddenly you are more interested in the magazine." She said smiling, as she turned quickly through the last pages of adverts for phone lines, personals and all the promises of cosmetic surgery.

"I'm interested in that part of the magazine. Let me see." He said, reaching for the magazine as she closed it.

She let him take it. "Page thirty." She told him.

He lifted an eyebrow at her, amused and a little excited that she had memorised the page number.

After five minutes of reading during which the cabin crew announced they would be landing in a further five minutes John sat back and closed the magazine.

"Damn it." He muttered.

Teyla looked round as she secured her safety belt as instructed by the blinking lights above their heads. "What?"

"We're gonna be staying at the SGC tonight."

"Yes?" She asked.

"We can't try these out there, besides we would need some supplies." She laughed with him as he looked thoughtful. "I should make a list, take you shopping again soon."

She took the magazine from him and returned it to her bag as he set about securing his own belt.

"Are we going to rent a car when we land or did…Home Base say they would send a car in the end?" She asked.

"They were going to, but I said we'd rent a car. Then we won't be limited by their drivers."

There was a pause in conversation, during which John watched with a professional eye as the plane dropped steadily down through the clouds. It didn't matter how many years he had spent flying, he still loved the experience like he was a young kid again.

Teyla stroked her hand down his arm that was resting between them to take his hand. "You miss this." She stated.

He looked back to see if she meant holding his hand, but she nodded towards the window.

"A little." He said casually. She lifted an eyebrow at him that said she could see right through his act. "Okay yes, I love it." He smiled and looked back out at the approaching landscape beneath them.

"Are you sure you want to give up flying in… the old base's planes?" She meant the Jumpers.

He sighed. "I loved them, the best experience you could ask for as a pilot, but I missed feeling the G's though." He rubbed his thumb over her hand as he turned to her. He studied her face once again worrying about what was to come once they reached the SGC. "Are you sure about your decision?" He asked her again.

She smiled. "Yes, John. For the hundredth time, yes."

He stroked his thumb over the softness of the back of her hand again and tried not to withdraw into himself. "I just want you to be sure." He said quietly to her. "You may not see your people for a long time."

"Home Base will let me visit them. What is important to me is that we stay together and that we can bring up our child without the constant threat of the… vampires." She whispered the last word, John's personal code for the Wraith.

He let the amusement from the term die away and regarded her seriously again. "I just don't want you to regret the decision. Not being completely honest with each other was the problem last time and I don't want to repeat that mistake."

"I am being honest with you, John." She told him patiently. "I do miss my people, but our future is what is important."

The plane began to shake slightly as it descended further through the clouds. She looked past him to watch the landing through the window, but John kept watching her. The plane touched down with a shudder and John waited for the front wheels to touch down before he spoke to her again.

"I feel like a coward for not wanting to go back to the city." He said plainly, just loud enough for her to hear over the rushing sound of the brakes.

The fascinated expression on her face from watching the landing disappeared as she turned to him. "You are not a coward, John." She stated, her tone slightly angry. "You are choosing your family over returning to the base." She stated.

He liked the new term of 'his family' and its wealth of meaning for him. "If we did go back I…I would worry that what happened before between us could happen again." He confessed. Around them the plane trembled as it slowed across the runway.

She squeezed his hand. "We have learnt from what we did wrong and will not allow that to happen again. We are stronger now. And the circumstances have changed anyway."

John reached over with his free hand and rubbed his palm over the top of her bump. "Yes they have." He replied with a soft smile, but it dropped from his face again as his worries still circled his mind.

"What is it, John?" Teyla asked. Around them people began to gather their things, preparing to depart as the plane taxied towards the airport. The increased sound around them helped John in speaking about this, making the small space around them feel more private as they wouldn't be so easily over heard. It was a strange place to be having this discussion, but he wasn't sure that he would be able to start the conversation again if they waited till they were alone.

"I don't want you to have to give up being with your people to be with me. Maybe I should live on New Athos with you." He told her.

"I am choosing to look after my family and in doing so I honour my people and continue their bloodline." She tightened her hold on his hand turning towards him as best as she could in the seat. "I grew up always afraid John. I watched my entire family be taken from me one by one. I will not allow my child to grow up like that, not if I can bring them up in a place free of that constant fear."

John hated the thought of what Teyla had gone through in her life. So often it was easy to forget the difficult and dangerous life she had lived before he knew her, but it was no less true for him forgetting it.

"I want you to be sure about living here." He stressed.

"I fell in love with a man from…America. And I choose to stay with him and bring up our child together. I want to be able to visit my people as often as I am allowed, to stay close to them and for our child to know their heritage."

Relief and affection welled up in John as the plane finally came to a stop, people standing up from their seats around them. "I want that too." He replied.

She smiled brightly and leant in to kiss him. He kept it going as long as was publically acceptable and they parted with a smile.

They had talked about this enough and John was happy that she was certain on her choice to remain on Earth with him if he wanted to stay. In truth he wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to do, but he felt ready to confront his future now.

"Okay. Let's go get ourselves a car and go sort out our future." John announced with a flourish.

"After we collect our luggage." She added as they undid their belts and stood.

"Yes, that's very important too, good thinking." John added with an amused smile.

--

It had been less than two months since Teyla had last been at the SGC, but as John pulled the rented car into their allocated parking space, she reflected that it felt like she had not been here for much longer than that. The wide open spaces around them were filled with barbed wire, patrolling soldiers and lines of cars. She missed the cabin once again. But, it was time to move on with their lives, to plan ahead and decide where they were to live.

As she climbed out of the vehicle she watched as John stood straighter, his military persona falling back into place. It was a persona of his that she had known longer than any other, and for a moment she wished that they could remain in their close intimate space, just the two of them with nothing more to worry about than what to eat and what name to call their child when it was born.

Yet, as he had to step up to his decision, so did she. She would not want to live out her life hidden away in the mountains. Life was calling them back and she would meet it head on, standing alongside John. So she walked alongside John towards the personnel entrance and felt herself also falling into her 'work mode' as John referred to it.

Once inside and past the check points, they joined a group of wide eyed young soldiers in the elevator and descended down into the depths of the mountain. The men around them stood stiffly, aware they were in the presence of a Colonel. She felt the enclosed, almost claustrophobic, sensation she always felt upon entering this base return and she shifted uncomfortably into the corner of the small space. John looked round at her, sensing her unease in some way. She smiled to reassure him. His eyes wandered over her face for a moment, checking her colour maybe, then he too smiled briefly and looked away.

They had dropped hands upon entering the base and stood slightly further apart, as affectionate husband was not the image a Colonel should be displaying on base. She agreed, but it did not stop the desire to reach out to him and try and add her support to him now. He looked in control and in command again, but she knew that did not solve his internal worries. He was so very good at hiding his emotions, but she could see through it all. She always had been able to, and that had been part of their problem before. He had admitted as much to her lately; that her ability to 'get under his skin' and to 'see into him', had made him feel more vulnerable and closed off from her. He had retreated from her even more during their difficulties last year, as he felt transparent to her and she had appeared so strong and in control. She had told him she had not felt that way herself and that perhaps that was the reason why she had rejected him physically back then. For in those moments of the deepest intimacy she was unable to hide from him, she let go and revealed her innermost loves and emotions. He would have seen how much she was hurt and had felt betrayed and angry at him.

All this they had discussed in detail over this past month and a half. They had talked about how they had felt, why they had done what they did and ultimately both forgave each other and themselves for almost ruining their marriage.

Teyla looked at him now in the tight space of the elevator and saw the strong, quietly intelligent man that was her husband. The thin scar down the side of his face, the only visible sign of his long months of capture, made her remember that much had changed though. He was a different man, a stronger more open man now. In his eyes she could see what the experiences with the Genii had done to him and though he said he felt like a coward she could see nothing but strength. He had survived all that suffering and was once again standing tall and proud.

His nightmares had almost gone as well. Once they had begun sleeping together again she had come up immediately against the frightening night time experiences he had been enduring alone. He would wake terrified, his eyes scanning the darkness of the bedroom for an enemy that was not there, and would never be there except in his mind, in his memories and in his dreams. He had tried to leave the bed in those moments, embarrassed and worried about talking with her. But, she had insisted he stay in the bed with her. At first she had just held him as he slowly relaxed and recovered from his nightmare. He had used that time to turn his fear into something good by seducing her in the darkness. She had enjoyed that for many nights, giving him the connection and love he so needed, but then she had begun to stop him, instead cradling his head against her chest and asked him to talk to her about his nightmares, about his cruel memories from his capture.

At first he had resisted, not wanting to frighten or worry her, but with gentle persistence she had opened him up. He had rested his strong form against hers in bed, his hands tight on her and he had told her what she wanted to know. He had told her of how he had been treated, how he had felt, what he had had to do to survive. During those late night confession sessions she had shed many tears for him as she held him silently, her hands in his hair or soothing over his shoulders and back.

Then gradually the nightmares began to stop. When he did have a nightmare now it was a paler version of what he had been suffering through these long months. He had shared what he feared and it had helped him to address those fears and move on with his life. That she was there, and pregnant with their child, helped him she was sure. He enjoyed stroking his palm over her growing belly at night as they cuddled up. The darkness and past mistakes were not forgotten, but they had been left behind. It was time for new beginnings and to celebrate life.

The elevator door opened and they exited with the soldiers, who let them out first. A younger man in a suit was waiting for them and told them General Landry would see John in an hour's time and suggested they might like to get something to eat while they wait.

They had almost reached the doors to the cafeteria when a familiar voice rang out behind them.

"Sheppard? Teyla?" The voice sparkled through Teyla and she turned to see Rodney walking quickly towards them.

"Rodney?!" She called out in return and moved to meet him. He looked well. His face was bright with undisguised pleasure at seeing them and he wrapped his arms around her in return. She had missed him, especially missing their continued friendship after John had been taken. He pulled back, his eyes dropping to her grown belly and he smiled again. Then John was there next to them, clapping Rodney on the back.

"Rodney? What you doing here?" The two men performed a half hug that Teyla worked not to laugh at. They were obviously both so happy to see each other, but embarrassed at showing it.

"You didn't hear already?" Rodney replied. "We've been chucked out."

"Chucked out of what?" John demanded.

"We discovered a ship of Ancients and they kicked us out of Atlantis." Rodney replied, sounding understandably put out.

"What? Why?" John demanded again.

"They wanted their city back, but they're allowing us to send science teams back when we want. They appear open to dialogue and such. We only just returned yesterday. I was on my way to meet the guys for lunch." Rodney waved towards the cafeteria doors. "Come on, they're all here."

Teyla and John followed him into the small concrete room to see the familiar faces turn and look up. Doctor Weir, Carson, Zelenka and Major Lorne all stood with smiles abound to greet them. Teyla embraced Elizabeth and then Carson. Both stared down her belly in delight, before moving on to embrace John as well. The hugs and hellos complete they all sat down around the table together.

"You heard from Ronon?" Was John's first question as they settled down. The question had been on Teyla's lips.

"Yes, he and his army of Wraith fighters have made quite a mark back in Pegasus. He said to say 'Hey' to you if we saw you again." Elizabeth replied.

"It is so good to see you all." Teyla said brightly, her heart happy.

"It's great to see you too, Teyla." Elizabeth replied, and Carson nodded beside her. Both their expressions changed slightly then, their eyes sliding from her to John and back again. Teyla realised they had no idea how things stood between her and John and they were openly curious. "More of you than before." Elizabeth added, her smiling eyes dropping to Teyla's belly again.

John reached over and slid his hand over her stomach and smiled. "Yep, you should see how much she eats now."

The others laughed and Carson made some comment about pregnant appetites. Teyla felt the shift in the group. They had all been curious and were happy to see that she and John were at least getting along again and looking forward to their child being born. She was sure Elizabeth would ask more later, but for now the issue had been addressed.

John's hand slid from her. "On that note, do you want something to eat?" He asked leaning in closer to her and with a sparkle in his eyes he said "Rodney tells me there's beef stew or chicken stir-fry."

After a beat in which she was sure she must have blushed she asked for the chicken. He smiled and headed off with Rodney to get some food.

The next hour was spent in wonderful conversation, laughter, recounting of all adventures and merciless teasing of Rodney on John's part. Eventually John was called off to see General Landry. Teyla watched him leave, his eyes on her as he exited the room, but his expression was more hopeful than before. She only prayed that all would work out for the best. And that if the expedition to Atlantis had indeed been recalled entirely then at least John would no longer have to choose to stay or to go.

--

The massive highly polished surface of the SGC conference room glistened before John as he waited for the General. He tried not to fidget, but he was nervous. Last night he had had a dream in which Landry and General O'Neill had fired him and had torn his wings from his uniform before kicking him out into the snow covered landscape. That was unlikely to happen, but he was still dreading this meeting.

The far door opened and John stood bolt upright as General Landry strode in. "Sorry, to keep you Colonel Sheppard." He began, his face bright. A good sign. "Take a seat."

John relaxed and waited till the General had taken his seat opposite him before he sat down.

"You are looking well, Colonel." Landry began, his interlinked hands coming to a rest over a folder on the table before him.

"Yes, Sir." John drilled out.

"I have a report from a Doctor Greesham here." John's eyes fell to the folder. "He's very pleased with your recovery and has recommended that you are able to return to full time duty at your discretion."

Greesham had told John as much, but it was still good to hear that the same message had been received here as was told to him.

"Yes, Sir."

Landry sat back, his manner relaxing. "How is your wife?"

The slight turn in conversation threw John for a moment. "She's very well. Thank you."

"Congratulations by the way on your impending fatherhood." Landry said with a smile.

"Thank you."

"I guess the news may have changed your plans for the future?"

"Yes, it has." John admitted.

"As you no doubt already know, the Atlantis expedition has been withdrawn. In response to that we have opened up some more positions here at the SGC for off world teams. There will also be several new research and scientific programmes starting soon in response to the Ancients in Pegasus' apparent willingness to discuss technology with them."

"Really?" John was a little surprised to hear that.

Landry nodded in agreement. "I was doubtful as well, Colonel. But, it appears that though they will not actually tell us anything, they will answer questions and be available for culture exchange programmes."

John wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but at least it sounded like the expedition wouldn't be a total loss now if they could gain knowledge and technology from the surviving Ancients.

"All that means that we will have several different opportunities available on Earth for a man of your experience and rank, Colonel. That is if you are going to be staying on Earth?" He asked directly.

John took a breath. "If Teyla and I stayed here on Earth, would she be able to visit her people on New Athos?"

"I don't see why not. The Ancients appear willing to let us visit regularly and I am sure if we time your visits to when a science team visits there should be no problem." John felt something relax inside.

"Then, Teyla and I would like to stay on Earth."

Landry appeared pleased with that answer. "Excellent. Right, then the matter stands as to which position you would like to take. A position on an off world team operating from the SGC stands open for you anytime, however there is another position you may find more tempting, especially given your new family situation."

That caught John's attention. Landry sat forward again. "As you know we have a training programme established to supply Earth Defence and SGC with correctly trained personnel. There is a position available as an instructor for you if you so wish. It will include all aspects of training including flight training." John felt a smile creeping across his lips. "However, there will be another aspect of the role you may enjoy. Area 51 will be beginning a project to develop Earth ships equivalent to the Ancient Jumpers. Doctor McKay will be leading the project out of Area 51. The Ancients have allowed us to keep several Jumpers, and the project will require pilots, especially those with Jumper flight experience. I don't think there is anyone else more experienced than you in that regard?"

Excitement flared through John. "Thank you, Sir." Ideas and possibilities began to stir in his mind. Also he could privately admit he would enjoy working alongside old teammates from Atlantis.

"Also, once she is able, there are many people who would welcome the knowledge and experience your wife has to offer. There would be a position available for her at the training base and many of our scientists have already expressed interest in talking with her about her people, her Wraith genetics and her knowledge of the Pegasus Galaxy."

John tried not to smile too much.

"Of course take some time to discuss it with Teyla. I am sure you will both need to find somewhere to live and time to catch up with those from Atlantis." Landry stood up from the table. John stood up in response, still slightly stunned at the turn of events. "It's good to have you back, Colonel." The General said with a smile and turned to leave. "Let me know what you decide."

"I will. Thank you, General." John called out after him.

--

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

**Spoilers:** The Return, but with my AU twist.

--

The night was dark and oppressively still around Teyla as she struggled her enlarged form out of the bathroom and down the hallway. She had been woken from her light sleep by what felt like the now ever present need to pee. The baby, apparently happy her bladder was now empty, shifted down and pressed more heavily downwards and Teyla sighed. She reached the bedroom door and paused. John lay fast asleep, undisturbed by her restlessness. It was a regular event, but he had developed the wonderful ability to massage her back in the middle of the night even if he was barely awake. Tonight, a back massage wasn't going to help, so she turned from her husband's handsome relaxed face and made her way to the stairs.

Carefully she descended their staircase, taking her time, her hand on the railing as she headed down to make herself a cup of tea. John had insisted she always be careful going down the stairs now she was almost nine months pregnant and so much larger. She had brushed off his nervous cautions before, but now she really was feeling like the beached whale she had seen on the news the other day, so she clung to the railing as she slowly took her time down the stairs.

At the bottom she turned to enter their warmly decorated kitchen. She enjoyed this room, the large windows catching the bright colours they had decorated the space with. Tonight moonlight filtered in through around the window blinds and she flicked on the subtle lights set over the worktop.

The baby shifted again and she felt a slight squeezing sensation. She had been experiencing what were called Braxton Hicks contractions lately, which were practice contractions that could begin months before the end of pregnancy. She did not concern herself with this one, as she had another week till her due date, and first time mothers usually carried beyond their due date. But, that did not help the fact that she felt so uncomfortable and restless tonight.

The tea made, she stretched her back as best as she could, and began pacing the kitchen rubbing her lower back, which seemed to help.

The phone suddenly rang through the silent house and she jumped with fright. After a moment to regain her breath she quickly reached for the ringing handset, though no doubt John was already waking upstairs.

"Hello?" Teyla answered, knowing who it would be.

"This is Home Base, this is a secure line. May I have your clearance number and password?" The stern sounding voice asked from the other end.

Teyla rattled off her clearance details she had been given by the SGC.

"Thank you, madam. There is a High Priority situation at Home Base. Is the Colonel home as well?"

"Yes." Teyla replied, wondering where else they expected him to be at three in the morning if he wasn't with them.

"You are both required at Home Base ASAP, but considering your current physical condition-"

"We will be there shortly." Teyla cut into the voice and put the phone down before any further protestations could be made. If she heard the phrase 'not in your condition' or 'not whilst you're pregnant' one more time she may have to hurt someone.

The stairs creaked from the hallway and John appeared through the kitchen doorway, eyes bleary. "SGC?" He asked.

She put her tea down and set about preparing a coffee for him. "High Priority situation at the SGC, we are both needed there asap."

"Both of us?" John said doubtfully. She could hear his protective streak kicking in, but she was in no mood to hear it tonight.

"I said we were on our way." She glared at him intently and still slightly sleepily he frowned at her nervously. They had had a couple of fights these past weeks over how much she should be doing. She had been regularly travelling with him to Area 51 to talk about her experiences with the Wraith and often to the SGC to help Carson in his genetic research. John had not been happy with how much she had been doing, and it was obvious to everyone she knew that she was getting stroppy with her inability to move at her former pace. She understood John's protectiveness and he was right in many respects, but it did not make her feel any better.

"If they wish my presence then it will mean something has occurred back in Pegasus. Maybe to my people, or it may be the Wraith." She told him. "My due date is not for another week, John."

"Teyla, the SGC is a front line base…"

"Carson said the SGC medical facility was better equipped than most hospitals, did he not?" She replied as she handed him his mug of strong coffee.

"Yes." John allowed, as he sipped the coffee and ran his other hand through his excessively spiky morning hair.

She reached up with a smile and flattened some of it for him. "We should get going."

With that she pushed past him and began her slow, but steady climb of the staircase.

--

The SGC was on high alert, sirens blaring and personnel running through its corridors. John and Teyla made their way quickly to the Control Room to find General Landry and Rodney standing at the windows, their eyes upturned to the screens set high up overlooking the Gate Room. Teyla quickly scanned the Gate Room seeing the tell tale blue glow on the far wall which indicated the Gate was active behind its metallic shield.

"Colonel. Teyla?" The General greeted them, his eyes falling briefly to her stomach, but any protest on his part disappeared quickly as the image above on the screens shifted again drawing his attention. "We received a call from Atlantis some time ago, reporting that the Replicators were heading towards the city. The Ancients appeared confident that the Replicators would be unable to harm them, due to their programming. However, they were wrong. The Replicators appear to have been able to alter their own programming, no doubt due to the fact that we altered their base code." All three of them glanced at Rodney.

"Hey. It's not my fault. We couldn't have predicted they would have been able to change their own programming!" Rodney protested.

"Regardless. They attacked the city and have taken over most of it. The Ancient leader has barricaded herself and the last remaining survivors in the Atlantis Control Room. They are currently attempting to push back the Replicators." He looked up at the screens which showed an empty partial view of the Atlantis Control Room. "It is not going well."

John and Teyla watched the screens as the sounds of warfare echoed through the speakers. The screams told them simply enough that the Ancients were not doing well.

"Should we be keeping the gate open, Sir?" John asked.

"With the iris up, we should be fine. What we are most concerned about is Atlantis falling into Replicator hands. If they make their way to Earth, even by ship…" The General left the end of the statement open. Teyla imaged in horror what the Replicators could do to Earth. They were all in danger. She stroked one hand over her belly, a slight contraction passed over her again and the baby stirred briefly.

"General?" Came an abrupt call and arrival of the Ancient leader Helia on the screen above them. She had dirt and blood smeared on her cheek and her hair was a mess.

"We're still here." Landry replied loudly and clearly.

"We have now successfully contained the Control Room, but it will not hold for long. We will lose the City."

"Are you sure you do not need assistance, Helia?" Landry asked, his tone suggesting he had offered this several times already.

Helia shook her head wearily. "It will make no difference, they have the Gate Room. Your people would die the instant they stepped into the city. Atlantis is lost. But, we will not go easily." She looked off as someone talked to her off camera. She looked back with a touch of a smile on her lips. "We have the means to end this once and for all. It may be too late for Atlantis, but we can make sure we correct our past mistakes before we fall."

Teyla felt a tingle through her skin at the blazoning expression in the Ancient's eyes.

"What are you proposing?" Landry asked.

"We have managed to uplink into their programming and are uploading new base codes. When they next enter into their next merger the code will be transported throughout the entire Replicator population through subspace, transforming them all."

Rodney stepped forward. "We tried that ourselves remember? They were able to reprogram in response to the new codes and stopped our new codes from taking affect."

Helia smiled rather wickedly. "That is why we have designed the program not to activate until they are merging. It is sitting hidden and packaged up until the merge begins. They will be unable to stop it. We just have to wait till the next merge."

"What have you changed?" Teyla asked.

"We have done what our people should have done long ago, at the Replicator's own request. We are ending their violent nature. The ideas of peace and ascension will be their main focus. But, we have also added the drive in their programming to defend all human races and to leave their own programming alone in the future. Perhaps they will engage the Wraith, but they will leave human populations alone."

Teyla exchanged hopeful expressions with the others.

"Are you sure this will work?" Landry asked, his eyes also on Rodney, who was wide eyed and nodding.

"It just might work." Rodney replied first. "But, when is their next merge?"

The Ancient's expression grew grim again. "We cannot predict when that will be. It should be soon, but not soon enough for us. We will not allow them to take Atlantis, we…" An explosion off camera grew her attention and there was shouting at her end. She turned back to them her eyes full. "They have disabled the shield over the gate!"

All eyes turned to the Earth Gate with its protective iris. There was a pause and then a massive sound of something concussing against the metallic shield reverberated through the base. The sound came again and everyone held their breath, all eyes on the flat iris pressed up against the event horizon.

"They can't get through; there isn't enough space for anything to materialise long enough to get through." Rodney whispered, but his tone betrayed his fear.

There was silence, except for the alarms in the background. Then an excessively loud burst of sound exploded from the gate and everyone instinctively turned and covered their faces. John pushed Teyla back, placing himself between her and the Gate Room. The explosive sound echoed in Teyla's ears for awhile, and then faded. Everyone stood upright again and looked out towards the gate.

The iris still covered it, but there was a portion extended outwards, like a super powered fist had warped the metal outwards away from the event horizon.

"Rodney?" John asked in alarm

"It must have been a type of energy weapon, but the amount of power it would take is astronomical. How can they have that power with them during siege?"

"What is the iris' integrity?" Landry demanded.

Technicians scrambled into action, Rodney over their shoulders. "It's still holding, but a small section has been partly pushed away from the event horizon." Rodney replied worriedly. "But, it's still only a tiny amount of space, no one could materialise properly in that space."

"And if they use that energy weapon again?" John demanded.

Rodney turned to them, the panic clear on his face.

"Sir!" Came a call from down in the Gate Room. They all looked towards the soldier, and then along his extended arm pointing towards the gate.

They watched the warped shape of the iris and saw that something was moving. Teyla leant forward, but the gate was too far away, so she looked down at the security camera picture displaying a close up image of the gate and its compromised iris. Something was moving along the spiralling lines of the iris where it was warped outwards. Something flowing like liquid seeped through, a metallic liquid that began to run faster through the lines of the iris, pooling together and began to flow down towards the grating at the foot of the gate.

"Shit." John said with feeling.

"Deactivate the gate!" Landry called.

"We can't, Sir; it's an incoming wormhole." The technician in front of them shouted.

Teyla watched in horror as the metallic liquid pool formed at the base of the gate began to grow upwards quickly shaping itself into a humanoid shape.

"Fire at will!" Landry shouted down at the guards in the Gate Room. Broken out of their shock they began to fire on the now fully human shape, its metallic sheen transforming into the appearance of human flesh and it began to stride away from the gate. Behind it more liquid was forming another pool at the gate's foot.

"We need A.R.Gs!" Rodney shouted and Landry made the call for the anti-Replicator weapons to be handed out.

"Place the base into Lock Down." Landry shouted as the sirens jumped up in volume and intensity as he passed them and reached for a red phone set on the wall. "We have an imminent Foot Hold situation." He spoke into the receiver.

Teyla turned back to see that five Replicators had now materialised in the Gate Room and were pushing the soldiers back. The projectile weapons had little effect on the Replicators, other than to slow them slightly. The guards used that tiny fact to evacuate safely out of the Gate Room.

"General!" Helia called from the screen. Teyla had forgotten about her momentarily.

Landry strode back to the screen. "I'm here. We have at least six replicators through the Earth Gate." He reported to her.

"They are also close to breaching the Control Room here. We will destroy Atlantis. The Replicators in orbit over the city have the new codes ready for the merge and those on your world may still upload with the others."

"You still have no idea when that will be?" Landry asked.

"No, General. Do not concern yourself about Atlantis; we have made sure that nothing will remain of this base. There is no other way to Earth via Stargate from this galaxy. I suggest that you also disassemble the Pegasus end of your new intergalactic gateway to be certain." She reached down and activated something and looked up her eyes full of resolve. "Atlantis will be destroyed in ten seconds. I will cut power to the gate for you now. Good luck."

"Thank you…" Landry started, but the screen went dead and the gate shut down and for a brief moment they stood in shocked silence. Teyla finished her silent count down to ten seconds.

"How can we know that Atlantis has really been destroyed?" She asked.

"Where is the Daedalus?" Landry asked.

"It should still be at Midway, Sir." Someone replied.

"Send a message to Home Defence that if we do not survive this, then they are to send the Daedalus to Pegasus to ensure the complete destruction of Atlantis."

"Yes, Sir."

And with that Teyla's connection to her home galaxy was lost. Would her people be alright? What if the Replicator's new programming did not work?

John gripped her hand tightly and she turned to him, seeing his understanding, but also his fear behind his military mask. They were not out of trouble yet.

"How many Replicators made it onto the base?" She heard him ask.

"Ten, Sir. They have breached the Gate Room. A.R.Gs are being handed out."

Teyla looked down to see the Replicators pushing open the heavy Gate Room blast doors like they were made of paper.

"Close the blast door." Landry ordered. The heavy metal cover began to descend over the window to the Gate Room, blocking her view of the Replicator invasion force moving out into the base.

Gunfire blasted down the corridor to their left. This was not good.

--

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Screams echoed down the concrete corridor outside the Control Room and it burst the room into action. John grasped hold of Teyla's arm and pushed her back away from the entrance. Teyla had already been heading that way, but John's constant and demanding push gave her a little more speed as she scrambled towards the metallic staircase that lead to the conference room and the offices above.

Soldiers appeared at the top of the stairs as she reached it and as they dashed down, an A.R.G was thrust into her waiting hands. She grasped a tight hold of the strange glowing weapon and forced herself to climb the stairs as quickly as she was physically able. John's touch returned insistent and supportive against her back as the shout of weapons fire pounded out from the exited Control Room behind her.

She heard the unusual sound of the A.R.G fire over General Landry's shouted orders echoing up the stairs, but all she focused on now was getting up these stairs as quickly as possible. From what she could make out from the half heard shouts below was that the Replicators were aware of the weapons now and were actively evading them as well as attacking.

John shoved her harder, as he turned and she heard his weapon discharge down the stairs. She kept moving intent on reaching the top of the stairs, where she would be able to supply cover fire for John and for the other soldiers attempting to escape up here. She finally reached the Conference Room level and paused, her weapon raised she cautiously peered up and surveyed the room. There was no sign of any immediate danger, so she carefully edged up, weapon ever ready against her shoulder.

Her belly chose this moment to contract again. She ignored it and breathed through the pain, as she carefully stepped into the Conference Room. John was at her shoulder, his weapon angled in the opposite weapon, covering her back. He made his way cautiously to check through the General's office windows. The space was empty.

Teyla checked the rest of the room, the heavy blast door over the massive window blocking her view of the Gate Room below. She wondered if some of the Replicators would hold the gate, and maybe try to dial back to Atlantis.

Behind her came more gunfire and shouting. She swung back towards the staircase to see several others appear, Rodney among them. He was tapping away on a tablet as he stumbled along surrounded by soldiers.

"Rodney!" John shouted, drawing the scientist's attention.

"We're taken down five of them. However the others have changed their behaviour. They know the A.R.Gs can harm them. We have no idea how quickly they may adapt to them. They're using human shields to reduce the effectiveness of the weapons." Rodney was in full panic mode, but it did not stop him from continuing to tap away on the tablet. "And they're trying to tap into the base computer."

"Will they get in?" John demanded.

"Not so far, but these are Replicators. They're almost as smart as the Ancients." He said with heightened concern.

An explosion shook the floor from below and Teyla steadied herself against the nearest wall. John made his way to her side.

"We need to get you out of here." He said his tone unrelenting and this time she didn't argue.

Another explosion rocked the floor and this time debris flew up the staircase. Everyone turned towards the sound, weapons raised. John began pushing Teyla backwards, and she kept close behind him. She reached out and grabbed a hold of Rodney's arm, steering him with them as they backed into the General's office.

Once inside John pushed her and Rodney into a covered corner. "Stay here and stay down, we'll check out the corridors." With that he and several others pulled open the other door and disappeared cautiously out into the confined space beyond.

Teyla looped her A.R.G's strap over her head and around one shoulder and tried to wait patiently, her eyes ever on the other doorway, even though it was guarded by several soldiers.

Pain squeezed her middle again and she staggered back against the wall behind her. Rodney didn't notice as another explosion hit outside, sending the window of the office flying apart. She and Rodney hunkered down under the large desk for protection.

"My God." Rodney uttered in panic, his eyes towards the space where the windows had been.

"We will be fine, Rodney." She reassured him as best she could. She pressed a hand on his arm, trying to draw his focus away from his overwhelming fears. "Are they any closer to hacking into the computer systems?"

That drew his attention and he looked down at the tablet in front of him. "Not yet. The changes we installed when we came back from Pegasus are stopping them. Besides they are too busy killing all of us. They'll have plenty of time to hack in once all the pesky humans are dead!"

A flood of wetness suddenly pooled under Teyla, wetting her trousers. For a split second she thought she had wet herself in her fear, but then realised what was happening. Another wave of pain danced over her middle and she tightened her hold on Rodney's arm in response.

He must have known something was wrong as he turned to her, his own fear and worried shifting. "Teyla, are you alright?"

The pain had dissipated. "I am now." She breathed out in a sigh.

Rodney's eyes dropped to her belly, and annoyingly he saw the dampness under her. His eyes widened. "You're not…."

"We need to focus on stopping the Replicators, Rodney." Teyla reassured him.

"But, you're going to……" He began.

"Labour lasts for many hours, Rodney. I will be fine." She replied, trying not to let her own sudden sense of panic and fear influence her. She couldn't believe that her child had chosen this time to start its birth! And days early as well. She prayed it was well and rubbed a gentle hand over her belly. A sudden sense of anticipation and worry passed through her, and it didn't feel like her own. She shifted her mind deeper as she did when she tried to contact the Wraith and once again felt the anxiety that was not her own and she realised that these feelings might be those of her child. She rubbed her hand soothingly over her belly again and worked through her meditative techniques to calm herself and convey that to her child. The anxiety wore off.

John appeared in the doorway and waved them hurriedly over. Teyla got up with Rodney's help and they moved over to John.

"There's only three left, and the A.R.Gs are still working, but don't take a shot unless you are sure you are going to hit them. We don't want them adjusting to the weapon." He ordered.

Together they slipped down the corridor, leaving the two remaining soldiers back in the General's office to cover their retreat. The corridor was littered with pieces of debris.

"What's with all the explosions?" Rodney asked.

John reached the end of the corridor and pressed his back against the wall, they copied him. "They appear to have worked out that humans don't fare too well against explosives." With that rather worrying reply he peered cautiously round the corner.

"Tell him." Rodney whispered next to Teyla. She hushed him with a look and with a nudge of her elbow. The last thing John needed was to be further distracted by her beginning labour. She had already put him in the worst position by being here. He was being extra cautious, working to get her out of here as quickly as possible, when he should be focusing on helping to stop the Replicators.

Rodney pulled up his tablet again. "It's only a matter of time till they return their attention to the computer. If just one nanite survives…"

John looked back at him. "That's what the A.R.Gs are for remember. Now follow me."

Teyla followed along behind John as he darted round the corner and down the next corridor, she kept a tight hold with one hand onto the back of his shirt, using his strength and speed to help move her extra weight. Rodney ran behind her, still muttering at his tablet. They rounded a corner and came across a large collection of soldiers lying in the corridor.

"Damn it." John spat out and pushed them back the way they had come. But it was not quick enough to hide from the sight of a tall Replicator male appearing around the far corner. Its cold pale eyes fixed on them as they disappeared around the corner. John swore again, as he lifted his A.R.G to his shoulder covering their retreat.

Rodney tapped Teyla's shoulder and indicated a shut door, the name plaque on which indicated it was Colonel Carter's lab. Rodney tried the door and it opened, so Teyla pulled on the back of John's jacket, pulling him with them.

Once inside, John closed the door as silently as possible and activated the manual lock on the door. Rodney rushed towards the computers sitting across the room and began to tap into them hurriedly. Teyla was about to ask John if there was another exit when another contraction hit her, she stepped back, her hands falling to her belly. John looked round in alarm at her whimper.

"Teyla? What is it?" John demanded, as he turned to her as best as he could whilst keeping his weapon trained towards the doorway.

"Congratulations you're going to be a father any minute now." Rodney muttered from his work on the computer.

John looked at her. "What? Now?"

The pain trickled away and Teyla leant back against the far wall from the doorway. "I will be fine. My waters only broke five minutes ago."

"What?!" John's look of absolute alarm would have been comical in any other situation.

"Labour lasts for hours, John." She tried to calm him.

"Crap." John said with feeling. He edged back from the door to join her at the far end of the lab. "Are you okay?" He asked, taking quick looks at her, as he kept his A.R.G trained on the locked door.

"I will be fine." She reached out now he was close enough and squeezed his arm.

"We need to get you to Carson." John uttered.

"There's only two Replicators left." Rodney announced. He pulled the crystal out of his A.R.G that had been hanging rather uselessly from his shoulder, and slotted it into a holder apparently made for it, connecting it to the computer. "I'm going to update the A.R.G programme in case they adapt to them before we can take out the last two."

At which point the door flew open. Everything occurred in slow motion for Teyla from that point onwards. She dropped down onto her side behind the large metal table, her weapon up in her hands. John dropped to his knee, and fired at the Replicator stood in the entrance. The energy wave flashed across the room, enveloping the machine. It disassembled in an instant, pieces cascading down to the floor to reveal another Replicator stepping up behind it in the hallway. John fired again, but this time the wave passed harmlessly over the tall female Replicator.

"They've adapted!" John shouted over the sudden sound of P90 fire from the corridor. The Replicator looked briefly away from them down the corridor in the direction of the gun shots. Bullets pounded into the Replicator, but after a moment a wave of metallic liquid passed over its form and the bullet holes disappeared.

"Rodney!" John shouted.

Teyla looked at Rodney near her on the floor. He reached up and typed as best he could as he hid behind the computer's screen and then he reached for the crystal. Teyla watched in slow motion as he pressed the crystal into the A.R.G's slot and looked up in alarm. Teyla reached for his weapon, as pain lanced through her belly again. Her hands on the cool weapon, she pulled it from Rodney's hands, and turned towards the now approaching Replicator.

John stood and shoved several carts of equipment into the Replicator's path, slowly it briefly. It looked down at the obstacle in front of it with the barest frown of contempt and then Teyla fired.

The weapon's energy flew up from her position under the table, passing between the table legs and passed over the creature. It looked momentarily shocked before it began to disintegrate. However, the fallen equipment had blocked its lower half and Teyla saw in horror that that lower half still held its integrity.

John reached out and pulled with all his might, drawing the fallen mess away from the Replicator. "Again!" He screamed over the sound of falling machinery, paper and Teyla's next shot which flew up and engulfed the remaining parts of the Replicator.

In an instant it was over. Teyla realised she had been screaming with that last shot in response to the wave of her own continuing contraction.

John was next to her in an instant. She gave the A.R.G over to him and he handed it over to a soldier now entering the room, General Landry close behind. "We need to get her to the Infirmary, now!" John ordered.

The contraction passed and Teyla lay back gasping with relief both from the contraction and that they were finally safe.

Soldiers were shouting orders, as Rodney crawled up to sit by her other side. "You two were amazing. Are you alright?"

"I will be." She replied.

"Let's go find Carson." John said with a worried smile, as he and Rodney helped her to stand.

--

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**Warning:** - Fluffiness ahead!!

--

John leant forward in his seat and peered into the crib once again. Charin Emma Emmagan Sheppard lay fast asleep, exhausted from her dramatic entrance into the world. Teyla dozed in the bed, as equally as exhausted. They had both been asleep for half an hour, and though John had planned to leave and talk to some people and maybe get a quick shower, he hadn't been able to make himself leave whilst they slept. Instead he had sat silently staring down at his gorgeous little daughter, absolutely captivated by her.

She was so small. He reached in and gently brushed his fingers against her minute hand, amazed at the perfection of her tiny fingernails. She was so beautiful. Even if she was all wrinkly and even in sleep she was frowning away, napping for the first time outside of her mom, breathing for herself.

John pulled the tiny blanket further up to her chin again, even though it didn't really need to be adjusted. He wanted to hold her again, but didn't want to disturb her. There would be plenty of time for cuddles later. So instead he withdrew his bandaged hand from the crib and went back to simply studying her intently.

She had been born six hours after the Replicator invasion had begun, the others had joked that she was like her parents; wanting to get into the action. It had instead terrified John when he had learnt Teyla had gone into labour during the invasion of the SGC. She had confessed later that she had been experiencing what she had thought had been practice contractions and a bearing down sensation since last night, so she had actually been in labour for a lot longer than six hours. Typical Teyla; she didn't let anything slow her down. Well, almost anything.

John turned from the crib to his sleeping wife. She looked tired, but comfortable in the large bed in their private room off the Infirmary. He had hated watching her suffer through the labour, feeling so useless and generally unhelpful except as a supportive voice and a hand to crush during the contractions. During the last big push her nails around his hand had cut deeply into his skin, hence the bandage around his hand. Carson had joked that there may actually be a scar left once it was healed. John hoped there would be. It would forever remind him of the most wonderful experience he had just lived through. Watching his daughter arrive into the world had been the most amazing thing he had ever seen, and he had openly wept as he had hugged Teyla and his new crying child.

Feeling emotional again he looked away from his amazing wife and back to his daughter. She sighed in her sleep, a little movement that made him chuckle. She was frowning again, obviously not impressed with her dreams he thought. If her future growth was anything like her birth they were in for a handful. Though she had been born a week early she was in perfect health, just ready ahead of time for the world. She had surprised Carson when she had opened her little eyes to reveal that she had the same green-hazel eyes as John; a highly unusual trait genetically for her to possess and especially so early in her development. Carson had begun muttering about her unique biology again, but John had tuned it out; he didn't care. All he cared about was that the two most important people in his life were both alive and well.

Charin snorted in her sleep and John suspected she would be waking soon. The anticipation was so exciting. He wanted her to know him as soon as possible, to hold her small form in his hands again and to watch her nestled up against Teyla happy to be with her mom. Though Charin was still flushed from her birth, it was obvious she had Teyla's golden skin, and she sported a full head of dark brown hair. She was unusual in everyway and already John was imagining what she might look like as she grew up. She was so pretty despite her wrinkled grumpiness, but then who wouldn't be after being kicked out of her comfortable warm home?

Teyla stirred in the bed beside him, drawing his attention away from Charin. Teyla opened her eyes slowly, blinking sleepily over at him. He reached out for her hand and moved to sit on the edge of her bed. She smiled that large happy smile of hers and he watched as she remembered everything that had occurred and her eyes slipped to the crib, her smile increasing.

"She's still fast asleep." John whispered to her.

Her eyes jumped back to his and she squeezed his hand.

"How you feeling?" He asked.

She shuffled a little further up against the pillows behind her and he saw her wince slightly. He reached out and plumped up the pillows for her and handed her a glass of water. She sipped it in delight and set it down on the bedside table.

"I thought you were going to get changed and have something to eat?" She asked with a knowing smile.

John took her hand again. "I couldn't seem to drag myself away." He admitted. Teyla laughed happily with him. He leant in and kissed her. She returned the kiss before wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He nuzzled into her cheek as she settled her head on his shoulder. "Thank you." He whispered.

"What for?" She whispered back.

"For everything; for being you and for giving me a family." He was feeling emotional again.

She stroked the back of his head and neck warmly. "We did it together."

John pulled back enough to look at her. "I didn't have to go through labour." He reached up and stroked several long strands of her hair from her forehead, tucking them behind her ear as he always did.

"Carson said it was considerably shorter than most women experience." Teyla replied as she sat back from him, tiredly resting back against the pillows.

"Well that's just typical of you; unique." John said with a smile. He looked over at Charin again. "And it looks like our little girl may be just the same as her mom."

As if hearing that Charin began to stir. John moved from the bedside to look down at her as the green eyes appeared, frowning up and out at her weird new world. She muttered and grumbled. John reached down and slid his hands carefully under the tiny being, taking great care in supporting all of her body. He felt so nervous holding her, like she would break in his large hands. But, he pushed those worries aside and carefully picked his daughter up from her crib and carried her over to her mom's waiting arms. Teyla took Charin, laying her into the crook of her arm with such confident ease. Charin safely transferred he moved to sit alongside Teyla in the bed, circling his arm around Teyla's shoulders and reached down to hold one of Charin's little clenched hands. She caught his finger, taking hold and he smiled down at her.

The large green baby eyes squinted up at them, and John kissed Teyla's temple as they sat and watched their baby girl.

A knock at the door announced Carson's arrival. He beamed at the sight of the new family.

"How are the two lovely ladies doing?" He asked.

"We are both well." Teyla replied.

"There are a few people out here who would love to meet the wee one." Carson suggested.

"I would have thought Rodney would still be out cleaning the base of Replicator blocks." John remarked with a smile. He was looking forward to the others meeting Charin.

"Aye, he's been using that newly programmed A.R.G like it was a toy. I hear they had to take it away from him before he got too carried away with his paranoia."

Teyla handed Charin to John, as she prepared herself for company. John took his little daughter as Teyla tidied her hair and clothes. Charin stared up at John, her eyes wide and slightly confused.

"You can let them in, Carson." Teyla said. John went to return the baby to her, but she stopped him. "You can show her to them." She said with a knowing smile. He couldn't help but be pleased. So he tucked his little daughter into his arm.

"You want to meet your long line of aunts and uncles now, Charin?" John whispered using his newly found baby voice. She squinted more intently up at him in response and then a tiny little smile appeared on her lips. Others would say it was just wind, but John always insisted that Charin smiled for the first time that day.

--

A month and a half later John and Teyla invited all their friends round to their house to officially show off Charin. John's brother Dave and his new fiancé had visited last week to meet their new niece. John had enjoyed the two days with his brother, experiencing what it meant to actually have a proper full family around him. Doctor Greesham had called to say congratulations as had Elizabeth from Europe. But, today was the big day when everyone from Atlantis would all be together again. They had thought that using Charin's arrival would be a good excuse to get as many of the old crowd back together again. So that day John and Teyla filled the house with food, and opened their doors to their friends. People arrived throughout the morning, but it was the last group from the SGC that they had been particularly waiting for.

The car pulled up outside the house, double parking momentarily to let the occupants out. John peered out through the curtain and saw Rodney appear, clutching a bunch of flowers, and behind him the familiar dreadlocked form of Ronon. Surprise and delight made him rush to the front door.

"Teyla!" John called to where she was stood amidst a group of people. "Look who's here!" He pointed out the door as he opened it.

Ronon was dressed in smart Earth clothes, but besides that he looked pretty much the same as he always had, minus the gun on his hip. He brushed past Rodney and caught John up in a massive rib crushing hug.

"Sheppard, man, it's good to see you!" He shouted in delight. Once John could breathe again he slapped him on the shoulders.

"How'd you get here?"

Ronon had been about to answer when he saw Teyla behind John so dashed to her and wrapped her in a slightly less confining hug. But, he did pick her up and swing her round briefly. She laughed in delight.

"He came back with the Daedalus." Rodney informed John.

That meant there was news from Pegasus, but John didn't push to hear it right away in case it wasn't the best news. He didn't want to ruin today for Teyla.

Rodney and he moved to the door and Rodney presented Teyla with the bunch of beautiful flowers, once Ronon finally released her.

"This is from the both of us." Rodney said. "We would have brought a present, but we didn't have time."

"You are both all the gift we could ask for." Teyla replied.

"Where's this little Sheppard then?" Ronon demanded.

"She's being coddled over like she was the Queen of the Nile." John replied as he led his friends into the house.

--

Hours later and only Rodney, Ronon and Carson remained; all happily sitting around the lounge together. Charin lay fast asleep in Ronon's arm.

"It was completely gone. The Ancients blew that city into tiny pieces. Even the Stargate, there were only small bits of it that we could find." Rodney reported, having just returned from the Daedalus' mission. "We swung by New Athos and Ronon was there."

"How are my people?" Teyla asked.

"They're good, Teyla." Ronon reported. "Halling was happy to hear about little Charin. He said to wish you well and he hopes that one day he will see you again, and perhaps meet little Charin."

John watched Teyla nod, saw the tears in her eyes, but she was smiling through them. "They are well then."

"Very. The Wraith and Replicators are still fighting, and there have been hardly any cullings that we have heard of. Most hives have been pushed back out of the Gate system." Ronon replied.

"About time they got their asses kicked for a change." John replied with feeling. He turned to Ronon. "So what you gonna do now?"

"Not sure. You can bet the Wraith are going to try and hit planets every now and then; try and get some food under the Replicator's noses. But, I thought I would stick around here for a bit. Teal'c, back at the SGC, promised to show me around this galaxy."

John was amused at the thought of those two as friends. Idly he wondered which one of them would win in a sparring match. Maybe he could persuade them somehow…maybe take some bets….

"And besides, someone's got to teach this little one how to fight properly." Ronon teased as he looked down at the tiny baby settled in his massive arm.

"I can assure you she will be able to defend herself." Teyla replied.

"That means, Sheppard, that in the future you can get your butt kicked by your wife and your daughter." Ronon laughed, but stopped quickly, not wanting to wake Charin. That only made the others laugh at the big strong Ronon hushing them over disturbing little Charin.

--

Later that night John and Teyla waved goodbye to their friends and shut the door leaving the house silent around them. Charin needed a feed before they turned in for bed, so whilst Teyla saw to that, John finished clearing up in the kitchen. It had been a great day and having heard the news from Pegasus only made it better. That and having Ronon on Earth; the family were all back in one place at last. Idly he wondered once again if Ford was still out there somewhere.

As he put away the dried plates and cups John looked out the darkened window to the falling rain and caught the reflection of himself. As always his eyes were drawn to the thin scar running down the side of his face. He looked down at the other small scar on his hand from Charin's birth. He had come to terms with all these scars, but it was this last one that served at a constant reminder for him of how things may be painful at times, but usually those times brought forth the greatest changes in your life.

He had survived through a lot these past years, and though it had not been easy he had gained from it all. He had learnt and grown stronger. And his marriage was stronger than ever. He had wondered what would have happened to him if Teyla had not returned to him. He had thanked Charin quietly one night when they were alone; thanked her for her arrival in their lives. For her presence even before her birth had brought Teyla and him together again. Imagine if Teyla had not gotten pregnant; she may never have travelled to Earth, even if she had wanted to. Atlantis would have been destroyed and he may never have had the chance to see her again. She would have been trapped in Pegasus and he would have remained sullen and alone on Earth.

The problems he and Teyla had had previously in their marriage were now resolved, but not forgotten. If they felt unhappy they talked about it now, openly and honestly. Not that they had had many problems other than who was getting up more in the night to tend to Charin. Those weren't proper arguments, not like before. No, now they had a much stronger marriage than ever before and in a strange way he was glad about what had happened. Not that he would ever want to relive some of it again, but he chose to see the good things that had resulted from the bad times. He and Teyla were closer than ever and had a most beautiful baby girl.

Charin was a month and a half now but John still wasn't used to the feelings she invoked for him. She fascinated him beyond anything ever before in his life. He spent hours with her, amazed at her existence and how very small she was. Though he enjoyed his work he still hated leaving in the mornings, having to leave her and Teyla. Though he was aware that he was saved from her demands throughout the day, he still wished he could stay home with them both. And as it was now a Friday night he now had the weekend with them. Life was good.

The kitchen cleaned up he turned to find Teyla in the doorway, her shoulder set against the frame and Charin tucked up against her other shoulder. She smiled at him in that way she had that told him she had been admiring him and perhaps feeling as contented as he was.

"How are my two favourite ladies doing?" John asked as he walked over to them, switching off the worktop lights as he went.

"We are well, ready for bed though." Teyla replied.

John reached out and took Charin from Teyla, turning her so she tucked into his shoulder and leant down to kiss Teyla. She returned the kiss with feeling and when she pulled back there was a sparkle in her eyes.

"I think its bedtime too." John said, hearing his tone drop with meaning.

"You'll see Charin to bed?" Teyla asked as she turned to the stairs.

"No problem." John replied. He turned and checked the kitchen one last time. Then he made sure the front door was locked as was the back door. The evening routine settled his mind, assuring himself that his family were as safe as he could keep them. That complete he turned off the last lights and climbed the stairs with his daughter tucked against him.

He entered the nursery and turned on the dim nightlight. Charin had begun to sleep for long spells at night, only waking once usually to demand food. Once she was satisfied she liked a cuddle and then she would fall asleep quite happily. She was a good child. John laid her down on the changing table and quickly and efficiently changed her nappy and pulled on her soft bed clothes. Charin stared up at him sleepily, happy enough to listen to his soft words. He talked to her about Atlantis at these times, telling her about her Mom and Dad's adventures in the mystical city. He was saddened that Charin would never be able to see the city, and was sad himself at the loss of his former home. But, then there might be other Ancient cities out there waiting to be discovered.

Ready for bed, John lowered Charin into her crib. She settled quickly apparently tired out from the days' excitement of meeting everyone. John turned on the baby monitor, setting it down near her in the crib and then activated the music toy at the foot of the bed. She liked that and it usually helped her to fall asleep. After a few minutes of soft encouraging talk from him, Charin's little eyes finally closed for the night. John stood over her for a few minutes longer enjoying the sight of his daughter and then finally turned away.

Teyla was in bed tucked up and reading a book. He glanced at the cover as he handed her the monitor and saw that she had started a new novel. She had finished 'War and Peace' completely some months back and though she had given it to him to complete himself, he did not plan to ever read it all. He preferred to leave it unread. It felt better that way for him, as if it were some connection for him to his times in Atlantis.

"New book?" He asked as he pulled off his clothes.

"Yes. I thought I would go for something more light-hearted." She replied, turning the book for him to see.

"The Colour of Magic." John read the title aloud. "Any good?" He pulled on his night joggers and pulled back the covers on his side of the bed.

"It is very amusing so far." She replied as she placed the marker into the book and set it aside.

John turned off the main light and snuggled down under the covers. Teyla shifted closer and he turned to her, sliding his arm around her middle. She wriggled slightly closer again, pressing herself up against him as her mouth sought his through the darkness. He met her searching kiss, pushed it deeper and pulled her tighter to him. Her hands slid under the waistband of his joggers, pushing them from his hips, making her intent pretty clear. Excited by her need for him, he stroked his hands over her body as they continued to kiss. Clothes were quickly shed, both of them hungry and ready for the other.

John pushed into her, listening to her gasps and moans of pleasure. She whispered his name into his ear as they moved with each other with a practised rhythm; in tune and listening to each other's responses. Soon enough she burst into her release, and John contained her cries with his kiss as he too climaxed, holding her to him, giving himself to her completely.

They clung to each other in the aftermath, both breathing fast and feeling deeply satisfied. John rolled onto his back, holding her to him and settled back into the pillow. This was the life he decided. He had spent the day with his friends, with his daughter and would fall asleep in the arms of his beautiful wife.

"I love you so much." Teyla whispered to him, her hand stroking over his chest.

He kissed her cheek softly. "I love you too, Mrs Sheppard."

She sniggered at him, knowing he enjoyed calling her that and she snuggled against him.

Yes, this was the life and he was blessed. Life had thrown some serious obstacles in his path, but so far it had also given him the most amazing opportunities. He was fortunate that he had been able to take those opportunities and reap the gifts they offered him. And though he was sure there would be more challenging times ahead, he knew he would see them only as opportunities to grow and to fill his life some more.

--

THE END !!


End file.
